“A relationship is like an ocean – when one partner goes through the big waves, the other is there calmer holding their hand, and when the other is then taken by the waves, the first is now there to hold them calmly. But no matter the waves, no matter the winters we’ll sometimes hold, no matter the unseen horizons and shores because we are just on the tail of whale for a while learning trust, we’re the ocean, we hold each other, hand in hand, holding on holding strong. Because in the you of you is the me of me is us, of us is love.”

~ Lubomira Kourteva, Art of Love

Today we’ll enter the relationship lands of love, as I guide you through some of my astrology ways in doing synastry readings. What is synastry? The word synastry literally means to star together or our together star; and synastry readings essentially explore the unique relationship lands and dynamics between two people.

There is you, there is your partner, and then there is the relationship, the “us” – a land shaped as your energies merge together and what you may create upon it. Like any land, the relationship too has its own unique soil, needs, desires, cycles and seasons, stars and timings, and the potential for what may bloom and come into fruition.

The art of synastry should always begin with understanding the natures of each individual – your dharmic paths, path of life, nodal axis, relationship needs and higher purpose, and your atmakaraka and darakaraka.

We then move into the relationship lands and we enter them through both the synastry chart and the composite chart. What is the difference?

Synastry charts put the two individuals’ charts on top of one another and see the interlinks and aspects – so essentially it shows us the every day dynamics between the two lovers, and how their energies blend and affect one another; it is the breeze that move them, the waves they move in, and their unique temperatures of skin to skin. Synastry is how do you affect me; what do I feel when you’re near me, when I think of you, when my skin touches yours and I smell your neck; how does my heart beats thinking of you, how does my body burn thinking of you?

A composite chart is the chart of the relationship itself – it is the soil, the us. When two souls touch and kiss, of their love a new soul is born: the soul of the relationship. Its soil, the unique physical, emotional and spiritual wildlands upon which the two lovers walk is the composite chart; and we enter into these lands to ask: what soil is ours; what is its climate, seasons, landscapes, streets; is it of dry lands and deserts, or foreign lands which will ask us to put in more effort to understand the language; is it full of mysterious caves which we need to explore and re-explore; what bodies of water do we have to soothe ourselves and swim in; how fertile is our moist soil, and what are we creating, what will come into fruition, and what is unlikely to?

The composite chart is often seen as the final outcome of the relationship and its potential for long term happiness and wellness; while synastry is considered for how the two people affect and move one another through their interactions.

For example, let’s say you have a hard Venus-Mars aspect in synastry, but in your composite there is a trine. Well, the tension by the hard aspect will be felt in the relationship, however, the couple will find creative ways to flow together and solve any challenges in that area. And even if they separate eventually, the tension from the hard aspect wouldn’t be the ultimate cause of the separation – instead, it was probably the trine of the composite that kept them together for as long as they were.

As another example, suppose the synastry shows a square Neptune aspect; then we know the couple will go through some disillusionment and deception or illusion; but suppose in the composite we no longer see the square. This means that these issues may be part of the relationship but will not affect its overall health, joy, fruition and longetivity.

If instead, however, the composite was the one showing the Neptune square, then we know that while these themes may not have been felt often in the dynamics or interactions, the difficult Neptune themes may show up unexpectedly from around the corner and may destabilize the relationship.

While you can soothe some of the synastry aspects with mutual emotional maturity, compassion, patience and self awareness, you can’t really fundamentally change an unhealthy composite, which is why the composite chart is often seen as the outcome of a relationship; and it is important to analyze especially for couples interested in long term relationships and compatibility.

Another thing that I personally do in the synastry readings that I offer my clients is that I pay attention to the darakaraka aspects in synastry, especially in what constellation, lunar mansion or nakshatra they are engaging.

For the composite chart I also consider it in relation to each individual’s nodal axis and what aspects it creates; and most importantly, I look at each individual’s Navamsa, or soul chart, and how the composite connects to it, whether it shares links to it for soul connections between the partners, and how it aligns to their path of life.

I also like to turn back the clocks to the time both people met and began their relationship, as the transits that each was experiencing gives hints to the purpose of the meeting and any additional energies that would have imprinted on the relationship and its soil.

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Cover art: On the left is a pencil sketch by my brother, who is an architect and a musician; and on the right is a photograph by me of my beautiful wild roses.  

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