Synastry reports are one of my most favourite astrology sessions to do. As a relationship and intimacy specialist, I love to be able to help couples understand one another more deeply, deepen into intimacy, and help them re-connect if they’ve lost their way. I love to be able to offer them guidance on how to navigate through the lands of the relationship and settle any challenges into peace, greater understanding, compassion and harmony.
Venus conjunct Saturn is one of the synastry aspects that many couples fear and browsing the internet racing and scrolling through various articles, they might find themselves in hopelessness believing that their relationship is doomed from the start. But that’s not necessarily true, and in fact, Venus-Saturn aspects are very common for married and long-term couples, because Saturn is the glue that binds the two people together through time. It is actually very difficult for a relationship to endure and be long lasting without any Saturn.
So today I wanted to share my own insights on this aspect and how you can navigate through it with greater compassion and understanding. Please keep in mind that this is only general, and the way this dynamic may play out in your relationship may be different as energies have various levels of manifestation, and it is also dependent on other factors such as the other synastry aspects, your individual personalities, and the level of self-awareness of each one of you.
But before we move on:
what is synastry?
When two souls meet and fall in love, a third soul is born – the soul of the relationship. There is you, there is your partner, and then – there is the relationship, a land shaped out of how your energies engage and interact, and of how your inner worlds came together.
As any other land, it too has its own unique needs, desires, nutritive cycles and timings – and it goes through changing seasons and weathers and temperatures, while always continuing to birth new things and transform itself by the hands, lips and gestures of both partners.
Synastry puts the two partners’ natal charts together and allows us to explore this land and the dynamic of the relationship. Whether a couple is contemplating separation or divorce, or wondering whether to unite in marriage is the right path forward, synastry reports offer us an opportunity for a deepening of understanding, intimacy, and guidance on how to navigate through challenges and settle the relationship into greater peace, compassion and harmony.
In my opinion, and in my experience, there are no “deal breakers” necessarily, as long as the partners can put in the effort and are devoted to self-awareness – and, they love each other, and, they know how to love. As with our natal charts, anything can be changed and shifted through awareness – and astrology is one amazing tool for gaining that insight and self-awareness. What we choose to do thereafter, is only our choice.
Venus Conjunct Saturn in Synastry
As we already mentioned, Saturn aspects are quite common to see in the synastry charts of long-term relationships and marriages. I have yet to see a chart without such aspects. Saturn is the glue that binds a couple through the years, and no matter how deep the love is, it is Saturn that will usually tell us whether the relationship has the potential to be long lasting. Saturn is known as the father of time, and he is also the lord of karma.
Marriage itself is often a karmic contract, as it is one of our greatest ways to balance out any karma from past lives and grow on a spiritual level. In some Vedic astrology texts, it is believed that we marry our past life enemy, which is why the 7th house of marriage also rules open enemies. In Christianity, marriage is seen as a sacrament, and no matter what kind of a relationship we enter into – whether a marriage or a monastery – our choice to walk a devotional path is what will bring us closer to God, as we learn compassion, empathy and grow in understanding through another person, or many other people. This is also why marriage itself in astrology is also seen through the 9th divisional chart, or navamsa chart, because we are essentially disecting the house of higher values, spirituality and the ashram – because marriage is to be treated as an ashram, a temple, a church. Vows is what binds us, a ring is what encircles us, and it is life itself, when the future meets the past in the present, through which we can choose to grow spiritually. Relationships are never easy, they require a lot of work and effort, and a certain level of humility.
When the planet of karma Saturn meets the planet of love and beauty Venus in synastry, we see a very deep karmic link. The source of this karma are highly individual, and vary from chart to chart; and while many people might be tempted to dig into it, whether through past life regressions or astrology, my first advice is: don’t. This is because there is a tendency with this energy dynamic to want to know things, and control things. As human beings, we want to know so that we give ourselves some level of stability in this unstable thing called life – but everything beneath heaven is unstable, and perhaps this is why we have bodies – to give ourselves some stability. We were never meant to know it all, and we will never know it all, and the humility of this deserves to be treasured. We can barely perceive some little self-awareness and face ourselves and understand ourselves, let alone understand and be able to receive something from a past life. My advice would be to let it all unfold naturally, and just focus on the now and how you treat one another now.
