“in the you of you is the me of me is us, of us is love”
~ from “The God-like Things” by Lubomira Kourteva
Every single one of our relationships in life are purposeful and essentially, they allow us an opportunity for a deepening. Often times they serve as a mirror; and this mirror may reflect qualities we should develop in ourselves more because we are inspired by them or see them more clearly now, or it may reflect to us aspects we do not want to embody in this life or we no longer want, or it may serve as healing, or catalysts for change, or, or, or. It is through our interactions with others that we can learn more about ourselves, and deepen in self knowledge. Through the way we respond to things, people and situations, we choose who we want to be and who not to; and we learn what qualities we seek and desire in another, so that we choose more wisely, and thus, experience more fulfilling relationships and intimacy. In a way, each relationship is a walk towards our true self.
While in this article I’ll offer you various indications for soulmate relationships through the lens of spiritual astrology and ancient mysticism, what these are at their essence are harmonious and healthy synastry aspects that one may look for in general, if they wish to align on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. For healthy relationships to thrive, we need someone who sees us clearly, who supports us and we are our true self with, someone whom we trust and connect to deeply emotionally. So whether soulmate or not, true love needs these aspects to breathe freely, be nourished and sustain.
A soulmate is someone who sees us clearly, and whom we see clearly also, and the love feels depth and encompassing and harmonious because we ourselves have come to a space of self honesty and are able to see our own selves clearly. There is more inner acceptance, and thus, there is more outer acceptance; and your vibrational frequency is now in alignment to be in union of that depth and harmony, and to sustain a love with someone who is of the same emotional depth, self awareness and soul growth level also.
So the way this would show up in synastry would naturally be something to reflect that emotional depth, harmony, complementing while mirroring, and very uniting in the aspects and energies, so that you create even more depth in your togetherness. For example, both of you can be water signs with a lot of water placements in your charts, and the water is the one uniting you even deeper creating perhaps a grand water trine.
Before we move on, let’s first dive more deeply: What is soulmate love?
Soulmate love is a love deep and true, as if from a time before time beyond time, when two hearts married somewhere beyond the stars; and when they meet again in future lives, there often will be an immediate recognition because of all the memories they still carry in their souls’ imprint. Soulmates are not to be confused with karmic nor Plutonic partnerships, as soulmate love is one of complete support to us and our true soul’s path – and while the passion is there, the relationship feels serene and harmonious. Soulmates help us along, so that we fulfill our soul’s purpose and they see us for who we truly are.
Our soulmate is someone who is very similar to us, an almost perfect and exact match to us on an emotional depth and spiritual level; and often times the two people energetically look alike, and it is obvious to people around them that they belong together. Their love inspires those around them and uplifts them too. Because soulmate love builds upon the foundation of emotional love, it is the beautiful eternal marriage between emotional and spiritual love. And when we meet our soulmate, it is an instant soul recognition – we just know. We know this is where we belong. Our soulskin.
In ancient mysticism and esoteric text, it is written that soulmate love is actually a very rare love, and not everyone is destined to experience it in each lifetime. This is because the love is so powerful, so overwhelming, so ecstatic and passionate, that they want to experience one another and indulge in each other and enjoy one another as long as possible, and a lot of other things take a backseat. That’s not to say that you will never experience a deep soul love with another in this life, and each deep soul love essentially becomes a future soulmate for you. It also doesn’t mean that you will meet soulmates in your life, because your parents or best friend or child could also be your soulmates – and they often are. But in this article today, we’ll be focusing on intimate soulmates.
Because of the nature of the relationship, soulmates meet when they are walking their true life’s path and when they have gone through their own spiritual growth and lessons in some way. After some karma has burned and peeled off, the energy lightens, we are more aware of who we truly are, and as such, naturally, we’ll be in a vibration that will attract to us someone who is also at that level of clear seeing, purity of love and walking their life’s purpose.
In other words, we usually meet when we have completed any work we should have done on our own as part of our soul’s intention. Of course that’s not always the case – sometimes soulmates meet early in life as this was part of their soul contract, so please know that when it comes to spiritual matters, there is no one way that applies to all.
And then, when we do reunite, we can also support one another in fulfilling our soul’s purpose. They see each other exactly as they are, and they accept one another exactly as they are. Together, they create a devoted sacred love life where they are unconditionally loving and supportive of one another – where they hold each other, they raise each other up, and they lift each other up. This is also why they feel like they are best friends as well, because in that beautiful space they share a childlike playfulness, and can thrive in their true essence, without judgment, without angst, without hiding.
