A tiny grain of sand washed into a mussel, entering its protective shell. Hard, sharp and angular, the grain of sand lies in the soft flesh and brings ongoing pressure, discomfort and even pain to the mussel’s tender inner lining. The mussel begins to surround the sand with its soft lining and makes of it a round shimmering pearl. And while this process was initiated through pain and a breaking of frailty, it brings wisdom, insight and happiness eventually – a fulfillment now shaped into something extraordinary beautiful and long lasting. It is a gift from the depths of the oceans.
This pearl symbolism describes beautifully what I’ll share with you about Mars-Saturn aspects in the natal chart, particularly the harder aspects of the square and opposition, and also the conjunction to some extend. Trines and sextiles are also felt by the native though usually they are a bit easier to move through as the energies blend more harmoniously.
Mars-Saturn aspects manifest quite differently for men and women, and today I’ll be focusing on their impact in a woman’s natal chart. I’ve had many of my beautiful women clients with these aspects over the years, and there are many women nowadays who have these too, and what I have found is that there isn’t enough information on this aspect’s impact on women, so whether these aspects touch your chart natally or by transit, or you just seek to deepen your knowledge and understanding, may this enriching to you and of soothing benefit.
Mars-Saturn Aspects in a Woman’s Natal Chart
The first thing I’d like to share is that in general, when it comes to squares in your natal chart, and synastry as well, the path forward is usually through the feminine energy. What I mean by this is that if you seek to bring balance to the inner tension and external conflicts that squares often create, you need to move into the feminine energy in a more balanced and harmonious way, regardless of your gender.
This means: the healing path is through compassion, acceptance and acknowledgment, tenderness, empathy, listening, softening (even literally with water or moisturizing), and letting go of judgments and fixed beliefs. Squares in synastry move the same way also – so if you have these squares in synastry, it is also through shifting your perspectives, being more compassionate, tender, listening and flexible.
In a woman’s chart, Mars-Saturn aspects are usually expressed through her male partners or external situations, or an image projected onto a man or someone she views as authority in her life, depending on the person’s unique natal chart. Mars-Saturn aspects do not have to be “literal”, they can sometimes be energetic, such as Mars being in Saturn sign, or Saturn being in a Mars sign, which too will give you this undercurrent of energy. So for example, Mars in Capricorn, or Saturn in Scorpio.
A lot of women have these Mars-Saturn energies or undercurrents, particularly those born in the last few generations, and this is due to generational or ancestral things related to that way feminine energy was mistreated or abused in the history of the lineage and the history of humanity overall. For people born as men too, these aspects also reflect generational issues, such as reflecting the inability of the men to have grown up emotionally mature and the unhealthy masculinity. So in a man’s chart, these aspects will usually invite the person to face and heal in their masculine energy.
Mars-Saturn aspects can often times refer to early life experiences with facing some sort of controlling environments, or injustices, or in some cases, depending on the overall chart and aspects, unfortunately it may relate to abuse whether emotionally, verbally, physically or spiritually. It could have been directly experienced by the woman or she might have witnessed it in other people, but it usually leaves an impact in her memory.
In general, if you have these aspects, it refers to a situation in your life where you might have felt a sense of powerlessness. Perhaps it was because you faced a lot of limitation in early childhood due to limited resources, you might have faced controlling people or restrictions from authority figures or structures, where you might have felt a limitation of your own sense of self authority; or there might have been some instabilities in your childhood or your father was emotionally erratic and prone to getting angry fast, or your sense of self-expression was limited, or you were criticized a lot, or unrealistically high expectations were put on you by other people, or you were being involved with people who had a lot of insecurities and projected all this onto you, or perhaps you grew up in an environment of someone who was emotionally immature or reactive and you had to walk on egg shells to keep the peace and harmony, which then made you suppress your own emotions.
There are many ways in which this may have manifested – but in general, the healing path involves reclaiming your power and your voice when you grow up, setting boundaries with others, not feeling responsible for everyone and everything carrying the world on your shoulders, not feeling guilty about not working, and giving yourself plenty of rest without the pressure of always doing more and more and more. It is about softening, and nurturing and nourishing your feminine energy.
Let’s understand this deeper.
Whatever the situation was in the past, this sense of powerlessness may often make us as women become focused on building our own kingdom of protection and support and self-reliance later on in life. We basically become very self reliant and independent and very strong because we learned early on that we can only rely and depend on ourselves. Our internal drive though is often the fear of not ever wanting to feel “powerless” or controlled or limited again.