The overall dynamic is one of responsibility, commitment, loyalty, and it’s a bond asking us to put in the effort. It demands a certain level of maturity.
Initially when these two people meet, there can be a feeling of instant recognition and powerful attraction, and things moving really fast. They might feel like they have finally found their soulmate, or even experience some deja-vu, like you’ve known each other before.
Overall, there is a strong sense of responsibility and loyalty, though at times there be some hesitancy in expressing feelings, affection and emotion in spontaneous ways. There could also be some underlying feelings of guilt, though this is usually because of the karmic nature of the aspect. There could be more caution in entering the relationship because both partners on some level feel that this is serious, this could be the it, the one, and not something or someone to mess around with. There could also be some distance or obstacles initially – perhaps you live in different countries and the relationship is long-distance, or it takes years to start off, etc.
Both partners usually feel a deep sense of wanting to have a family together, to get married, to have children, and they probably begin living together right away, or acting like an old married couple. I know couples who were quite flighty in relationships, not really into commitment, and who were in their teens, and yet upon meeting someone with that aspect, they suddenly started talking about moving in, marriage and family, even though they weren’t even 20 years old yet. This is a powerful aspect.
And it is powerful because indeed the two have been intimately involved from past lives, and now they are just continuing from whether they left off. They have karma to resolve something, balance out the debts, and to give to each other what they didn’t before. You can imagine that this may not feel as light and breezy, and after the initial passion fades a little, and the two come back to earth from ecstasy, the work begins. There is good karma, there is not so great karma, and then there’s “my beloved turned my very own rat from hell” disastrous karma. With every karma though, there are gifts and rewards also, and I discuss the blessings of these further down.
Because of the strong karmic link though, there are usually the feelings of owing and being owed which can a layer of feeling burdens in the relationship. Usually the Venus person is the one that may feel they owe the Saturn person, while the Saturn person knows that Venus owes them, and the problem may arise if this reflects in their behaviour or approach towards one another. Surely it isn’t great to be in a relationship with someone whom you know you owe, neither is it good to feel like the other person owes you because then you’d fear that they might get hurt as the karmic wheels balance out. Whether or not the two partners are aware of all this, there is a sense of responsibility that they feel towards one another.
If one of the partners is immature, or they meet early in life, the burden of how much responsibility they feel towards the other may be too much for them. They do share a love that is deeply felt and mutual, and it’s like they want to take care of one another, and feel self-conscious of whether or not they are at their best. As a side note, these feelings may be present for you even if you don’t have this aspect in your synastry – but met your partner during a Saturn transit in your natal chart.
If the Venus person is mature, disciplined, responsible and self-aware, and they love in a Capricornian way, they would actually enjoy this relationship right from the start because they seek this level of stability and loyalty – and Saturn makes them safe. This is also the case if the Venus person has Capricorn placements (Sun, Moon, Ascendant or Venus), or has significant Saturn aspects to their Sun, Moon, Venus, or they have Saturn in their 1st or 7th house, or aspecting the 7th lord.
If, however, the Venus person is not emotionally mature, or their way of loving requires more excitability and is one of idealism or a lot of emotional affection, this relationship may just feel like “too much work” or “boring”, and they may choose not to proceed with it. It will not be easy to move away from the Saturn person though because Venus’ feelings and love usually run deep and they may find it hard to forget about them or move on. Part of that reason is because of the karmic debt.
These bonds are hard to break off because of the karmic links, but also because the two partners fall into a level of over-reliance and have a deep sense of responsibility towards one another. Venus feels that this is the one and she owes her love to Saturn, so she begins to feel responsible for owing Saturn her love. Saturn feels a sense of purpose when he meets Venus, and yet feels burdened from almost owing her his care – there is a sense of obligation to care for Venus, which might make the Saturn person feel restricted or overburdened, or that the connection itself feels burdensome. Saturn can sometimes fall into a dynamic of teacher-preacher, or know it all, and having that subconscious karmic link of now being the one with the “upper hand” may be too much to handle. On the other hand, the Venus person begins to over-rely on Saturn for her love and being loved, and being cared for constantly while not necessarily always giving Saturn what he needs.