Such sacred soul-deep bonds happen when we are aligned to our spiritual soul truth; they happen in an open, trusting space where we can truly show up as we are – clarity of mind, purity of heart, sincerity in action – and there is soul appreciation; there is honouring and acceptance for the other person no matter where they are in their life. The love is supportive and pure. They unveil their soul, their full self, and they reach the deepest of intimacy.
In tarot:
In the tarot, the card that symbolizes soulmates is the 6 of cups. This card expresses the state in which body and soul are purified, after the disappointments prior, so that we can engage and merge once again in a dance of pleasure, emotional depth and spiritual renewal. There is love in this card, there is passion, there is romance, there is harmony and serenity, there is deep understanding and acceptance, and there is the purity of heart and friendship, so that we are truly who we are around each other. This is what soulmate love is. We also see the past life continuation and the thread that connects their souls through the esoteric symbology of the card.
Often times, when a psychic pulls this card for you, they will say: Your soulmate is looking for you and coming. This is a confirmation that what you are looking for is also looking for you.
Are there any astrology indicators of soulmates?
Beyond the degrees and charts and lines and stars, are our souls’ paths and hearts, so of course, not all can ever be seen nor captured through astrology. However, there are certain indicators in astrology that show the aspects of the soulmate energy.
To begin with, in Japanese mystical texts, soulmates are usually of the same zodiac element. So, if you are a water sign, they will also be a water sign, or have significant planets in water, because essentially, this is what will unify you.
Because soulmates are very similar on an energetic and emotional level, they might also have some mirroring aspects in their charts, for example, both may have stelliums in their charts, whether in the same house, opposite house, or mirrored house. For example, if you have a water stellium in your 3rd house, they might have a water stellium in their 11th house. This shows that you have both walked quite a similar path in life, you are of the same emotional level, and so you can harmonize on a soul depth also.
Remember that while soulmates share past lives and will naturally have some karma from these past lives, their relationship is not defined by the karma, nor has it come together through a karmic tie or karmic rope.
Because they share a very deep friendship, and become their absolute best friends, we will see very harmonious aspects between their Mercury, Moon, 3rd and 5th house rulers. They are playful with one another and accepting of their quirks, because they feel safe enough to be their true silly selves without fear of judgment.
While as with all other relationships there will be difficulties, soulmates are just better at settling them into peace, moving through conflicts and misunderstandings with more compassion and patience, and just working things out more healthily. Part of that is their harmonious communication, and willingness to let go of selfishness and consider the other person’s feelings and perspectives.
We all have different inner worlds, and it isn’t about being the “same”; there will always be things we may not know in our lover, parts of them that will forever stay hidden or wild or unknown, and that we may not even understand, but there is a deep acceptance of this, and a deep embrace for their true self.
In esoteric astrology, it is observed that the synastry of soulmates usually has significant moon aspects, North Node aspects, many planetary conjunctions, and some oppositions too (especially with the 1/7 axis), but more than anything the synastry is deeply harmonious, because soulmate love is harmonious love. Our soulmate is someone who is strongly energetically and even telepathically connected to us, and there would be common themes throughout their lives. They are a beautiful match to us on all levels, but especially emotionally. They just deeply feel each other, and understand each other empathically.
For example, soulmates often have Mars conjunct Venus because these are the inner beloved, the yin and yang, of our natal charts, and this conjunction shows the amazing long-lasting passion that the two soulmates share. There might be some Saturn too, whether trine, sextile or even conjunction, just to show some longevity and commitment to your relationship; but even if it is a Venus-Saturn conjunction showing your past lives link, it will not be further burdened by other difficult aspects, and it will be rather supported by trines and/or sextiles from other friendly planets.
Squares and oppositions to Saturn and/or Pluto usually show karmic relationships, and you need to pay very close and special attention to the nakshatras of your Moon signs – as they may show karmic ropes, and these are certainly not soulmates despite their intense attraction. Karmic ropes can be actually quite damaging, and you should know that you do not have to stay in them – it is never your karma to stay in anything unhealthy and toxic, and you are free to leave and unhold your hands from the karmic wheel.
Some astrologers pay a lot of attention to Sun-Moon conjunctions, but I have not found this to be “an absolute must” – although you surely need harmonious aspects with these two, whether trine, sextile or conjunction, because it is one of the aspects showing emotional understanding and blending of energies. Please remember that it isn’t just one aspect, and that all is to be taken together and blended together, because all depends on all else.
