Today let’s begin with a question I received recently from a dear reader,

“I’ve had a special soul communicating with me for some time now; a sweet feminine soul wanting to come through me as my child, as my daughter in this life. Although I’ve been in a rather unhealthy relationship with my current partner, this communication, or the feelings I’ve had as a result of it, have inspired me to take better care of myself, my well-being, and to take the necessary steps to either improve my relationship or move away from it. My question is: Are my feelings real or is it all strange and false and only my wishful thinking?”

I’ve previously written in depth on this topic in my article Spirit Babies and Conscious Conception, which you are welcome to read as an introduction on what spirit babies are and how they may come to us. How I’d like to begin our talk, if you too have a similar question in mind, is that while there are many beliefs out there, I come from the belief that there are many worlds out there which we cannot see nor perhaps even ever fully understand – but just because we can’t see them nor understand them, this doesn’t meant they don’t exist. In other words: I do believe in spirits and that before a child incarnates, they may start communicating with us – either because it’s been a soul contract or because the soul has been attracted to us and chosen us as we too have chosen it on a soul level.

All this however may sound strange and even uncomfortable because even if we truly believe in this, people around us may not share these beliefs – and there also comes a time when we start to question ourselves thinking, “Well, maybe it’s just my own desires and wishful thoughts …” Surely it can be, and the fact that the woman is asking the question in such a manner shows that she is of the rational mind and understanding, being aware that not all we feel is intuitive or from the spirit realm – but that a lot of our thoughts and feelings are sometimes the product of our own desires and wishful thinking. I am not a medium – but there are good mediums out there who can certainly let you know if you have a spirit child in your aura already, and can connect you to it for communication. If you need one, please feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll refer you to the one I trust and know to be true and accurate.

What I intend to do with this article is to give you guidance on how to tune into yourself more deeply – and follow your own guidance – and then, further down the article, outline the phases of pre-conception and the many ways we may communicate with our spirit child, while taking better care of our well-being.

The first thing that I see and feel in the question above is how the woman has become inspired to take better care of herself, of her well-being, and take the needed steps to one day provide a more loving home, with a more loving partner.

Our well-being and being in a healthy relationship should always be a priority in our life.

The woman recognizes that her current relationship may not be healthy and this awareness shows her ability for self love and self care – and her readiness to finally make a change, which she should then support by real actions and clear decisions. This in itself is beautiful and shows me it is of pure intention moving in the right direction.

Many times when we ask such questions, it is to look for validation, and I am here to tell you that if you truly feel this in your heart, deeply and truly in your heart, then these are feeling you need to acknowledge. They are leading you somewhere good on your path indeed – because they are inspiring you to lead a better life and come into more love, more self care, more awareness.

Love is healing. And when souls, especially high vibrational souls which is what spirit babies are, come to us, they inspire so much love within us. If it makes us more loving, more kind, and more discerning to make better choices in partnerships and well-being – it is of love, and love must be followed. If it makes you feel good – follow these feelings. If you heart expands, follow these feelings.

Now, when it comes to spirit communication, one thing to keep in mind is that we are ultimately the ones here on this earthly plane currently, so if it is not the right time to bring her in, you can lovingly tell her that you want her, you love her, and you just need some more time to feel ready as you create the loving space for her. She will wait for you, so there is no time to rush. In the case that you feel the energy becomes too intense for you, you can lovingly ask for a pause and not be afraid to set boundaries. In the case that you feel the communication is not as often – don’t fear, as spirit babies float in and out of our aura especially in the few years prior to conception. She is still with you, know that.

Communication surely happens in many ways – it can be through dreams, through messages of others, through random songs or movies – whatever it is, it is unique to you and your spirit child, but trust that you will know when it is a message for you. Children and animals may also suddenly become really attracted to you – because they are naturally more intuitive and connected to the other realms, so they will see or sense the spirit baby in your energy field.

Now let’s delve into the phases of pre-conception, and then we’ll talk more about how we can communicate with our spirit child.

Phases of Pre-Conception.

Indigenous artist and childbirth educatorWakeah Jhane writes,

“Long before she was ever born … her first home was in my heart. When I was a little girl I knew I would have children. I did my best to live my life the best I could for them. To honour them. I didn’t always make the right decisions – but I was always mindful. He became my love, and out of our love for each other you were born. You became our love in physical form. First carried in my heart, then my womb, now you rest peacefully in our arms,  our everything.”  

It all begins in the heart, always. 