Keep in mind that these descriptions are highly general, and the dynamic may be reversed in some cases – and that it truly comes down to the two partner’s individual personalities and approaches to love. I have seen instances when it was actually the Venus person who constantly supported Saturn, and yet Saturn didn’t really support Venus in the way she needed – but in the way they thought she should be. This was mainly because the Saturn person was just closed off and had a lot of unresolved self-esteem issues, and they had their Saturn right on top of their Ascendant and their Moon in Capricorn opposing it; and despite Venus being loving and supportive all the time, Saturn wasn’t able to open up as much and support her in turn.
Saturn can seem at times too distant or cold or not open to receive the love that Venus longs to give them, and this hurts Venus. If the Saturn person has a lot of water placements or energy, or is more empathic, compassion, nurturing, understanding and open hearted, then this dynamic may not be as extreme because they wouldn’t fall into criticism and judgment of Venus. If, however, the Saturn person is critical, selfish and a bit more detached in general, then they need to be mindful of how they come across and try to be more gentle and accepting of Venus’ need for fun and open affection – and learn how to recognize the needs of Venus and support her in the way she needs.
This synastry aspect can be quite beneficial for relationships which are highly Uranus-based, or have a lot of Mars-Moon-Venus aspects – so that it gives some stability and balances out the connection. If there are two people who are more flighty and even erratic, this Saturn-Venus can give them some more grounding to build on.
Usually the Venus person has perhaps mistreated the Saturn person in a past life, which has led the Saturn to close off their heart and harden up. So in this life, hopefully, they come in with more gentleness and affection, and through being more mature and responsible, they are now meant to bring love and tenderness to Saturn – to remind them of love, open their hearts, and soften them. However, if Venus acts irresponsibly and immaturely, being self-centered, flighty, and unable to control its emotional waves and triggers (because they can usually go from 0 to 100 in this aspect), they will fall into old dynamics; and the Saturn person will begin to see them as unreliable and irresponsible, and begin treating them like they are little children, immature, and not even take them seriously. And because Venus is in love, and in my experience it is usually the Venus person deeper into love because they need to pay off the karma, they can get hurt because of Saturn’s coldness or distance, and think that their love is being rejected because Saturn views them as not serious nor stable. What Venus needs to do is become more emotionally mature through self-awareness, express its intentions and feelings clearly, and show its dedication to Saturn.
And what the Saturn person needs to do is compromise, lighten up and trust. The Saturn person needs to somehow let go of control, and release the attitude, or at the very least not show up, that they know Venus owes them. It can be hard for them to open up because there are residues on their soul memory along the stream of their consciousness, that this Venus person has somehow hurt them before or they acted without integrity and responsibility. The Saturn person should also stay away from criticism and try to accept the Venus person for who they are. The Saturn person should also understand that no matter how much they love Venus and how responsible they feel for Venus, Venus is not a child and needs to mature through own self-efforts. Don’t feel responsible for other people all the time, dear Saturn, and let go of the burdens and self-expectations you carry all the time.
I have seen many couples with this aspect and in one in particular – it was the woman who was the Saturn person and she was older than the man. She shared with me how she didn’t even want to begin the relationship with Venus because she felt like he owed her a lot and that she needed to “protect him” as if he was a child to be protected. It almost seemed like a past life sacrificial bond in which he had put all the responsibility on her, and it was still in her soul memory. The love they shared was deep and strong, but he had a lot of learning and maturing to do and unfortunately he couldn’t do that. We often forget but self-growth and emotional maturity demand a lot of work, time and effort and most people just don’t do it. Spiritual growth is not for the faint of heart, but real love too is not for the faint of heart.
But what I wanted to say through that example is don’t hold yourself back from experiencing love and being taken care of if the other person knows how to love you and take care of you in the way that you need. If they don’t or they can’t because of lack of maturity etc., then perhaps your lesson through this bond as the Saturn person is not to settle for something like that and use the discernment of heart that Saturn blesses you with to move on despite what you think you may feel towards Venus. In the example I shared, despite all the feelings he was telling her that he had, she just accepted that he wasn’t good for her in terms of maturity, and with love and gratitude for him and the times they shared, she moved forward in her life.
