Love is about freedom within our bonding, and it is about accepting and supporting our unique selves; it is about giving our beloved the wings to fly in the way they need to, and loving all parts of them, wild, free and beautifully charmingly untamed. This is how fires keep burning through the years.
As an astrologer, Uranus inconjunct aspects, particularly to the natal Sun, Venus and Ascendant, have always fascinated me, as they give tremendous creative and innovative abilities. They make a person highly creative, individualistic and free minded, which in our world today is, at least in my opinion, a very beautiful and rare quality. It takes great amounts of courage and strength to keep yourself free in mind and in spirit, and to be your true unique self, when all around us almost forces us to be like everyone else, a box, a category, an algorithm.
What are inconjunctions?
Aspects in astrology are perhaps one of the most important part of any natal chart. An aspect shows a connection made between planets and the relationship they have formed together; and it also shows how the energy of each planet changes as a result of the relationship. For example, a Gemini Sun in a hard aspect to Pluto will have a Scorpionic undertone.
An inconjunction occurs when two planets are 150 degrees apart. For example, 7 degrees of Cancer can be inconjunct either 7 degrees of Sagittarius or 7 degrees of Aquarius.
Most people do not pay much attention to inconjunctions but the truth is that they truly are very important and shape a native’s personality quite a bit – and perhaps even more than other aspects since they are powerful undercurrents that often remain unnoticed. And as we know, all that stays unnoticed or unconscious has greater power over us.
Inconjunctions allow opportunities for a deepening. They allow the soul a way towards expansion in a way not much else can. And at the very least, they teach us ways of approaching differences in life, and settling our relationships into more harmony and balance. This is because inconjunctions are essentially relationships between two planets whose energies are quite different – they have different languages, way of expression, and each has its own established way of doing things, so it isn’t about blending together, nor changing one another, but rather it is about finding harmony respecting the individualities of each one. Just like love.
Inconjunctions show us how we can live with contrast, contradiction and the complexity of nuances; they show us how we can be more tolerant towards those whose opinions or view points are much different from ours. Open communication is key, as well as learning about and meeting each other’s needs. Inconjunctions aren’t about “blending”, they are about accepting and learning to co-exist as they are in their unique self-expression, while being mindful of each other.
To navigate through an inconjunction is like in any relationship between two people in life: we need to have open honest communication, accept our individuality and uniqueness, learn and re-learn what each other’s needs are, and be honest in voicing and honouring our own needs.
Leaning into creativity is a beautiful way to navigate through the energies. You have to find a way to live with these two, and instead of forcing them to be together, you need to just allow them the space they need to be themselves freely yet respectfully of the other.
Natal Venus Inconjunct Uranus
In general, natal Venus inconjunct Uranus shows a person who has a deep need to connect, to be intimate, to commit, while simultaneously needing freedom and space from that very person they desired. In your adulthood, you might have longed for a soulmate but as soon as you get that deep bond, your feet start itching and your soul needs space. But once you get your space and freedom, you then begin longing and reminiscing about the affection of another. So in this life, you walk of path of exploring and understanding how freedom and intimacy weave in and out and of themselves – and that they are not mutually exclusive but in fact, can co-exist together in a creative and fulfilling way.
Depending on the sign of your Venus, you might be a person capable of wholehearted and deep devotion, beautiful expressions of your love and affection, and your partner will see you as a dream come true. But if you don’t give yourself the space your soul needs – like going for a walk by yourself, watching a movie by yourself or even going on a trip by yourself – you may start to become restless, impatient, annoyed, frustrated, even angry, and generally detached. In your partner’s eyes – they might think that you’ve stopped loving them and they might feel isolated from you or just plain confused. And in your mind – you are confused too and perhaps very hard on yourself swimming in endless waters of “what’s wrong with me” along with the added self-blame and self-guilt. You are actually an amazing partner in committed relationships because you are passionate, exciting, inventive, creative and you probably know how to keep the fires burning for your partner even after many years.
So before you label yourself, and wrongly categorize yourself, as someone with a “fear of commitment”, you need to understand that –
you don’t need freedom from relationships, you need freedom within relationships.