Art by Freydoon Rassouli.

There are said to be four main phases of pre-conception or connection to our spirit child – and it is essentially like the process of manifestation and of creation. Phase one is the child’s visible presence in our energy field. Its soul may be hanging around for years, long before we are even thinking about conception or emotionally ready to have a child. It can also be with us as early as our own childhood, if we have had a soul contract with it, or it may appear at conception. In any case – once visible in our energy field, it has chosen us and wants to connect.

The second phase is known as the pathway to the heart and this is when we begin to establish our heart connection, synchronizing heartbeats, which is described in depth further below in this article. We also become more emotionally aligned to it and begin to form an energetic stream from our heart towards its soul. This connection is usually created 6 months to 3 years before conception and pregnancy. During this time you are essentially creating alignment of heart, rhythm, and getting to know each other. You may even feel sudden strong urges to find a partner, or have dreams about your child.

Embrace this unique cycle and timing – it may flow in and out of your awareness and feeling, but don’t doubt it, allow it to be as it is. In this phase, you are blessed to be able to feel your baby and deepen your connection in an almost magical way. Further below in this article, we go into various ways you can communicate with your spirit child as I guide you through practical steps.

The third phase is the pathway to our mind – or the back of our head and neck. This part of our body is associated with the Hebrew letter Kof or Kuf, (ק), meaning holy. Kof is associated with the part of our brain, and back of neck, that are connected to intuition, and subconscious reactions such as sneezing. It is also known as the “needle’s eye” and I often think that it is through a needle’s eye that we can still see very clearly the distant unseen things, when our senses are sharpened. It is a human path we walk, through the gates of invisibility, and into the worlds of the all-encompassing, the truly meaningful, the worlds of love. This third phase usually begins creation from 3 months to 2 years before conception. For many people, the pathways both heart and mind happen simultaneously, or for some, the mind comes before the heart connection. In this third phase, particularly if you are highly intuitive, you can develop a strong telepathic connection. You may also start noticing changes in your thinking and even behaviours. Though many of these impressions are unconscious, they are actually coming from your baby.

The forth phase is of course, the pathway to the womb, which happens up to 6 months prior to conception. This phase is essentially connecting an energy pathway to the back of your body in the area of your womb or sacral chakra. Once this connection is build, it won’t be long before the woman conceives, even if she had not planned of it at all. In some cases, this pathway exists but it may take a year or so for conception to happen. While it is no guarantee that pregnancy will occur, it is certainly a great indication. Once you are pregnant (yay!) you will begin this new phase of connection with your child where your energies will begin to re-organize, and synchronize further both heartbeats and consciousness, as your baby’s consciousness will be flowing in and out of this portal. If you are more attuned sensitively, or have extra-sensory perception, you will know when your baby is close and inside your body. During the times when you don’t feel it, you might worry that something is wrong but don’t worry, you are only perceiving the shift of energy – know it is okay and it is natural for it to flow in and out of your body for the first two trimesters. It is completely natural for your baby to shift itself to the inner planes in early pregnancy – and its consciousness will come fully to stay usually in the last two-three months of your pregnancy.

Photography by Taylor McKay Smith.

Communicating with your Spirit Baby.

Once you’ve been blessed with your spirit baby, you can start communicating gently with it, so that it knows it is loved, welcomed, and wanted in your own life also. Remember that you have free will, and as it has chosen you, you need to choose it too. Talking to your spirit baby will build a deeper soul connection between the two of you for when it is born. As this is essentially pre-conception, your baby may be with you for years before you ever even met the man with whom you’ll conceive it.

How to talk to it? However feels true for you. You can try placing your hands on your belly, and either thinking or saying out loud how much you love your baby and want it and how many beautiful things are here to experience, like tasting chocolates! Incarnation is a scary process for the soul, so the soul needs to know it is loved, wanted and welcomed.

Spirit babies communicate through the subtle body, which is our intuitive body, so the more intuitive we are as women, the easier we’ll sense, and thus, understand the emotions and needs of our child.

As an example, try this: Rub oil on your belly, put your hands on it, and gently say or think,

for you my child, my body is open,

for you my child, my mind is open,

for you my child, my heart is open,

by earth, air, fire and sea,

in my arms you will be.

If you feel uncomfortable speaking with words, you can think this. Of course, words carry vibration and the vibration of sound is a powerful component of any manifestation or creation process. You can also dance, or watch beautiful things – remember that all these will, in some shape or form, imprint on the consciousness of your child.