Often times I see Saturn in natal charts acting like a protector for the native rather than some restriction, especially in the charts of women. I see many women with Saturn in their 7th house not for the purpose to restrict them from marriage, but to protect them from those who may come across their paths to harm them or take advantage of their kindness because the rest of their chart is full of watery and gentle planets and soft aspects. So there are many different ways this can all play out.
In general, as a Saturn person, the reason why Venus came into your life was to open and soften your heart, because you’ve probably had so much to deal with and so many burdens to carry. Accept this love and let its joy wash over you in all pleasures. Venus is meant to make you more confident in love, more trusting and deepen your intimacy.
Because the relationship can fall into routine very quickly, playfulness is what will help it through the years. Playfulness is essential to our wellbeing as individuals, and it is also essential for relationships and rekindling intimacy. It can take various forms such as laughing, having fun together, being a bit more light-hearted and not take every fight so seriously, and continuing to flirt and tease one another. Don’t take each other for granted, and continue to court one another and bring in joy and new adventures into your shared home. Laughter is an aphrodisiac, and is needed in every relationship; just like self-awareness and emotional maturity, which are absolutely crucial for this aspect. Laughter is not just to have fun though – it opens up our entire body, relieves tension and stress, and allows us to be more open to receive. Essentially, it contributes towards paving our way towards re-connection and re-kindling the spark.
The karmic tie that binds you will be strong until it is balanced, dues are paid and the issues are resolved; when and how are irrelevant as it is best to let it unfold naturally. Once all is balanced, you might feel a sudden lightness and perhaps even a disconnect – because once a karmic tie is no longer, we may almost not even feel as attracted to one another any more. This is because what creates most passion in relationships is actually the unresolved issues between the partners and their own unresolved issues – which is the point of tension and desire also.
At the time of karmic release, more peace of soul sets in, and the sense of responsibility lightens us; and then it is up to both partners whether they choose to move on together or apart. I have found that these next steps really depend mostly on the personalities and maturity level of the two people. But it is quite natural for the two partners to separate as our soul always keeps wanting to learn more and grow more, and it does that through another relationship. But if you are married, and you still love another, there is nothing to worry about – and you should actually be happy to know that once karma clears on its own, your bond might even experience a second life – a newness that will enter, and it’ll be as if you are discovering each other anew.
As mentioned in the beginning of the article, karmic relationships can offer us beautiful gifts and rewards as well – and this is especially true for this aspect. Depending on the rest of the synastry, and the nature of the whole relationship, the Venus person usually blesses the Saturn person with teaching them to open and soften the hearts, and believe in love again, and be more trusting, and experience the affection and love of Venus – they help them feel more confident, loved and perhaps rekindle their believe in soulmates also. And the Saturn person blesses Venus with understanding the importance of family, and helps Venus to mature emotionally, and know what true love really is.
Love is a devotional pathway; and it is embodied through our lips, hands and every day ordinary gestures along the circling staircases of our lives. It is a witnessing of another person, paying attention to them, caring for them and accepting them for who they are. Love says I love you, I want you in my life, as you are, as it be, and just you as you are in my life is a blessing. Love says I am here beside you in the perfection of just knowing you.
Love is a cooked meal, a bringing you a tea when you feel sick, and asking you “how are you feeling”. Love is when we support someone and give to them based on what they truly need rather than what we want in turn or what we think they need. Love is a listening, a deep witnessing.
Love is an art, an exploration, a humility – that despite the many years we’ve lived together under the same roof, there will always be parts of one another that we don’t know because our inner worlds constantly change; and so, like art, like a painting, we’ll re-explore one another, we’ll ask each other questions, we’ll listen, and we’ll discover new shades as we approach one another through curiosity and openness. We’ll re-learn the kissing, the holding and the caring – not the way we did it like always before, but the way we need to and want to be kissed and held right now. And sometimes, perhaps many years down the road, like in any other wild land, we’ll re-learn how to make fire.
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