In my last article Pluto in Synastry, we talked about the nature of Plutonic relationships and the purpose of them in our life, so if you haven’t read that already I’d advice you to do so – because today we are continuing on from that discussion.
Things to keep in mind is that no one aspect by itself is a “deal breaker” in synastry; and that astrology is only a perspective. Moon-Pluto square aspects are generally hard to deal with certainly, but that doesn’t mean you should walk out of that relationship nor put it in a box by the description, because then you’ll only limit your experience. Squares are tensions, and the only way to deal with them is self-awareness because they stem from our inner worlds, and so both partners need to be willing to self-reflect and be emotionally mature and open in their communication.
Any aspect in synastry shows the land upon which the two partners love and live and walk – because it is land built by their merging energies. So it is no longer “me against you” nor “me and you” – it is the land of us, we together, and so these energies will be inter-weaving and ever-changing based upon both our individual decisions and our mutual decisions.
Please remember that these are only general descriptions and largely dependent on the natal charts of each individual and where they currently are on their path, as well as the rest of the synastry. Also – since these are energies combined, sometimes the Moon person can exhibit the Plutonian energies more and vice versa, and dynamics may change along the course of the relationships or the energies may switch depending on the situation that you face.
We should also remember that Pluto is not some evil bad thing, nor anything to feel ashamed of, and we all have some Pluto inside of us. We will usually go through at least one Pluto-themed relationship especially earlier on in life because these are transformative and sometimes needed for soul growth. If you have hard Pluto aspects in your natal chart you will naturally attract these to mirror you until you balance this energy and heal it inside of you. But even if you do not have this natally, if you are going through a Pluto transit and meet someone and start a relationship with them, the experience of this relationship may be marked with Pluto from the start or the person may be more Plutonian in nature.
Moon Square Pluto in Synastry
When Pluto and the Moon meet in the relationship lands, all becomes magnetic initially. If you think about this, both planets are sort of hidden – Pluto is far away and always remains somewhat mysterious, and it is tiny, and perhaps even misunderstood, as at one point it was no longer even recognized as a planet. The Moon too is a tiny thing, yet powerful as all waves move because of it, and women’s bodies too speak the language of the moon. The Moon is always mysterious, as even though it is close to us it remains distant and who knows what stays hidden or breathes on the darker side of the Moon.
Both of these have to do with our deepest worlds and subconscious, our emotional wildlands and our hidden temptations and desires; and yet one of masculine and the other is feminine. Naturally, these two understand each other but in an unconscious way. And when the conversation is one of a square i.e. tension, there is misunderstanding when there isn’t self-awareness and open communication. There are also secrets, and unfortunately, there may be unhealthy patterns – but because the sexual and emotional attraction are strong, the two partners may be mistaking this to be a soul bond when in reality it isn’t.
So let’s say a man’s Pluto is square the woman’s Moon. Usually this creates a lot of magnetic attraction and a certain level of obsession that he might have with her at first sight because of the powerful magnetic pull. However, if he is not aware or mature enough yet, or isn’t in touch with his shadow side nor in control of his urges or temptations, he might become obsessed to the point of becoming manipulative because of fear that he’ll lose her. Pluto rules with fear, and he touches our deepest subconscious fears. In many mystical traditions it is said that each person should be in the know of his little evil inside, because otherwise he’ll never recognize it externally and anything unknown will have control over him. In other words, you need to know your “sins” or lusts or temptations or shadow sides, because otherwise these are driving your decisions forward.
This square creates a deep emotional bond, and as we know, when we feel connected to someone so deeply emotionally we can become really vulnerable, and also we can become blind to things that matter and we should be paying more attention. This aspect demans a lot of self-awareness, because otherwise the two partners may hurt each other deeply if they are not careful with the way they act and react towards each other. They share a vulnerability that has opened their deepest selves – and this can be great of handled properly, but it can also become really damaging.
The Moon may often become very dependent and prone to being manipulated or controlled by her partner because of the intense emotions involved with this bond. Moon-Pluto square is very deep and very primal and very emotional. But – if the partners are more aware, there is nothing to worry about.
This aspect is really dependent on the nature of the two individuals – their natal charts, their personalities and their maturity and self-awareness level. If you have someone who is already prone to some controlling behaviours, and their partner is more vulnerable, with low self-esteem, or has their own unhealed issues with power and control, abandonment and rejection, then this square needs more special attention and care handling it as the discussed effects will be more prevalent.
If a person struggles with control issues it is usually because in their childhood they’ve faced significant instability or irregular affection from parental figure, or they were the ones that needed to hold the reigns because they needed to rely on themselves. To heal control issues often times a person needs a safe environment rather than perpetuate emotional instability or extreme polarities or have others depend on them to feel a sense of security or self-validation. So if you are the one feeling this, usually as the Pluto person, then you can express to your partner how you feel, and let them know that you need to feel more secure in the connection emotionally.
And if a person has issues with abandonment or rejection, they need to feel supported by a partner and someone who is emotionally healing and nurturing to them, someone who is emotionally mature rather than spend time with partners who perpetuate their insecurities and make them feel unstable; they need a partner who is clear in his intention and affections are consistent, and not someone who makes them doubt or is flighty; they need commitment and loyalty as these are the two things that one needs to experience in order to heal the feelings of abandonment and rejection. Usually the Moon person may be the one feeling this, and may have themes surrounding this, so they need Pluto to be more open in his intentions and not play games, as these can be damaging to their gentle nature.