When we pull in something during a manifestation process, no matter what it is, it always absorbs parts of us on itself. This is why some children have memories of things their mothers did years before they were even conceived – and their “tastes” or likes or hobbies can be traced back to the time their soul started floating around their mother’s aura and what she was doing, liking or doing as hobbies at that time. I know it may sound a little “out there” but again, I am only here to present my own perspectives based on what I’ve both experienced and learned. 

If you feel uncomfortable speaking with words, you can think this. Of course, words carry vibration and the vibration of sound is a powerful component of any manifestation or creation process. You can also dance, or watch beautiful things – remember that all these will, in some shape or form, imprint on consciousness.

In the old days, and still today in more spiritually aware communities, as soon as the woman decided in her mind and heart that she’d want to have a child, she would be told to be aware of what she watched, listened to, spoke, ate, read, and what people she surrounded herself with, as all of these carry their own vibrations, and imprint on the child’s consciousness.

There are many ways in which we communicate, not just with tongues and lips. The ways of hands, the way of touch, the way of movement, the way of scent and sound, the way of feeling and thinking, the way of believing – all these are unique languages and when we understand their messages, we become more conscious and build more stable and long-lasting bridges of communication. 

Synchronizing Heartbeat Rhythms.

Another way we communicate and we stabilize our connection is through synchronizing our heartbeat rhythms. Breath is important, and it is a way to communicate with the spirit realm also. Breath also tells us how we feel about situations and people – it fastens when we feel danger, and as babies we even try to instinctively “stop breathing” by crying a lot. When we want to feel more – we open our mouths and breathe in; and when we want to feel less – we stop our breath by breathing out, closing our mouths and shifting our heads away from someone. The beauty about breath is that not only how we feel affects how we breathe, but how we breathe will affect how we feel. 

It is a common belief that we breathe with our lungs but breathing is done by our whole body – and it affects our whole body, including our heartbeat rhythms. As we already learned in the phases of pre-conception, heartbeat synchronization with our spirit baby begins years pre-conception, while the child is still a soul floating around the mother’s aura. It is up to three years pre-conception that the energetic heart link between mother and child begins to be built and form. The way the mother feels, and the rhythm of her heartbeat, affects the vibration and eventual formation of the spirit child’s own heartbeat rhythm.

One thing we can do, and this is certainly for our own wellbeing as well, is start practicing our heart rhythm towards calmness and steadiness. We create our own heartbeat through our rhythm, and then, our heartbeat rhythm will become that of the child through synchronization. In this way, just by merely breathing slowly and deeply, in and out, in peace and calmness each day and night, we connect to our spirit baby – through providing a gentle, stable energetic link to it. While doing this, you can visualize your baby and think or say out loud how all is well, how much it is loved, and just be open to receiving any messages from it. The more calm and connected to self we are, the easier the messages may come. 

Rituals of Love.

And the last way you can communicate with your spirit baby is through, what I call, rituals of love. The word ritual essentially means communication, a way of language with that which speak the same language as us. It is an exchange of energy with the intention to build a deeper connection to it; it is an honouring of how your two worlds touched each other no matter how different they currently are. It is an acknowledgment that we have received and been grateful for the messages.

For example, in Shamanism, when we work with animal spirit guides, each time an animal shows itself and crosses our path as a guide, we would then give back to nature some food and care for it in some way. This acknowledges what we’ve received, shows gratitude and an honouring, and through that – a bridge solidifies between us, which will then become even stronger, with more powerful communication.

In fact, one of the key ingredients to manifestation are gratitude and joy. Dancing is a common way to express these two. Each time we receive something, no matter how small, which reinforces or inspires our belief and coming true of our dream, we can do a little happy dance! And since spirit babies are high vibrational beings, they love anything of love, joy, dance and creativity! The more, the better!

She Wolfe Tarot

I also wanted to share with you a beautiful story I learned from doula Taylor McKay Smith about the Himba tribe in Namibia. For the Himba, the birthdate of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they were conceived, but from the day that the child was just a thought in its mother’s mind. When a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. After she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child together, as a way to invite it lovingly into their life and home.

This is how anything is born. Out of love.

The idea of creating an offering to invite our child into our loving life and home, is truly a magical one. You could write a letter, a song, say a special prayer, create jewellery of sea shells or flower petals, or have a special place in nature where you dance imagining your future baby. Whatever your heart feels, open to it and let it. With love, always.

For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.

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Cover art by Susan Seddon Boulet.