when something starts, it can’t unstart

i add the vanilla.

sometimes it feels human
sometimes this flame is
almost all blue high priestess i welcome you

(the last wax didn’t melt)

and then all
covered in paper or mud
like almost unhappened

no use opening it
it’d be like sewing water

in the house there are
no memories in leather
like a jacket worn and then thrown
away

the rest is kept
within me

quiet roses say quiet, quiet
so that quiet grows around them

no use opening it
it’d be like tying the zephyr winds

or zahir

dear lucia

because a human heart can only hold a love
as much as was felt through the childhood eyes

vanilla and ylang ylang are airing from my bathtub
still within we breathe the old things still
i am a sensitive night of lanterns
pulling myself over the furniture where shadows
have spread their bodies over fragile memories
& innocence

dear lucia: you were my last doll

the one i still hold whole in my hands
because how can hands ever forget
the hope that once perfumed them

here is where i take him
behind my breasts
here is where he takes me
(blood way)
without hands
take me
this gift of mine
this gentle female heart
of mine
this mine
this ours

& all feelings hit me
in the right places

& this love between us
never changes

say sea

say sea
say sea backwards in my ear

so that maybe i forget how deeply in love
i fell to kneel
on cold majolica tiles
searching for a tiny place
white enough like paradise to
take me in

say it wasn’t real
say we’ve said it all
until the night

admits

the stars

and the walls so gentle like blue sugar it all melts
and in every way you
find me home

changing woman weaving house

the woods are waiting for me tonight, dear stone fruit:

so i run fast over the wild land of returning paths
destiny chasing my heels, i enter
changing woman weaving house
where the otherworld is everywhere

weaving the integrity of emeralds, sacred lovers
tenderness in tents and the souls of the thousand white wolves
and so i weave, dear stone fruit:

to intuit fire i
am moon water i
am white shell
woman

& my only possession is a wooden jar
where i’ve collected seas and streams and tears
to keep them warm inside like a womb, protected
in my lap i nurture them
so that they are comforted
so that their eyes of rain are witnessed by mine
and i never spoke of burdens

and so we weave, dear stone fruit:
clouds into winds, tides for the fishermen
lyric of hearth and the seed of the eagleman
weaving, spinning the ever creating
web of wyrd

under the constant beat of the only sound there is:
of love

to venus & back to you

let’s take off the crowns
running barefoot after rains
collecting spots on ladybugs

to venus
and back to you

past the apple tree
i have a hiding place
where just the two of us play
where i wear these blue jeans of yours
and wolves are running silver moonstreets in your dark eyes
and i like how you make me come
perfumed in clairvoyance

not loud
not unmusical
and maybe we can lean against some rocks
and maybe we can even slow dance
mystic crosses are on both my palms
because magic is we are
we are love incarnate

say love

i met a man
whose hand i held and maybe
i shouldn’t have

say yes. say yes anyway

it is more than skins can hold
his tending for my small body
love is such a silent giant thing
he’s so blood close. week old roses
watch the floor of our clothes
my morning looks beautiful in his shadow
under cold waters i am sweating
would i vanish steamed somewhere along the way
carrying confessions with his name?

say yes. say yes anyway

his blue dreams, my blue eyes
a single candle has two wicks
can i hold a life in a palm-sized photo?
like a virgin burning of fire
i run towards my god, before his door i kneel
open please, open
and he opens.
and all is everything
nothing more to say but

say love. say love anyway
say love despite the love

i like you like

i like you
like oltremarino
a special shade of blue
found only overseas
like Positano
like salt water wearing skin
bare thighs and shy freckles on my arms
like a whole slow day in bed
with silk curtains snaking winds
holding years of miles
like a voice that crosses the land of ice
and changes the course of my blood
like seconds that enter and refuse to leave
tracing promised hands along the quiet archway of my waist
like uncrowded paved streets towards a small white chapel
like eyes of heaven, so clear
like a love ritual repeating i do
each day, as if only to feel
this entire, this
fully
i like you like i love you
sacred, intimate and always

venice in veils

white snow fell
it should have been veils on my shoulders

a snow so white —
it is scraping windows and shredding stars
erasing streets and stairs
i never knew how far we’d walked

a snow so white …
it should have been veils falling on my shoulders
it should have been forever
now only venice is in veils

no.
this is snow, this is snow

and this snow is so white, it is red
and the red cardinal is here
and the red snow begs for ink
snowdrops get here before me
maybe spring really is near

how can life forget?
i am holding a pulse
pumping imprints, shaping skins

and there are loves
greater than all other loves and forevers
i’ll know them only when i am a mother

tuck away this moon behind my ear

tuck away the moon behind my ear

aura of royal blue
butterflies migrating south
& each word is longer, further
away from where you are

if i ever forget you i’ll know i’ve gone too far

somewhere on the radio
is how i feel about you
is our summer afternoon
leftover flowers gather on the side of the road
each window carries its own
little rain
night car
in winds and wants
designing skybreaks
because the full moon is children’s book gigantic tonight

and maybe it’s the impossibilities that
make us so possible

so come your eyes & tuck away this moon behind my ear

my prince of blue

because the frail wing
trembling in black possessive mud
is a voice stranded by words and
the night eats words

i walk towards it sharpened by desire
sometimes it seems human

maybe this is the only way
for my pillow to keep its gentle spell of dreams

because i need a place where i can hold you

you should know
i’ve become every altar across three continents

you should know
i’ve become every animal you’ve left behind

my prince of blue
night is better
i am afraid, glorious
and ethereal
water is poseidon and
the sky opens its mouth wide of fireflies
i land cool rain of thousand fires
in ash we are born

sometimes this place feels almost human