You need to be able to trust your partner with your life – which means you need to be able to trust that they will have your best interest in heart and mind and action, and not take advantage of you. No relationship can ever thrive without trust; and every relationship rests upon the big three: clarity of mind, purity in heart and sincerity in action.
These are just some examples, but the point is that this square aspect will ask you to look into yourself and your relationship with these themes, and you’ll need to heal them so that the relationship can be better for both of you. This aspect can actually be really healing for both of you, and this is its higher purpose – but that can only happen if both of you are gentle with one another and approach the relationship with emotional maturity.
Another way that this square dynamic may play out is if Pluto withholds emotions or affections from her, or acts distant or unavailable, or is always late to things making her feel alone or not important or not a priority, or is always in need of help so that he keeps her close and doesn’t lose her, as she will inevitably feel drawn towards helping him and nurturing him. Being attached to him because of the love and bond that they possibly share, she will want to nourish him and love him and care for him, because this is her nature; and if she doesn’t, she feels guilty. She will often put his needs before hers, and perhaps even when she voices her desire to leave him, he will just bring her the stars and apologize and draw her back in; or make her somehow feel like she owes him love. Remember that the Moon is the way we love and nurture, and it is our mothering nature. Something to also know is that if the Pluto person has insecurities or fears or feels not good enough for the Moon, he will end up doing all these subtle yet manipulative things because he is unaware of his inner self or shadow side and wants to keep her at all costs.
The way Pluto works is that it makes us feel weak and vulnerable so that he can then manipulate us. So in a relationship dynamic, Pluto may create situations in which we feel emotionally dependent on him by making us feel unloved. And then we want to prove that we are lovable by him, and this dynamic becomes unhealthy.
Basically, when the two partners interact with this square, Pluto triggers within the Moon a sense of deep fascination for him – and even though the Moon might have had a feeling in the beginning that this is wrong, “dangerous”, or not good for her, she continues to feel attached to him like an addiction, and it’s a sweet addiction that is spellbound or feels like we can’t ever move away from it. This square may also then trigger the Moon in acting in ways that she might not ever recognize within herself – it’s like she is not herself anymore and is shocked at her own behaviour with him. Maybe she suddenly becomes incredibly jealous even though she’s never been, maybe she becomes manipulative, maybe she lashes out even though this is completely out of character for her with other people.
This is even more prevalent if the Moon is in a sensitive sign like Scorpio, which is already intense and prone to being deeply attached and even obsessed with someone and refusing to let go of the connection. This square to Pluto brings out tendencies that are extreme and the Moon may act in ways which are just completely not like herself. Often times the Moon may feel deeply psychologically disturbed by Pluto, and unfortunately in some circumstances this can create a trauma bond or emotional neglect, mistreatment and abuse; and the love the two partners, or either of them, might think they feel for one another is not love, but rather trauma bonding.
In the long run, the Moon person especially might even have given up her sense of self, because this aspect can create subtle unconscious manipulations within the relationship dynamic. In the beginning, the Moon might have felt or intuited that this would eventually be bad for her, but it’s this Plutonic power that takes over us sometimes, especially if she’s had been going through a vulnerable time at the time the two partners met. When we have been feeling really low in life, we might then attach to someone of this same familiarity to feel some comfort.
Can this aspect be worked out if it wasn’t abusive? Yes, of course. But this Pluto-Moon aspect requires deep inner work around the themes of power and control, and responsibility in actions because there is a vulnerability attached to it on a psychological and emotional level, and if the partners aren’t aware of this and how their behaviours affect the other, this may turn really hurtful. Respect and compassion are needed, and try to have more open communication expressing each other’s needs rather than suppressing things.
I know some couples with this aspect, and they seem to be happily married, so please don’t think that you are doomed if you have this one aspect. One aspect does not create the entirety. Every relationship will have its obstacles and hurdles, and we’ll always have misunderstandings, but if the love is pure and true, and both partners invest into each other and in themselves with clarity and intention, and have the emotional maturity, things can usually be worked out and settled into peace.
The higher manifestation of this aspect is mutual healing and an opportunity for a deepening as Pluto sheds the layers of ourselves to take us closer to our inner truth. Through their deep emotional connection, if they have other aspects in harmony to support them, they will be able to work through many issues together because the feelings and sense of connection and loyalty may bind them for a long time. They also share a deep sexual attraction, and this will surely help them also. When faced with problems that you can’t solve don’t hesitate to reach out to spiritual counselors or therapists – couple’s therapy can be great as it shows your mutual willingness and commitment to make your relationship better.
Pluto demands us to be self-honest and also honest with our partner, and approach each other from a space of self-awareness, maturity, humility and self-accountability. Remember that nothing truly yours can ever be taken away from you. So whatever Pluto strips off, it wasn’t in your right path anymore, it wasn’t true, and perhaps it wasn’t even real, and is ultimately freeing you of anything false, unhealthy and misleading. As I wrote in one of my previous articles Peeling Cinnamon, love is cinnamon peeler – peeling off the outer so that we release our true and sweetest fragrance. Masks cannot fall in love.
Everyone has fears but when we can voice them, and have the right partner with whom we can voice our deepest self with as they hold us in a space of tenderness and none judgement, we become even closer deepening our intimacy. It is about finding the right person with whom we can openly share with rather than be made to feel guilty or ashamed of our powerful and intense emotions and of our fears of not losing them, because it is absolutely okay to need someone and to fear losing them. And when problems arise, try to focus on how to solve the problem together rather than fighting against each other.
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Cover movie still from Gone With The Wind, Movie studio, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.