The North and South Node may also be observed in the synastry because of the soul path support nature of soulmates – for example, through conjunctions with the Moon, Venus and Mars, or lords of the 7th house, or conjunct the 1/7 axis.
The 7th house and the 1/7 axis are really important here – so look for conjunctions. For example, one person’s Venus, Moon or North/South Node falling into these axis. Asteroids Eros, Psyche and Juno may play an important role also. Our 1/7 axis shows the higher purpose of our relationships in this life, and our soul’s mirror on our life’s path.
And you should also look at your darakaraka and atmakaraka connections, because these show your soul’s desire and the mate (spouse) of your soul or mirror in this life. For example, your atmakaraka falls into their 7th house i.e. your soul’s desire aligns to their soul’s desire for marriage and deepening of self through intimacy; or your darakaraka falls on their ascendant i.e. what your soul needs and seeks in a marriage partner is how they look and where they are seeking to go in this life.
The 9th house lord is also important because this shows our higher path and dharma, and the gifts from past lives also – and it is the house from which our soul’s desire for marriage itself stems; so it is important to have flowing and harmonious aspects. For example, maybe your 9th house is in Taurus, and your soulmate’s ascendant is in Taurus; or their Venus (ruler of their 9th house) conjuncts your 7th house lord.
The 8th house and its lord are also significant because this shows the sexual attraction between them, though remember that the relationship isn’t dramatic nor erratic, the primal passion is supported by a feeling of serenity and peace and the ability to be who they truly are. The 8th house is a house of intimacy and it also shows what happens after marriage – the gifts and lessons – so look for harmony there, while depth also. The 8th house is also where we begin to create our karma and dharma with whomever we involve ourselves with sexually; and it also shows the inner spiritual transformation as well as the trust and ability to be vulnerable, and how this intimate bond affects us energetically – so it is an important house to analyze. Sexual energy for soulmates is creative rather than destructive which means that they inspire each other to create more in this life and expand more in all ways; and to be their best selves. They are certainly addicted to each other sexually, which is why Mars and Venus are important, but there are no issues about fidelity or needing to create drama to re-kindle their passion or prove that they are worthy of one another.
Often times Plutonic relationships or karmic ropes/ties are confused for soulmates because the initial soul recognition and primal passion are just as intense, just as unstoppable and just as undeniable. While Pluto may still play a part in soulmate synastry though, the intention of soul growth through more harmony and support rather than destruction. Plutonic relationships and karmic bonds cause soul growth, and soulmates cause soul growth also, however, for the former it comes through a very high price. They are often toxic, unhealthy, co-dependent, turbulent, and extremely painful – all of which are not part of authentic soulmates.
While it is true that even soulmate relationships in their earlier phases will face difficulties, and of course all intimate relationships and marriages have obstacles and face hardships, they are not defined by intense power struggles, painful yearnings, abuse, toxicity, and co-dependency like Plutonic or karmic relationships are. Furthermore, Plutonic relationships always have issues and themes of fear and control; they are attractive and destructive, and feel almost impossible to leave, which makes them addictive and causes people to be completely immersed in them.
Because of the intense passion that is felt in the Plutonic relationships, people believe that it must be a soulmate relationship – because what else could that overwhelming passion be?
But intensity and love are not the same thing. Plutonic relationships are defined by the demanding, controlling, possessive and primal part of love, and while soulmates also have a primal passion that is beyond what one will ever comprehend unless they’ve experienced it, it is a kind of love that raises us in ecstasy, rather than limits, imprisons or destroys us; and like I said, even though soulmates may too experience struggles or power plays sometimes because of the mirror aspect, their relationship is not defined by them.
And so – soulmate synastry will have some Pluto aspects in their charts, both hard and soft, because there will be soul growth and some transmutation also. However, their overall relationship isn’t defined only by the Pluto aspects, which is what makes it different than a pure-based Plutonic or karmic relationship. They will have complementary and harmonious aspects to Pluto to support them.
Moreover, it is believed that soulmates will also share many common characteristics and themes throughout their lives. This is because they are energetically and telepathically strongly linked. For example, maybe both of them are night owls, or are more active during the night, or have the same way of expressing themselves energetically in specific situations. They will also share similar experiences during the same times or years, for example, maybe both of them lived in different countries during their teens. There is also a high chance that you have felt them throughout your life because of the soul memory imprint, and particularly if both of you are more attuned to your clair senses. And if both individuals are more soul developed, we’d expect to see some psychic or extra-sensory indications.