In adulthood, this aspect in a woman’s chart usually manifests through either two extremes: one is attracting or dealing with men who are too egoistic, aggressive, bullies, emotionally reactive or immature or let you down in some way; or on the other extreme, men who are deeply insecure, “spineless”, passive aggressive, and usually have some insecurity related to their physical body also, for example they perceive something “weak” about themselves, and they project it onto you.
This aspect can create the feeling in you that everything revolves around the other person – for example, your boyfriend has a lot of problems and you are always the one nurturing him and helping him, and yet you can never share anything with him, because you have to be the strong one constantly and because he is unable to handle your problems nor has the capacity to accept your emotions and deep fears, doubts, etc.
Or he is constantly in some “mood” and you have to walk on egg shells out of fear that he might react in some critical way or ignore you or diminish you or even make a joke about your problem and this takes you all the way back to your childhood where you felt powerless again. With time, you close off. Or you become your partner’s “mother or parent”, because you are always taking care of him, and yet you are not taken care of, so eventually you lose respect for him or resentment builds up, as you begin seeing him as in immature boy; so your attraction towards him will be lost also.
Because of how feminine energy works in relation to masculine energy, if we have this aspect as women, it can feel a little difficult to open up and share our deepest fears and vulnerabilities, because we have to be “strong” all the time, it is almost expected of us to not be in our feminine gentle nature. We may feel we carry so much burden on our shoulders that we forget how it even feels like to have relaxation in our body and weightlessness on our shoulders.
Quite literally, we may begin to feel back or shoulder or neck pain, or our bodies can feel more inflexible. This is why it is important to move your body, get massages or just massage your own body with oil or lotion, take baths, so your exercises, and just take time each day to relax and do nothing! Don’t feel guilty about focusing on pleasure and joy, and don’t feel like you need to fix everything or do everything.
You may feel responsible for everything and everyone, and like you are everyone’s rock – because Mars-Saturn is steel like, heavy engineering, so it can create a steel-like persona. It’s purposeful and gives you immense energy – you can indeed climb Everest tomorrow if you decide, and can have amazing focus and powerful energy to achieve anything!
But – let it not be at the expense of your softness. Because when we build too many steel walls, it can become a cage and make us feel lonely. If we do everything by ourselves, and never ask for help, that will make us feel very alone and unsupported one day. We all need someone in life. Make it a goal to ask for help and support, even if you don’t necessarily “need it”.
With these aspects, we can feel really lonely if we don’t have the arms into which we can fall and be weak too when we need to, feel sad and cry when we need to, and be loved even when we don’t have it all together and figured out. It’s important to find a man with whom you are able to feel like a woman; and the only right man for you is someone who is in his healthy masculine energy.
Feminine energy adapts and moves, and masculine leads; so if the masculine is not in his healthy masculine, the feminine will have no other option than to harden up and take lead, because she has people or family or herself to take care of. So – it is important to be with the right person for you romantically. When a man is in his balanced masculine energy, he makes you feel safe, protected and relaxed – and you will naturally fall into your feminine energy with more gentleness. Otherwise you may feel anxious or unstable around him. You need to tune into your body and see how you feel around a man, or whoever partner you choose, man or woman etc. Listen to your body, and how it feels around someone.
Women with Mars-Saturn aspects are incredibly strong and powerful – in fact, their energy is so powerful that people might feel intimidated by it, and even if they are tiny and thin framed, people can immediately sense their presence and power. You will also look very youthful, perhaps until late in life, because this aspect gives you this great amount of energy within – it gives you essentially high life force energy, which creates vitality. Sexual power is high also, which is another reason why people may feel intimated in your presence. So the trick is to learn how to work with Mars, which is the energy of fire, because otherwise this aspect can lead to frustration or anger or keep attracting men towards you who are just not that good for you.
Aside from looking youthful, these aspects give a woman tremendous endurance, perseverance, inner strength and courage that most people cannot even dream of. It gives you a powerful reserve of raw energy – you basically have the most powerful engine of a car, and can achieve anything in life. I meet many women with such aspects, and the one thing they have in common is that they are incredibly magnetic in their energy, very strong appeal and attract like bees to honey; and they possess unshakable inner strength, and have gotten very far in life despite the many struggles.
Some of the most famous and most attractive women in history have Mars-Saturn aspects, because this gives us as women that endurance, steel-like endurance, that can move mountains, make us fearless and courageous, even though internally we usually recycle a lot of fears. This is also an aspect for athletes and world champions – and sport in general. It is really important to stay physically active with these aspects – even if only taking a walk each day, as this will always balance you and help you.