Firstly, you need to acknowledge your need for freedom and having space for your creativity to shine because this aspect makes you incredibly creative. You are, in many ways, a creative genius! The energy within you is strong, powerful and you can really create some amazing things in this life inspiring everyone around you. Secondly, you shouldn’t stay away from relationships, as it is actually the intimacy from relationships that brings out your inspired creativity. But what you need to do is find the right one for you.
Sexually, you need someone who is willing to be adventurous and spontaneous, and interested in trying new things or new places rather than being stuck in routine. Routine is boring to you and will not satisfy you. You need a partner who is curious and pays attention to you and is devoted to you and re-exploring you through the years; someone who is willing to re-discover you and all your shades no matter how long you’ve lived together under the same roof, rather than someone who just assumes things about you and doesn’t pay attention to you. This is not just sexually, this is about the way love is expressed also – you need romance, you need flirtations and courting no matter how long you’ve been together, you need some excitement in the way your partner expresses their affection for you because you yourself will have changing ways of expressing your love and affection. Uranus will always demand some newness and a spark to keep the fires and excitement and passion burning, so you need to honour this side of yourself and approach love and life with curiosity, and the openness of the beginner’s mind. Stay playful and creative.
You need a partner who understands your needs and the many nuances of your inner world, and who is also willing to learn, re-learn and re-explore you throughout the years. You need a confident and emotionally mature partner who will give you plenty of consistent love and affection, and also even encourage you to take your time and space whenever you need it. Stay away from people who are controlling, jealous and insecure as they may “put you on a leash”.
This aspect is also supporting you in walking away from relationships you have outgrown or from those not good for you anymore – as it gives you the courage, free independent mind and self-sufficiency that many people just don’t have.
Part of the reason why this inconjunction may have formed in childhood is because on some level you were led to believe that love is unreliable. This might have happened because one or both of your parents weren’t consistent in showing you love, care and affection. Another reason for this aspect may have been that you grew up with a controlling parental figure or in some controlling environment. Or it could also be that this aspect is essentially protecting you in some way relative to other aspects in your chart. Perhaps without such a strong independent and courageous spirit you would have had the tendency to stay in unhealthy relationships for too long or chosen the wrong partner for you repeating some old karmic pattern. This aspect is also supporting you to remain true to yourself and step into your creative talents and powers.
To soothe the energies you also need to give yourself the freedom to realize that love is something that doesn’t fit definitions or boxes, and that there are no shoulds or musts. There is no right way to love and live – what matters is to feel comfortable and fulfilled regardless of whether others understand you or how your way might seem to them. It’s okay to have an independent spirit, wild like the moon or an adventurer, and then come home and cuddle with your lover in front of the fireplace being the ultimate homebody. Love too is a wild free thing, often times even rebellious as it paves its own unique way breaking away from conditions, boundaries and limitations.
The right partner for you will also be someone who can give you the stability of loving you despite your unexpected sparks and need for freedom and space. When you are shown that their love remains for you, even when you are away from them, this will inevitably heal you, and make you even freer in your spirit and love expression, and you’ll be more devoted and loving towards them also. You also need someone who you can learn to rely on– as it is through healthy dependence that we step into our true independence. It is important for you to learn the humility of receiving and the vulnerability of asking for help too, as your “independence” shouldn’t turn into avoidance to be inter-dependent which is healthy relationships are based on.
A simple practical thing you can do if you are living together with your partner is actually have a separate room in the house dedicated only to you, where you can spend your alone time and indulge your creative side daily. Once you honour those needs within you, you will find that you are more devoted, more affectionate and more loving than ever before.
Any Uranus aspects usually have to do with the themes of free spirit, independence, authenticity, freedom, honesty, courage to be yourself and radical truth; and when these needs are not honoured we become rebellious just for the sake of rebelling or opposing, which is only the result of some restraint or our inability to be our true selves in the environment we are currently in. So it is up absolute importance to be surrounded by people who support us in our authenticity.
And if you are the partner of the native with a Venus-Uranus inconjunction, it is important for you to be honest with yourself, and then with them, whether you are ready to accept them as they are – because one thing is for certain, they are usually very honest individuals and they deserve honesty in turn.
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