We’re having a wondefully beautiful autumn here, so let’s today walk the relationship lands and the paths they can sometimes take through the understanding of the North Node and South Node aspects in synastry, also known as the Nodes of destiny.
To understand anything in synastry, we must first understand our own selves; because the relationship is that which is formed and born through the merging of both your energies and dharmic paths. This is why in the synastry readings that I offer to my clients, I first begin with you, then your partner, and then we enter your relationship lands, the dynamics and why you’ve come together, and what you may creating as you walk along your joined paths.
When someone experiences hard aspects in their synastry, it is usually a reflection of their own natal hard aspects; or, it is because this relationship has come into your life during a transit that reflected those aspects. This is why it is extremely helpful if you come to me for a reading to let me know when you came together with your partner, so that I can turn back the clocks and see what brought you together and the energies which infused your relationship.
When it comes to the Nodes, because of their destined threads and the importance they each hold to your own path in this life and soul purpose, relationships connected to them will show up when they are activated in your own natal chart by transit. For example, if you are going through a transit activating your South Node, a South Node person, situation or relationship may come into your life; and if you are having your North Node activated, then a North Node person, situation or relationship may show up for you.
To understand what the North Node and South Node mean in synastry, let’s first briefly into what they mean in your natal charts; and I’ve written about them in depth before, though please understand that astrology cannot be possibly boxed into one article nor one aspect, it all depends on all else in your chart and how it interrelates and interconnects to you uniquely.
The axis of the North Node and South Node, also known as Rahu and Ketu in Vedic astrology respectively, essentially show the path of your consciousness. These are high karmic points, in the sense that certain things will be happening for the grander purpose and scheme of your life and soul growth and evolution, so just a river, it needs to play its course, runs its natural flow.
People usually feel very deeply connected to their South Node placement, even more so than their Sun sign energy, because it’s a place of deep comfort and knowing; there is a certain familiarity or even a sense of home to its themes. The South Node carries a spiritual energy to it, so it’s not really something that we can touch as tangibly anymore – but it is something we need deeply in order to actually feel some stability within. This is why to understand the North Node and where we are going in life, we must first understand and balance our South Node and where we’ve been and what we need to feel some security within.
The North Node is something that will continuously will pull us forward in life, usually through powerful desires arising within us; it is when we become sculptors and shape things in our life, so it is meant to be formed in more tangible ways through our own skills, efforts and courage. Just like any new sculptors though, it will take its time to develop and refine and learn – so it’s a path of learning; and mainly, it is a learning that is somewhat unknown to us. Like any unknown land that we step into, we may make mistakes and we may even hesitate, because we usually prefer the comfort of the known – so the North Node is an area of our life that we need to develop and step into, but its learning will take time.
The South Node is sometimes described as a fish that continuously outgrows the body of water it is in; while the North Node is a boar animal which takes what has been out of balance or out of place and puts it in its place. When our South Node outgrows us, life itself will pull us into a new place that would be a better match for us and our consciousness evolution, to match our growth and new energy. The North Node is that which will take us out of the comfort of our kingdom, into the wild unknown lands, so that we can experience ourselves in new ways and learn and explore new things; otherwise we will not evolve much.
So this is why the Nodes are known as the Nodes of destiny. However, the simple truth, which is actually quite humbling, is that time goes by, the years go by, and many people don’t actually step into their evolution and North Node energy. The chart shows us potentials, opportunities, and while doors may open in our life and hands will extend towards our hands, we don’t always choose to walk towards them and hold them also. Soul growth and self development are ultimately a choice, and it is something we need to choose to step into and evolve through self awareness, effort and courage.
When it comes to our natal charts, it is preferable to see no planets conjunct nor square the Nodes – because this will show a smoother path forward and less karmic impulses. When we have personal planets conjunct or square the Nodes, this shows that there will be more karmic lessons, and the rivers will need to flow their course, and that any planet conjunct or square will be affected by the Nodes because the Nodes will always have the upper hand and shift the energy of any planet they are with.