Mars-Saturn aspects can sometimes be called dragon aspects, or it’s kind of like a Ferrari engine; this is a powerful energy, powerful engine. Mars is the gas pedal, Saturn is the brakes, and with this aspect you are essentially driving this power car with both feet. One foot on the gas, and the other on the brakes, like a race car driver. If you push both, it’s not good. So it’s about learning to balance and drive with both feet, otherwise there can be a lot of frustration built up within your energy, which may often manifest as anger or fear.
What this means is that essentially it is about learning when it’s time to act and push, and when it’s time not to. We don’t push seeds into the frozen ground in winter, for flowers will not grow, we’ll only hurt the seeds and we’ll frustrate ourselves. So in times of waiting, you need to relax and not feel guilty you are not “doing” something.
On a mundane level, you may often feel like each time you do something or finish a project, you have to start another. Or you may constantly over-edit everything. Or you feel not good enough, so you constantly want to prove yourself. Learn to enjoy your relaxation times, and again, move more deeply in your feminine energy, which is just about joy, following your joy and not worrying about everything.
Surrender is something you may need to learn here with this aspect; and surrender isn’t just towards god or spiritual, it is something physical your body needs to feel. A simple way is water, floating. There are these amazing salt water pools, where the concentration of salt is so high, that your body floats as soon as you enter.
No matter how much your muscles may be tense and resisting, your legs will rise, your arms and back will all float. And even if you are over-thinking something, as the body relaxes in this surrendered floating state, you mind too will follow; and your body itself will remember what relaxation feels like. Saunas too can be quite nice, because Mars loves heat, and sometimes we just need to sweat it out, whether through cardio, weight training or the sauna.
For some women, especially the square and oppositions of this aspect can create a lot of internalized anger, suppressed emotions and attaching fear to situations and relationships. It’s good to recognize where you acting out of fear or guilt, and also set boundaries and respect your boundaries. These aspects can create a hardened energy, which is why the path of healing is softening through the feminine energy. Be the queen of dragons with compassion, not the dragon itself.
There’s nothing to prove, and you are not here to prove anything. Many women can go into stressful work positions, or be over-achievers, so be mindful of this, as it will only lead to more hardening of your energy and separate you from your inner self. Be mindful of being too critical or judgmental or pushy, because sometimes these can be manifestations of an imbalanced Mars-Saturn aspect.
Saturn matures at the age of 35, so usually these aspects soften up even after the age of 30 (i.e. Saturn return), and women feel a release of energy in some way. It is important to find something you love doing and pouring your passion into it, so that you channel the energy to your benefit. Jupiter is also great for channeling the energy, so you can look to your natal Jupiter placement; and Venus and Moon also, so look to where and how you may connect to your feminine energy and creativity in a healthy balanced way.
At the root of this aspect is usually a need to rebel against authority, and sometimes in their teenage years the women with these aspects will love rock music, bad boys with tattoos and motorbikes, and just be really rebellious. Rocking on some rock music in adulthood or going to the gym for some cardio to sweat it out can be a great release. Women with these aspects are usually attracted to men who look like brick, with big muscles, because this is there projected Mars-Saturn image of the rock and brick; or end up with men who are engineers, police officers, athletes, lawyers, or have been in the army.
There is also an almost core need for the women to stay in their freedom and self-authority; and so naturally they need some space or a partner who understands their need for space and self-authority, while also being emotionally bonding and caring to them so that they can open up and be vulnerable and fragile as women when they need to, rather than be afraid to show their vulnerability and share when they need help or support. It is absolutely crucial for women with these aspects to find a partner with whom they can share their deepest selves and fears – a partner who is caring, loving, safe and emotionally mature.
The squares are the hardest aspects for Mars-Saturn, along with the oppositions. At their core is a feeling of guilt, as well as fear. Guilt invites self-punishment, and so it is important to deal with it, otherwise you may become self-destructive. The way you may be punishing yourself because of that guilt is perhaps through work and taking on too much that is not even yours to carry; or through constant worry, through feelings of lacking money, or through doing things for others at the expense of your own health and well-being.
There can be strong attachment to success, financial success and social status, and this may unfortunately detach you from your deeper feelings and feminine self, so be mindful of that. Place family and love before work.
