moonpulled, heart-first i go into the woods,
like a raspberry leaf sewn into the mattress
~ from The God-like Things by Lubomira Kourteva
A few years ago a beautiful woman came to me for a relationship reading, and as part of my synastry readings I invite clients to share the day they first met. You don’t need to remember it exactly of course, but she did, exactly.
It was a warm evening in late summer in the Mediterranean, the raspberry bushes with lush with the fruits. And when I saw the first meeting chart I knew raspberry seeds were sewn into the mattress. This is a phrase from one of my poems from my second poetry book The God-like Things, which I had written long before, but I find it beautifully aligned to the love story yet to unfold in their relationship. You see, in old traditions, the wise women and family were gift dried raspberry leaves to the newlyweds to place under their bed on the first wedding night, to bless their marriage with sweetness of abundance, fertility, love, passion, longevity and fidelity.
When vows are made not only with lips, but with a soul yes also, they stay like echoes, memories, a sweet fragrance of raspberries. And here they were again, pulled back by the sewn raspberry leaves, into the room they once shared – now just a mere restaurant where they both found each other by chance.
On the night they met, the sky was blessed with a beautiful and rare water conjunction with the North Node, Jupiter, Venus and Mercury. This conjunction included both of their darakarakas, and was trining almost exactly both their natal water stelliums. Furthermore, at the time they first met one of them had Saturn transiting their natal South Node, and the other had the South Node transiting their natal Saturn.
Saturn holds time, stretches time, like the movement and shifting of seasons, which in synastry supports longevity, or something happening over a longer period of time; and Saturn is also connected to the ancestors and lineage, particularly the maternal lineage, which in their synastry and past lives played an important role. And the connection of both the North Node and South Node serves almost like an union, where the past meets the future into the present; and human eyes see each other again, human hands holds again, and human lips speak again, and kiss again.
Such first meeting skies shows a beneficial connection which supports both of their dharmic paths, as well as carries good past life karma, and their synastry showed the past lives also. As all relationships, there were ups and down, twists and turns, but they found their way back to each other and all worked out happily. They ended up having a child. Not surprisingly to me, the natal chart of their child has some of the same aspects from their first meeting chart.
Turning back the clocks to the time you first met often reveals deep insight into the purpose of your relationship, what brought you together and the lessons you may learn, your path moving forward, as well as when or why the relationship may come to its natural full circle. The first meeting holds both the seed and fruition of your connection; the when holds the why. As a spiritual astrologer, the first meeting is one of the key and first things I look into when I dive into your synastry, and the land of your relationship.
There is you, there is your partner, and then there’s the union of you: your relationship, the soil. From your perspective, the transits you were going through at the time of your first meeting reveal insight into the lessons you may be learning, and from your partner’s perspective and transits, it reveals theirs. But then, together, and the threads that brought you together, the relationship too has its own soil and landscape.
Some relationships are Saturnian – they begin during Saturn periods, so these will hold deeper lessons on patience, devotion, spiritual growth and offer potential for karmic balance. Saturn is nature, cycles, seasons and time itself, so Saturn relationships take you on a longer path through the exploration of seasons. In other words, it is about longevity and long term relationships, or significant commitment and a sense of responsibility. Even if, for some reason, you are not physically together, energetically there will be threads, until the Saturn cycle is complete.
Other relationships are perhaps under the Jupiter period or influence, which may show that such a connection enters your life to expand you in some way – to perhaps give you a sense of optimism, hope, belief, or expand your world through travel or believe in love and goodness. Perhaps it also helps you renew your faith, or makes you dream big and believe in your dreams again, or believe that the impossible is possible. Jupiter connections often comes into your life to infuse a new sense of vitality and expansion for your path forward and the sweetness yet to come, whether with this person or the next one that may be coming in your life.
And then we may also have Nodal time period relationships, which depending on the aspects carry their own imprint. If in aspect to Jupiter, the two partners may be connecting from a past life in a loving way, or in order to find some healing in this world and support each other during a period of expansion or change, such as change in location, work, vocation, soul calling or purpose. These can be quite beneficial, and can make you believe in your dreams again.
The transits you were going through at the time your first met, or your relationship began, may or may not be reflected in your synastry though. Yes, they usually are, but not always. So for example, people who have natal hard Pluto aspects will usually be attracting Pluto relationships, which will have the synastry aspects reflect their own natal ones – and the purpose of this is because through relationships we are meant to come into deeper self knowledge and inner harmony.