Suppose you have Venus with your North Node – then your Venus’ expression and essence, regardless of her sign and other aspects, will carry the North Node energy; which can mean that you need to be mindful of addictions, carelessness and work on your self esteem and self love more than over-focusing on others, love and relationships and material things. The North Node can act like maya, and can put quite a bit of a veil around someone; so the native needs to rely on spiritual values and inner work, otherwise they’ll get lost in the wild lands of addictions and obsessions and ego-driven desires rather than pure heart desires. Having a strong spiritual core is key to developing your North Node energy healthily.
Having planets with your South Node will usually point to you needing to approach them through the “I don’t know” energy and the surrender energy. You may long deeply for those planets, but they seek in you to let go of expectations and desires of them and embody more of a spiritual understanding towards them.
As for squares to the Nodes, these are highly karmic actually, and show skipped steps in your past lives and path to evolution, so these are areas you’d need to go over and balance out in some way. Otherwise, they will keep showing up more and more until you pay attention to them. Squares are inner conflicts, but most people experience them externally through others and until the native realizes it’s his own aspects rather than blaming the other people or external circumstances, disharmony will continue within and the squares will intensify even more.
In synastry:
Nodal synastry aspects can often make people feel a sense of destiny, of we’re meant to be together; but the truth is that while these are usually fated connections indeed and important for both people’s paths and evolution in this life, they are not necessarily an indication of a forever love story nor will they last a lifetime for a marriage or relationship, unless the synastry is supported by other aspects that show longevity and soul connections supportive of both of your dharmic paths in this life.
South Node connections in synastry often show past life links, and many people leave their North Node relationship for a South Node connection, because, well, it’s hard to escape our past, there is an undeniable pull that goes beyond this life and it’s powerful, it’s soul recognition. Past life lovers will be incarnating over and over again and desiring to reunite; and depending on what was going on this may be a great thing, a not so great thing, and a pretty disastrous thing. When the karma balances, the connection naturally dissolves. Not all love stories are life stories, if they are indeed meant to stay together, we’ll usually see additional aspects pointing to longevity and aligning their life paths.
North Node connections are destined also, and karmic also, and are of the purpose to bring the North Node person into their North Node evolution. However, because the North Node isn’t an easy energy we’d step into, as I already discussed, most people don’t tend to stay in these too long, because usually the North Node person feels they need to mature or give of themselves more than they are capable of or willing to at the moment; or the planet person may just grow a bit too tired of giving and the lack of maturity from the North Node person may become too much to deal with. If they separate, it is usually said that they will reunite in future lives, and be able to re-kindle and experience their love story as a life story.
The North Node matures at the age of 42, so usually people may be more aligned to their North Node by then, but not always – it really comes down to how much inner work the North Node personal has done in their life and their maturity and awareness level, as well as their own relationship to their South Node and the planet with which their North Node is conjunct in the synastry.
In general – within the North Node synastry dynamic, the North Node person may be a bit too self focused or demanding; while the planet person may be too giving, until the day they feel drained and the imbalance of energy makes them pull away. To make this work, the North Node person needs to be more aware, mature, giving, selfless and attentive to their partner.
Within the South Node dynamic – the South Node person may be too compromising sometimes, because they come from some level of experience; while the planet person may be too demanding or taking. To make it work, the planet person needs to come from the humility that this connection has some history and deeper roots, and that in this life they are here to support the individualization of the South Node person; and what would help most is if the planet person devotes more time to their spiritual and inner growth, so that they can approach the relationship through that higher understanding, and be comfortable giving the South Node person the space and freedom they may need sometimes to achieve their new purpose in this life.
Let’s dive deeper.
Within the North Node synastry, the planet person will be essentially the embodiment or reflection of the qualities the North Node person intended to develop in this life as part of their consciousness evolution and desired destiny. So the North Node person will usually be quite magnetically attracted to the planet person and feel a sense of destiny, purpose, “I was meant to meet you.” The planet person will enjoy this magnetism and the way the North Node’s eyes passionate look at them, so they both will feel the attraction and enjoy each other. Venus-North Node, Mars-North Node, Moon-North Node can all feel very passionate in synastry and emotionally and even soul binding.