Subconsciously, when we are feeling guilt within we want to earn our way back or our value by doing more work. But that’s only going to create more guilt, more anger, and create more frustration and a sense of lack in our life. You have to make the decision to let go of this need to prove yourself, because you are already amazing – and you need to know this.
So for example, staying in an unhealthy situation trying to make it work over and over again, even though it is not even up to you to fix it because you are not responsible for other people – this is your subconscious tendency to actually prove to yourself that you are strong, but sometimes strength is in the ability to just let go and make the choice for our well being.
To heal this aspect you need to let go of these tendencies to hold yourself trapped out of guilt or do things out of fear. This can sometimes be a life we created where people depend on us for everything, where we take care of all the tasks and finances, emotional support for others, taking on too much burdens and responsibilities out of feeling of “debt”, as if we owe someone something, so we feel indebted to them to do it at the expense of our well-being. Remember: let other people take care of themselves, you are not responsible for everyone and everything.
With the square or opposition, your inner Mars may feel restricted in his full self expression because of some Saturn related things or responsibilities. You may be punishing yourself or limiting yourself or restraining your own freedom, because of all these responsibilities and burdens, and then it becomes anger that is trapped and internalized.
The way to stop this cycle is by tuning into yourself and your needs, and setting boundaries and honouring your boundaries, and removing yourself from situations or people that make feel disempowered. Mars is released once we establish our own relationship to guilt. This is because we often feel guilty if we make a choice for our own happiness, and we often feel too responsible for other people.
Essentially, a Mars-Saturn square is about releasing ourselves from burdens we carry for others, because this aspect basically creates the belief that if we controlled the situation, i.e. took charge of everything and everyone, we’d never feel fear or powerless again the way we felt in the past. But the only way to be with a strong real man whom we can respect (because this aspect can cause us to deeply resent and disrespect someone who just didn’t step up and put in the effort) is to allow the man to show us who he is. If we treat them like little children, they act like little children. If he can’t step it up – he can’t and that’s that – move on and don’t settle.
One of my clients had this aspect, and she was dating a man who basically told her that he couldn’t be a man because she was in her masculine energy. So if this happens to you, you need to remove yourself from this so-called “enlightened” man, who read some spiritual memes and now he things a woman is responsible for his lack of maturity. So let me say this directly: If a man is in his healthy mature balanced masculine energy, the woman will inevitably fall into her feminine energy. But if he is making excuses for his actions or lack of maturity, and placing the responsibility onto you, you need to recognize this for what it is, i.e. immaturity and lack of responsibility. And now, it is your responsibility to make the choice that needs to be made, and find a mature man.
Another manifestation of Mars-Saturn aspects is the expectation that we need to work constantly or have a hard time in our work; like we might be constantly “struggling” or feeling like we are doing everything by ourselves, which may be true, but we still need to seek support and be honest with ourselves where perhaps we are not open to receiving support. And this is usually connected to the way the native’s father may have viewed and projected his own insecurities onto the girl; perhaps he only appreciated her when she was achieving high marks or rewards etc. This doesn’t mean her father was “bad”, it means he too probably had those aspects and no one ever taught him to be kinder to himself. With Mars-Saturn aspects, it is important to forgive your parents and heal your relationship to them, especially your father, with some compassion and grace.
A client of mine with this aspect married well, and her husband was kind and nice and she didn’t really need to work, but she wanted to because she felt guilty if she didn’t. So she started a blog, which became her obsession, and sometimes she wouldn’t feel inspired to write, but while her husband was at work and she was home alone instead of enjoying her time and taking care of herself, all she’d do is feel guilty all day that she wasn’t doing anything. And in the evenings, right before she’d hear him come in, she’d go in front of her laptop as if she was writing all day.
He never really expected nor demanded of her to write, but she’d even lie to him how much she did, without him even asking her whether she wrote on not. He’s ask her, “How was your day honey?”, and all frustrated and tense she’d reply, “Omg, so much work, so horrible and difficult, I am not tired.” Then out of guilt or this steel like persona she was playing, they wouldn’t even have a nice evening together doing out to dinner etc.
Eventually, one day the light bulb turned on! She realized that she was just replaying her early life experience and that her value didn’t come from whether she worked or achieved anything at all – she was loved, she loved, and it was perfectly fine not to do anything if she didn’t feel like it. That same evening, when her husband walked in the door asking, “How was your day honey?”, she relaxed on the couch and said, “You know, I didn’t do anything at all, just chilled out on the couch!” He smiled and said, “Well, perfect! Then let me take you out to dinner to this new restaurant we’ll wanted to go to!”