Once the native begins to fall into relationship without these natal aspects mirrored in their synastry, it is usually a sign that they have just worked through them, balanced them and in a way, transcended these inner boundaries.
However, as an example, let’s say you don’t have natal hard Pluto aspects, but you are going through a Pluto transit. You may enter into a relationship with Pluto themes; and even though these Pluto aspects may not be seen in your synastry, your experience of the relationship may feel Plutonian.
The reason for that is because of the initial transit you were moving through when you began the relationship or even merely met this person. As the transit moves, and Pluto loosens grip over you, you yourself may suddenly feel like you don’t even feel attracted to the person anymore; it may feel like a complete new energy and “reality”, as if you suddenly wake up from a weird dream.
So this is why you may have heard some spiritual teachers say “the beginning holds the end also”. As each beginning already holds its full fruition in its seed, I know some people, who are familiar with this spiritual concept worry about the relationship’s end. They may ask questions such as, “Does this mean when the period comes full circle the relationship will end?”
There’s no general answer to this, but no, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will end. However, there will be a re-evaluation and you both will be called to reflect on where you are, where you’ve been, how much effort you are putting into the relationship, and how you may choose to move forward. It is true that many couples choose to go their separate ways, and often that’s because the karmic balance has been restored, so they may not feel attraction anymore; they may feel on a soul level they’ve each learned what they needed, or have had the opportunity to learn what they needed, and the paths may now go separate ways.
Other couples choose to continue forward out of a new understanding and mutual love. They may sometimes renew their vows, or start a new phase; or even celebrate the new period with something to imprint it with new energy, such as going on a holiday and celebrating each other.
Each relationship has within itself a “few” relationships, just as each marriage has within itself a few marriages. With each new phase, a new way is needed. A new way of relating to one another, communicating perhaps, or finding a new path together, in whatever shape or form. As human beings we are continuously growing within, and with this we need to also re-connect to one another; to re-explore, re-discover and re-learn each other, our tending to, our kissing, our holding.
So no, it doesn’t mean it will be the end of a relationship necessarily, although, yes, for many it is. However, it is important to understand that it doesn’t end because it’s “written in stone”, but rather it is just a release of energy or that the two people are just no longer supportive of each other’s growth moving forward, and spiritually or energetically there isn’t a match anymore.
People can still choose to be together even if a cycle has ended, but all relationships need work and effort, and love isn’t always about sparkles and passion and fireworks. Usually when cycles wrap, there may not be as much “glue” holding you together in the form of strong or intense passion, and this is why people may choose to separate also. Each couple is different, each relationship is unique.
How you end the relationship though is just as important as how you loved each other. And how you ended it, will pave the path forward into your next one, and potentially carry energetic threads into it. So my advice would be to be mindful of this, and try your best to leave with some acceptance and peace, as much as possible.
It usually helps if you can reflect on what you may have learned through your partner, and how you grew in yourself through this connection. Perhaps your learned boundaries, or self respect, and even if that “lesson” didn’t come nicely, the importance is you learned it.
Finding some peace is important; some sense of gratitude that no matter how things ended or turned out, there was a time, a moment, a once upon, when you shared yourselves with each other, when you laughed, you kissed, you were there for one another hand in hand. So even if only a pearl of wisdom, hold it and treasure it. It will serve you well moving forward. Otherwise, you may often end up in the same cycle of karmic patterns and lessons.
Every relationship is unique, so it’s really difficult to give general examples, but there are a few ways you may reflect on this and find insight on what the first meeting reveals.
Look at what was going on transit wise during that time when you met your partner. It doesn’t have to be the exact date – but what was going on? Were you going through a Saturn transit, for example?
If yes, then do you have any Saturn aspects in your natal chart, like perhaps Saturn-Mars square or opposition.
If yes, is this reflected in your synastry also? The chance is, yes it will. The reason for that is because our relationships are often mirrors or what we need to bring to our surface for the purpose of deeper self awareness and self knowledge. The more self knowledge, the more harmonious our relationships will be moving forward.