However, the planet person may eventually feel a sense of immaturity coming from the North Node, and if the North Node doesn’t really develop or mature or stays fixed minded and stuck in their old ways, the planet person may grow tired of this or just feel unfulfilled.
Because the North Node consumes into itself the energy of another, the planet person may eventually feel like they are always the one showing up but their partner isn’t; or they may feel drained, as if they are always giving but not really growing or expanding in themselves, or like there is imbalance between giving and receiving, which may also make them feel unappreciated. So with these aspects, if you want to make it work, you as the North Node person need to really be mindful of this and be more giving and show up for your partner in the way they may need you to also, because the North Node person may sometimes be just a little too focused on themselves and unaware or inattentive or even oblivious to their partner’s needs.
As for the South Node in synastry – the planet person will be feeling this connection more intensely, because the South Node is the one moving away from this, and learning detachment or release in some way, and while they too feel may a sense of knowing and comfort and they both feel “I’ve known you more than one life should allow”, the South Node is just in more of a detached space now and meant to move more towards their individualization.
The planet person may sometimes even feel dependent on the South Node person for whatever the energy of the planet is, however, they may also not really be able to receive this affection in the way they hopes they would. The South Node is usually someone who has already given a lot to the planet person from before, so they are now no longer in that space; and it is usually up to the planet person to now show up more tangibly in the South Node life and give more to them to balance the give-take.
For example, South Node and Venus in synastry shows that this could be past life love connection, and that the Venus was really in love with the South Node, and the South Node gave to them a lot also. But perhaps Venus didn’t really give as much or appreciated the South Node, or she took a bit too much without giving back, so now she may be the one longing deeply for the South Node where as the South Node is a bit more detached.
If the Venus person has natal Venus conjunct South node, his lesson is to learn to detach expectations from love and other people; and they need to devote their energy towards philanthropy, charity, helping others, because they need to learn to give more of themselves and come into greater selflessness and true love. Their main lesson relates to building their sense of self worth outside of relationships and focus on their spiritual development or approaching love and relationships through a bit more of a high minded understanding. They have experience distance in their relationship, for example their partner often traveling etc.
The same goes with synastry between South Node and the Moon – the Moon person may not be receiving the emotional understanding they need, which can make them feel misunderstood or not tended to. In the natal chart of the Moon person, if they have their Moon conjunct their South Node, it is because they may be seeking the feeling of a mother in their partner because they didn’t receive this affection in the way they wanted to or needing to in childhood. There may be some distance, and this relationship may be mirroring this distance and sense of “I can’t quite get this emotional safety and understanding”.
People who have their Moon with the South Node in their natal chart may have experienced some distance from their parents in childhood, whether they married young and went abroad or emotional distance. They often need to detach expectations from their parents, come into forgiveness and try to explore their parental relationship through acceptance rather than judgment. They are also meant to focus more on their individuality which is why they may feel sense of distance from others and family, so that they can self develop and learn self reliance through developing their spiritual core; but usually after the age of 36 their relationship with their parents becomes better and more fulfilling.
To make South Node relationships work in synastry – the planet person should be attentive to the South Node and approach them through their own spiritual growth, understanding that this connection will be more spiritual in nature, and that they can still be together but they need to support wholeheartedly and selflessly the individual and unique evolution of the South Node partner. If the planet person is able to have peace and acceptance with this, and support the South Node in their individual pursuits, the South Node will feel more relaxed in their connection.
Simultaneously, the South Node person needs to understand and be mindful that they may seem a bit too detached or even cold to their partner, so they need to not close off completely or just express themselves clearly, and still make sure they show up for their partner and tell them they love them; otherwise the planet person may feel unneeded and unloved and kind of pushed away or isolated.
If you yourself have South Node aspects in your own natal chart, and are comfortable and familiar with this energy, which can sometimes feel like a monk or recluse, then you will naturally feel more comfortable with South Node relationships. But if you don’t have many of these aspects natally, it is best to focus on your own inner world and develop the spiritual self; because the more you attach to the South Node person, the more they may pull away from you. These relationships can actually feel really beautiful and meant to be, comfortable, loving and warm – but only if you can both understand the spiritual nature of the relationship and give each other the space you each need when you want to focus on your own creative or spiritual pursuits, as well as support one another truly and unconditionally on your individual soul paths in this life.
