Synastry reports are one of my most favourite astrology sessions to do. As a relationship and intimacy specialist, I love to be able to help couples understand one another more deeply, deepen into intimacy, and help them re-connect if they’ve lost their way. I love to be able to offer them guidance on how to navigate through the lands of the relationship and settle any challenges into peace, greater understanding, compassion and harmony. I previously shared on Venus conjunct Saturn in synastry, and Pluto in synastry, and today we’ll dive into the waters of Moon with Neptune.
what is synastry?
When two souls meet and fall in love, a third soul is born – the soul of the relationship. There is you, there is your partner, and then – there is the relationship, a land shaped out of how your energies engage and interact, and of how your inner worlds came together.
As any other land, it too has its own unique needs, desires, nutritive cycles and timings – and it goes through changing seasons and weathers and temperatures, while always continuing to birth new things and transform itself by the hands, lips and gestures of both partners.
Synastry puts the two partners’ natal charts together and allows us to explore this land and the dynamic of the relationship. Whether a couple is contemplating separation or divorce, or wondering whether to unite in marriage is the right path forward, synastry reports offer us an opportunity for a deepening of understanding, intimacy, and guidance on how to navigate through challenges and settle the relationship into greater peace, compassion and harmony.
In my opinion, and in my experience, there are no “deal breakers” necessarily, as long as the partners can put in the effort and are devoted to self-awareness – and, they love each other, and, they know how to love. As with our natal charts, anything can be changed and shifted through awareness – and astrology is one amazing tool for gaining that insight and self-awareness. What we choose to do thereafter, is only our choice.
Moon-Neptune Aspects in Synastry
All synastry aspects between the Moon and Neptune, or even between Venus and Neptune, or Sun and Neptune, will serve to bring out some kind of expectation; and involve a level of idealism, over-romanticism, or just not seeing clearly, and unfortunately, often times, it may bring some disillusionment. There is the tendency to see in the other what isn’t necessarily and actually there.
Romanticism can sometimes be helpful, but other times it can be quite heart-breaking and disastrous if the native is already predisposed not to see things as clearly, and when the intention of the “romanticism” is to disguise or escape rather than deepen or re-kindle.
The general feeling these two people can have when they initially meet is: you are the one I’ve been looking for my entire life. For the Moon person – this is usually about family, intimacy, love, home, emotional world, and all that is intuitive and familiar to me – you, dear Neptune, are it for me. Particularly with a Moon-Neptune opposition, the two partners fall in love effortlessly, easy and just feels right. The Moon person feels unconsciously and almost mystically drawn into the Neptune person, deeply desiring to build something deep and meaningful – and it feels almost inescapable, like fate.
The Neptune person neptunizes the Moon – so it’s like an enchantment that they put on the Moon. Neptune projects on a big scale; they meet you and look into your eyes as if you’re magic, as if you’re their dream come true – they project onto you all their dreams, wishes, prayers, hopes, expectations, longings, yearnings and unfulfilled desires onto you. And they will tell you, and when they do, it will be really hard not to feel touched by their beautiful and dreamy words. The Moon is our deepest self, and it is a significator of our soul, so you’ll feel this on a soul level; and Neptune will touch your deepest longings also and your heart. One thing that you need to watch out for if you are the Moon person is lies and deception from the Neptune person. This is because any time someone’s Neptune touches any of our inner planets, there is a chance of lies and deception, and difficulty seeing this because we are neptunized. Neptune itself may not even be realizing this neither, because they are under its own influence of self-deception also.
The Neptune person seems to give off a feeling of need – and of searching, pulling in the Moon further. Our Neptune is where we search, long, yearn; and where we also, often, feel empty. This kind of emptiness is like an abyss, that we’ll forever feel drawn into but we’ll rarely fulfill because this kind of desire is always in front of us i.e. never fulfilled – and the Moon gets pulled into this mystical orbit, connecting to this need of the Neptune person. And the Neptune person does want to provide and give – and this indeed can be a beautiful and loving bond – but – and only if – the two are mature enough to also accept the reality of one another, and not fall into an unhealthy, addictive or co-dependent pattern. Because what happens is that this aspect, just in itself, creates a sense of safety into which both partners fall as a life force. Especially for the Moon person – they feel like this is their home and the big promises Neptune makes out of its desires which may often times be selfish or come out of some desperation or need to be loved or idealize – may hurt the Moon person in the long run.