So it’s just a process of inner deepening, a kind of peeling of all the false layers of ourselves, such as old identities, belief systems, inner boundaries and self limitations, biases and ego. As we peel the layers, our true essence or most natural fragrance releases, and we are better able to align ourselves with more harmonious and soul aligned partners.
And so,
In this example, if you have these natal aspects reflecting in your synastry, and the relationship itself begins under this time period and greater transit, you know this is at the root of the connection.
In an example with another recent client of mine, her relationship began during a Saturn transit, and the synastry itself had Saturn with the South Node conjunction; and had hard Mars-Saturn aspects, which she too had in her natal charts. So right away, this shows this is about her reclaiming her power, but it is also about moving into acceptance of one another. There will be a battle of wills, and with her Saturn return approaching in a few years, this relationship serves a greater purpose to prepare her for this karmic release.
Mars-Saturn aspects invite us to be more mature. Saturn is about “shoulds”, while Mars can get a bit immature and obsessive, so deep acceptance of one another is needed. Saturn needs to be more flexible and mindful of criticism, while Mars needs to be more patience and considerate. There is often a difference of pacing between the partners, so when one is in the mood to go forward, the other one isn’t. This can create frustration, and affect their intimacy also, but again, the lesson here, for both partners, is to be more mindful of their “shoulds and musts”, and learn some acceptance.
You can take this further by seeing the first lunar conjunction in the composite chart, which also reveals further insight on the lessons needed to be learned. In this example, the first lunar conjunction was with the Sun – showing the need to overcome ego and attachments. Out of the fear of losing each other, as they both had some Pluto aspects and also their natal Moons were alone in their natal charts, they sometimes restricted and manipulated each other unconsciously; sometimes will would emotionally withdraw, sometimes one would provoke, etc.
Their first meeting, with the Saturn influence, also revealed their own Saturn work they need to do in this life, and for both of them it related to their belief systems and restricted perspectives. So they both were facing in themselves their own limitations, and through the battle of wills with each other, they were also seeking to be more flexible and soften up a little bit. The first lunar conjunction with the Sun reveals that they need to inspire each other to rise in their unique selves, rather than restrict each other or dim their lights, because of fear the other will feel left behind or insecure.
Another thing their first meeting showed is that they were basically what each was seeking – one’s atmakaraka was the other person’s darakaraka, and vice versa. Each was a reflection of what the other needed to learn and develop within themselves. Their whole relationship, including the composite, served as a clear mirror. Communication was key for them, as well as emotional honesty.
They each didn’t really have a clear understanding of what love actually means, and were confusing lust for love or drama for love, so this relationship served to show them that love offers us peace and harmony, and is based on acceptance. So their Pluto aspects were called to be reflected upon, and they needed to get really honest with themselves that drama is not love, lust is not love, and there’s no need to keep creating problems to feel bonded, or to manipulate or control one another to keep each from separating. Self sabotage was something they needed to work on, as well as their internal beliefs, categorizations and definitions of what love is.
An oak tree is an oak tree. An apple tree is an apple tree. Each seed carries within herself the fruition of what it is and what it will be. We can’t force things to be something they are just simply not, and then be resentment about it, or blame the oak for not giving us cherry blossoms in spring. This is not love. Love begins with truth, after the disillusionment; this is why it’s about acceptance.
But it’s also about realizing our part in all of this; because there’s also the land, the weather, the sun, our hands and how we nourish it all as it grows in the way it is. Not all oak trees will be strong and lush; not all roses will smell sweetly and bless us with their beautiful petals. So please know that essentially it is about us and how we nourish and take care of each other and the relationship. No matter what the synastry or composites say, at the end of the day you’d need to look into each other’s eye, and make things work across the changing seasons, temperatures and landscapes of life.
It is helpful to know oak is oak, rose is rose, peach is peach; but it is about our tending to it and the daily effort we are willing to make and continue to make that shapes it all. To nurture means to “tend to what already is”. Each time, each phase, each season has its wisdom. And then, it all begins again. Sometimes, people make whole gardens, of planting new seeds and caring for them all, and hand in hand, sometimes, a love story may indeed become a life story.
For personal readings with me, you are welcome to browse through my Offerings.
For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.
If you wish to support me and my work, you may do so by sharing it or donate here. For personal readings with me, you may visit my Offerings.
Your support means so much to me! Thank you wholeheartedly!
Cover art by Charles William Wyllie, The Backwater, Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.
