~ There is no love without vulnerability ~
Today we’ll dive into the worlds of relationship compatibility through the lens of astrology, and we’ll discuss one of the most beautiful aspects you may come across in a composite chart, Venus sextile Pluto. But first, what is a composite chart?
Synastry shows us the dynamics between the two lovers, and how their energies blend and affect one another. Synastry is how do you affect me; what do I feel when you’re near me, when I think of you, when my skin touches yours and I smell your neck; how does my heart beats thinking of you, how does my body burn thinking of you?
A composite chart is the relationship itself. When two souls touch and kiss, of their love a new soul is born: the soul of the relationship. Its soil, the unique physical, emotional and spiritual wildlands upon which the two lovers walk is the composite; and we into these lands to ask: what soil is ours; what is its climate, temperatures, seasons, landscapes, streets; is it of dry lands and deserts, or foreign lands which will ask us to put in more effort to understand the language; is it full of mysterious caves which we need to explore and re-explore; what bodies of water do we have to soothe ourselves; how fertile is our moist soil, and what are we creating?
With synastry, we put two charts on top of each other – so it is really important because essentially this is what shows how deep and compatible things will be between us; and in the composite chart, we basically take the mid-points of the two charts and create what’s known as the birth chart of the relationship itself. It’s the baby of the relationship. Some astrologers view it as the larger story of the relationship, or how it will play out in the long run, and whether marriage or not is possible.
While you can soothe some of the synastry aspects with mutual emotional maturity, compassion, patience and self awareness, you can’t really change an unhealthy composite, which is why the composite chart is seen as the outcome of a relationship; and it is more appropriate to consider for couples interested in long term relationships and compatibility.
*Please know that these are only general descriptions, and the interpretation may change depending on the aspects received from other planets, especially squares and oppositions. Beyond the lines of the chart, for any relationship to work, we also need to understand that both partners need to have a certain level of self awareness and emotional maturity. When we have squares and oppositions, in either synastry or the composite, these are often mirroring deeper aspects of ourselves that we need to work on, heal or develop – and that’s because relationships are a mirror to us. If you want to experience the higher manifestation of energies and aspects in your chart and experience deeper intimacy emotionally, physically and spiritually, you need to first start from within. Squares and oppositions in either synastry or composites often create initial attraction but it is based on “potholes” that create vaccum; these are not stable nor fertile moist soils upon which we can build something deeply fulfilling to us. And this is why you will find that you may often “fall out of love” with someone, when you’ve worked on an aspect witin you, which is now no longer serving as attraction to someone who hasn’t healed that within themselves. Sexual attraction is always important for any relatonship to work, but it needs to be real sexual attraction rather than artificial attraction based on unhealed aspects.
Composite Venus Sextile Pluto
Sweet, intimate, fated love. There is a real sense that we were made for each other with this aspect; a deep sense of fatedness, I was made for you, I’ve been waiting for you, my body is made exactly for you, this was meant to be.
A sextile shows a very fertile relationship, full of emotional and sexual depth. In alchemy, only earth and fire transmute, which basically means that water and air only move things but don’t change them. A sextile is an aspect either between water and earth, or between fire and air; so we have one element acting as the moving energy, moving emotions, and then the other takes it in its hands and creates a transformation in a gentle way. This is why a sextile can be very fertile in synastry also, and offer the depth and transformation without the drama, pain, control and manipulations that squares and oppositions, and often even conjunctions, bring. Water nourishes earth and maes it moist; air stimulates fire; so sextile can be great for sexual energy and baby making, or birthing new energies together.