South Node connections in synastry usually last longer than the North Node – and I’ve actually seen beautiful long term marriages with South Node aspects, where they feel like they are soulmates and live mutually happy together. However, again, it really depends on all else going on into charts of the two individuals, both in their natal charts and in their synastry. Synastry will reflect where you are on your path and why, and what your own relationship to yourself and your inner aspects is. From that self awareness forward, you may see how you may choose to walk in more harmony and mutual understanding together.
Through my professional experience working with many clients worldwide, Nodal connections are absolutely needed, purposeful and deeply meaningful. Whatever happens, these will be the ones you can look back to and say someday, “Oh wow, I actually learned a lot, this person was so important for me.”
Our North Node relationships are really important and key for our destiny and path of consciousness evolution. People do get married with these aspects also, and they find that even if they separate their partner was key for them to step into their higher purpose in this life and this is something to truly treasure and be grateful for.
If you had your partner’s Venus on your North Node, you were learning about what you value in this life and what your own values are, how to develop and sustain love and relationships, and how to deepen your sense of self worth and self love – you were learning all these through the relationship with your partner. Sure maybe it wasn’t always perfect, because depending on where your North Node is placed in your natal chart, you can see just how far you’ve come on your destined path and soul evolution.
If you had your partner’s Mercury on your North Node, you were learning about communication, openness and willingness to relate to others and learn through them also; if it was Saturn, you were learning about creating stability in your life, being responsible and mature and wise, and you were always learning about what it takes to perhaps make a family with someone or brave the weathers of life and create something long lasting; and it it was the Moon, you were essentially finding the way to your own heart, home, inner most sacred self, and learning about emotional nourishment, nurturing, faith and security, and what matters to you most deeply in this life.
Our North Node is meant to align us to a higher path, and for us to step into our true essence – for us to express ourselves in our freedom of self and authenticity. The desire coming through our North Node leading us on our path forward is because we’ve longed to experience this – it is our higher self guiding us toward growth and expansion in this life on our path to evolution.
Not all love stories will be life stories, and sometimes people separate; but how we leave a relationship matters, and gratitude and appreciation for how far we’ve walked and what our joined purpose was and what we learned from one another and how we showed up for one another can help both of you settle into the peace and harmony, as you then both go your own paths. I’ve had quite a few couples on the brink of divorce for synastry readings through the years, and I find it is very healing for them to have the closure they both need as they look back and understand the spiritual depths and purpose of the love they once shared.
No matter what happens, Nodal connections are to be treasured and grateful for – because in one way or another, in whatever shape and form, they helped you, just as you too helped them. Nodal connections are mutually needed, and this is why they are fated. Sometimes you wrap up old threads, untangle threads, or even choose to weave whole new beautiful fabrics for a new beginning to occur.
I have seen Nodal connections in long term happy marriages also, but they all had other aspects which supported their joined paths. You will also find that you share Nodal connections with your family members, with your children perhaps too, and with even astrologers or spiritual guides – if you have one you feel so drawn to, and who has helped you in your life to give you key insights. Or it could be a stranger on the street that just said one phrase to you, and yet this stayed with you or even changed your life or was exactly what you needed.
These connections are powerful and needed because they give us what we need when we need it. This is why when you are going through a Nodal transit, you will be meeting key people in that area of your life who will open doors for you and put you on the right path if you felt away from it. Things can feel messy or even scary, depending on where you currently are on your path and evolution, but trust these transit times because destiny unfolds; you are on the fate train, so it can feel like yikes, because we have no control over the wheels, but trust it – because it is leading you where you need to be for your highest good and evolution. Things will only make sense further down the line, perhaps even many years after.
This is the essence of the Nodes – to bring us where we need, to help us on our path of evolution, and to grow us, shift us, expand us, so that we can love more deeply, more fully, more consciously. It is all about love. It is only ever love.
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