Not only did they begin to have a sweet time again, but out of this release of guilt and fear within her, and her newfound relaxation and reconnection to joy, her inspiration came back. With new found awareness, she did her writing too in the years that followed, not because she had to, but because she loved and enjoyed it; and it was never at the expense of her relationship and wellbeing.
With these aspects, there is often constant self pressure to do something, achieve something, and even push ourselves to the absolute unhealthy limit just so that we can prove our worth, or that we can do it. And sometimes we might even keep choosing the hard way, just because we had to do things the hard way before – and if it’s easy, we are not good enough; or if we aren’t working and being bosses, we aren’t worthy to be loved.
As I mentioned, with these aspects some women can have what’s called a father wound. One way to heal this is by first realizing it, bringing awareness on what shaped your beliefs and behavioural patterns. You need to stay in awareness not to repeat the same old patterns. Try to recognize the good qualities of your father or father figure, so that you can choose a different and wiser application of the energy.
Try to have compassion for him and forgiveness, because outside of their role as our parents in this life they too are only human; and once upon a time they were little children too who had their own struggles. If he was hard on you, he was probably much harder on himself and suffered some abuse or humiliation in his own childhood. It is very difficult for men to speak on these things and experiences, or even realize them, because of the way they were raised or taught what masculinity means.
Having compassion for him will help you have compassion for yourself, because these aspects as aspects within you. If we villainize these aspects, we are essentially villainizing aspects of ourselves, so be mindful of how you refer to Mars and Saturn, and deepen your knowledge on the wholeness of these planets and energies; the truth is that both of these offer immense wisdom and spiritual initiation.
As for your father, consider that he was probably going through a really difficult inner experience, and back in the day people just didn’t even have the tools for self-awareness or therapy; and parenting was just a lot different back in the day, and so, many children i.e. our parents and grandparents, grew up in homes of little emotional nurturing, understanding and affection.
Mars-Saturn aspects give you amazing endurance and perseverance, and this is purposeful, because it inspires others on your path. You become a walking inspiration of strength. For some women, these are protective aspects, especially if they have a softer natal chart with harmonious Venus and Moon, and they may be already too giving to others, very kind and tender; so as a blessing of protection, the Mars-Saturn will push them to be discerning and set boundaries when needed, and stand up for themselves, so that others don’t take advantage of their kindness.
One of my clients has the conjunction, and the rest of her chart is so sweet, so soft, so harmonious, and truly, she is one of the most angelic looking women I’ve seen. So this aspect serves as a protection for her, and has even saved her life through some of the difficulties she’s faced, and has given her the strength and courage of soul to walk away from unhealthy situations and create the dream life of creativity and love she’s always wanted.
In general though, if you have other harder aspects, you need to be mindful not to push yourself too much and to also look for the path of least resistance. This is sometimes a Jupiter path, or Venus or Moon, depending on your chart. Be like water. Flow like water. Follow the joy and where it takes you, and connect to your body and feminine embodiment. A client of mine with the square is actually a surf boarder; so she follows the waves. Another one is a fashion designer – she follows the thread. You are here to create beauty and flow, by also having the skills needed to persevere and endure.
Balance is key always, but also, shifting your beliefs that everything needs to be difficult or always taking the difficult path. Follow the ease, the waves, the river. Take time to relax daily, and not do anything and feel okay with this. Relax your body, release tension from your shoulders, do hip opening exercises, and massage your body before bedtime. It’s important for your body to feel relaxed because it may be holding a lot of pressure and tension, even if you think it’s not, because you’ve gotten used to it.
Love heals everything. And these aspects too are healed with love. Compassion, gentleness, tenderness, water … this is how you soften the hard, and how you soothe the heart and soul and skin. These are the waters of the feminine energy, of Venus – the way ocean waves soften even the hardest edges of stones on shores. This is the path. Light in step, soft in touch, gentle in words – towards self, and towards others. Open your palms, relax your shoulders, trust.
Have fun, be playful, be silly and frivolous, and even irresponsible sometimes! Don’t focus too much on work at the expense of your own softness and gentleness as a woman. Allow yourself to be swept away in romance and passion, take risks in love if your heart and body truly desires it, and find someone in whose arms you can release some of your control; choose a man whom you can trust with your life and who supports you and is emotionally connected to you. Don’t settle for a page nor a knight, darling woman, because you are a queen and thus, you need a king.
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Cover art is by Margarete Petersen, all rights reserved to the artist.