A sextile between Venus and Pluto offers us the right amount of depth without drowning or hurting. There is real depth of intimacy and emotional connection, in addition to sexual desire, sexual depth, feeling and pleasure that the two lovers share and feel mutually. It is primal and addictive, while also soulful and deeply emotional. The Plutonian transformation comes through easy relating; it comes in a very natural and smooth way, and you may not even feel it as it doesn’t manifest as pain, control or power games. There is a sense of something really special between the two partners – and a feeling that each of them can share themselves intimately with the other without being judged. There is a freedom of being truly honest and open with one another – and that’s how the transformation happens. This is a moist relationship soil that typically nurtures a long lasting connection with depth of feeling, trust and pleasure.
The way Pluto looks at you is like no other man, it is irresistible; and you will not forget it, and you will long to be looked in that same way again, and again – so deeply, like you are the only one. Pluto’s eyes are hungry eyes, and you feel the only one in the room, in the world, in his world; they are unmoving from yours, he wants only you, loves only you, his eyes own you, and you’re theirs, wholebodily and wholeheartedly.
When Pluto looks at you you know; you know he’s yours and you’re his, and that for him you’re the only one he ever wanted because his eyes are laser focused all on you; they do not waver from you no matter where you go; and Venus loves this. You feel seen; you feel truly seen for who you are within. And in such a profoundly seeing on a deeper level, skin deep, soul deep, you feel more naked than you’ve ever been and yet held in arms in which you can completely fall into and surrender willingly and unresistingly.
Love is a seeing and of being seen not of flesh but through the flesh – and with Pluto there is both the sexual depth and the emotional depth, and the soul connection the two lovers seek and deeply long for. The way Pluto sees you is unforgotten; and Venus longs to be seen that way, so fully, so wholly, to be completely consumed in his eyes without being hurt, manipulated or controlled like in the square, opposition and conjunction. This is why this sextile feels so sweet – because it gives us the right amount of depth.
And this is what this relationship feels like – hungry loving eyes consuming you, without the pain and drama, just sweet sweet deep loving. The transformation comes easily, willingly; you don’t even feel how love has freed you, changed you, peeled off the false layers and resistances off of you, so that you now reveal your true fragrance and your souls blend and bond and merge.
There is no love without vulnerability. Deep love and true intimacy can only happen when boundaries dissolve, when we are willing to show our true selves to someone, open up, and share of ourselves, and when we are not just saying “I love you if you love me”, but are putting ourselves out there, being vulnerable, at the possibility of being rejected. Love is a kingdom for the brave.
We need to be with someone whom we can trust and open up to who will not judge us or control us or manipulate us; and this is why such composite Pluto sextile Venus soils offers us an opportunity for real depth of intimacy – because we allow one another to be seen and be honest unveiling our inner worlds. This is how people truly connect – when they can open each other’s hearts, share their vulnerabilities and fears and all and everything – and know that their partner is trustworthy and with kindness will take it all in without taking advantage of their weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Often times with this aspect, there can be a natural understanding of trust, privacy and respect. You create your devoted sacred love life, and in its intimate emotional cocoon you just love each other, and have your own world of the magic word called us.
Since this aspect happens in the composite chart, it shows that this is how your relationship may be felt by both of you: a depth of emotional and physical connection. As long as it is not receiving hard aspects from Uranus, Saturn, Mars or the Sun, it shows the potential for the stability needed to nurture a long lasting relationship. Even if you experience some separation, you may find yourselves drawn back to each other like ocean waves – because the depth of feelings may often feel uncontrollable and unforgettable.
The transformation may sometimes be that either one of you, or both of you, may have had some resistances to commitment, but this is not a casual bond, and due to the emotions you feel, you may end up in monogamy, full commitment all the way. Other times, the transformation may be that your skins soften, your hearts open, and you take off your armours to connect deeply and emotionally, coming into true intimacy with one another. In this way, it is a heart opening that serves to heal and inspire your trust and ability to truly connect to another person.
No matter what happens, whether you stay together or not, be grateful for having met someone who inspired within you these beautiful emotions, opened you, and through them and the connection, you were able to experience a deeper way of intimacy.
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Cover art by Frederic Leighton, The Fisherman and the Siren, 1856.