Sometimes the opposition can be truly a most beautiful aspect, if the other aspects are there for stability – because then this aspect contributes to love, intimacy, romance and dreaminess, which creates a healthy relationship. But – for other people it may just create an illusion, and in years, disillusionment. So when we see this aspect, we need to pay closer attention to the individual natal chart of the partners to see whether they have the tendency to idealize or not see clearly – for example: do they have a lot of natal Neptune aspects to their inner planets; do they have a lot of Pisces energy; or planets in the 12th house. These can set up the person on a Neptunian search without the proper mind, groundedness and discernment, and give them the tendency to lose themselves in illusion and/or delusion, or lead other people on.
Moon square Neptune in Synastry:
The square makes this aspect much more difficult – because a square is internal and difficult to see and come out of that veil, as it deals with deeply unconscious and subconscious things. The Moon may initially see Neptune as their ideal partner, ideal spouse, ideal lover – the one they always waited for; they are swept up in a veil of idealism. Neptune looks at the Moon out of their need or emptiness, and projects onto them all their inner longings also, thereby placing them under their Neptunian dream, sweet addictions or illusion. Because Neptune is far away in the sky, like a distant dream or mirage, the Moon’s way of holding this closer to itself is to “objectify” the love – in other words, create an image of how and what it should be, along with all the expectations that we attach to relationships and people in order to protect ourselves from disappointment. There is a lot of escapism in this dynamic – both partners can be denying the truth of each other and the reality of the relationship.
The square, especially in combined with some Pluto in the synastry, can make a relationship that is extremely difficult to break – because it is too addictive to let go of. It is addictive, and as human beings we like living in our illusions and deceptions. Honestly, over 90% of couples do not get through this aspect and cannot accept the reality of their dynamic nor see themselves clearly. These are the people who will tell you how they’ve met their twin flame, even though what they have met is perhaps a very karmic partner with whom they perpetuate unhealthy and co-dependent dynamics; and there’s very little you can tell them to make them see reality – they will not accept anything you say that is contrary to what they believe, and they are very protective of the illusions they’ve built, even to their detriment to health and wellbeing.
The infatuation that comes as a result of Moon square Neptune cannot be broken with logic because many times it feels so good. It’s a sweet addiction and people can become really unaware of and detached from reality. This dynamic often creates a fantasy that may suddenly turn into a nightmare, once reality sets in. It’s like a sudden sober up moment, and one day we wake up and our beloved has become our very own rat from hell. The perfect love or romance that once was is now a mess of fantasies or denial to accept who we are as flawed individuals.
With Moon square Neptune, the lengths we can go to lying to ourselves to protect ourselves from the truth of each other are endless. Neither partner may be telling the truth about why they are still in this relationship, and deny the truth of who they are and who the other is. True love can sometimes happen only after the disappointment of seeing our partner as who they really are. The square aspect is basically “falling in love with the unmet needs within ourselves projected onto the other person”. So there is a veil of illusion of who our partner is. There is a lot of sadness that can come after we see the reality of our flawed selves, because the more we unveil or de-mystifying our partner and seeing the reality, the more we are actually grieving the de-mystification of our own lives, and all the time passed.
So how do we work with this aspect?
Once we accept the reality of who we are and who the partner is and our relationship, there are two options:
One – we can decide that there is enough to work with still and there is love to save still, and then we begin the real work of love and intimacy by re-introducing each other, learning our very different ways of love and expression, and basically re-learning how to make fire. We begin a new relationship or marriage with new dedication to understanding each other this time.
Two – we realize that we are just not good for each other, we fundamentally don’t understand each other and it is best to go our separate ways.
This aspect can either result in amazing self-knowledge, or it can be self-deception. The knowing comes after the acknowledgement of the deception and disappointment. It is an aspect that in its higher spiritual meaning leads us to deep self-acceptance. We can accept ourselves for who we are, for our past decisions, and come into more self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
This is also an aspect that can lead us towards true love and real freedom – because real freedom first begins by discerning deception, and freeing ourselves from the chains of illusions. When we have the courage to see reality for what it truly is, and receive the higher spiritual gift of disillusionment – we can now make wiser choices. We will no longer be bound to something unreal, we’ll be on our search to something true and what our souls truly were looking for and meant to have.
This is essentially a path to self-fulfillment and true happiness – because this aspect can actually result in gaining your trust that what you are looking for exists, and you can have it – but you need the real it and not just the hope or fantasy of it. Disillusionment is a high spiritual gift, and an initiation for discernment and maturity. Only then, true deep soul love, the one you’ve been praying for, can be yours.
For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.
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Cover photography by Ibai Acevedo.