Physically, they may be different from one another, for example, one of them is light haired, blue eyes and the other is dark haired, dark eyes; and yet they look almost exactly alike. For example – they have similar manners and movements, and when they smile and laugh, it’s like it’s the same person, or they just finish each other’s sentences and their aura and overall energy are very similar.
There could be an age difference, or difference of social class/status, or just something that is a little unconventional, in order to move past a societal boundary towards an unconditional love, and be an example for other people, in addition to breaking their own judgments and biases; or to help one another on their soul’s path. For example, one could just be starting their own business, and the other is already ahead of that, so they could help them with their goals and dreams. Remember that soulmate love is supportive.
Soulmate love is also deeply healing. So for example if you still have some fears around opening up or trust, you soulmate will give you that soothing space within which you can open up. This is different from karmic relationships, which will bring out those lessons for you to face in harder ways, rather than heal you through their presence. Obviously, karmic relationships are needed and purposeful in our life, and this is why people go through them before they meet their soulmate sometimes – because they need to first peel off the layers of themselves and face their own selves. They also need to grow into self love and realize what they want and need, to walk away from what’s not good for them, to do their soul growth and settle into their true selves so that their soulmate can reunite with them. Often people fear being alone and want to hurry it all up, but you need to truly know what you want and through your actions and your way of life, align to that heart’s desire. If you want a loving supportive emotionally deep partner, don’t settle for someone who isn’t that way. Hurry is a sign of fear to our body, so try to remember that what’s meant for you will find you; we can never stray too far from who we are.
How does it feel?
When you meet them it feels like a belonging, a home, like a long lost part of you is finally in your arms – like a sense of peace, serenity, comfort and relaxation that you’ve never felt with anyone else before; and yet a love so deep and passionate, it’s inevitable and undeniable.
Meeting them feels like home, there’s a sense of peace, serenity, comfort, and of inner knowing – like a long lost part of you is now finally with you.
There is a deep peacefulness that you feel in your heart, mind, body and soul when you are with them, and no matter how hard your day was, everything is now better just being around them. Their tone of voice and scent is known to you and very attractive; it gives you pleasure to listen to their voice.
You support one another unconditionally. You love one another unconditionally.
Things that would have bothered you in other people, or would have been deal breakers, are somehow more okay now – because you are more open and accepting of them, thereby shifting your own perspectives and biases. While any relationship will have its disagreements and even conflicts, you are both devoted to work through things and resolve your connection into peace again. And it flows naturally.
The growth and lessons you both learn happen easier and more rapidly, because there is love upon which you show respect, devotion and deeper understanding. You take care of one another, fully and completely, and their wellbeing is your priority – there is no selfishness or stinginess. You don’t feel drained in their presence, but instead – you feel peaceful, re-energized and inspired after talking to them.
There is a deep pleasure, there is a deep and strong devotion and loyalty towards one another, and unspoken vows as if you are already married and completely committed to one another. There is a deep passion and deep love that are mutual. The heart connection is strong and your entire being opens and expands when you think of them; you want to share every part of yourself with them. You know them as truly and as deeply as you know yourself. You see and accept them with clarity. You can talk for days and nights and somehow you don’t even get bored, you just want more and more togetherness, and you can play around and be silly; and even if you are nothing, it just feels great to be beside them. You are your true self.
No matter how hard your day is, when you see them or hear them, all is peaceful and soul-soothing. You take care of one another, fully and completely, and their wellbeing is your priority – there is no selfishness or stinginess.
The love at first sight that people talk about but rarely experience, is real for soulmates.
The love of soulmates that appears out of the blue, by synchronicity in one’s life, is a real blessing. It is a gift and we must treasure it for there is nothing more powerful than experiencing love at such a deep level. And it is mutual. And it is known. And it feels like home. The feelings are deeper than anything ever before, and you understand why it hasn’t worked with anyone else before; in their eyes you finally see the one you’ve been looking for, and in their arms, you feel unconditionally supported, as they too feel in yours.
If such love finds you – appreciate it, hold it, protect it, nurture it and tend to it with attentiveness and care each day, because even if soul meetings are destined, it is only our own individual everyday choices that would shape the relationship thereafter. And be grateful – because love is sacred, it is blessed and it is a gift, which bears the seed of God, which means eternal love.
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