When we souls meet, fall in love and kiss with human lips, their path dharmic paths merge also; and like I always say to women: it is not just a man you are choosing, you are essentially choosing the kind of life you’ll live. A woman may date Mars, but it is actually always Jupiter that an emotionally and spiritually mature woman always seek and needs in a spouse. Jupiterean qualities are what make a man a man, and create the beautiful temple called “us” between you and your chosen one. Marriage is not just a physical thing, it is a heart, body and soul connection.
A woman needs a man who can protect her – someone able to protect her physically, as well as protect her heart, emotions, privacy, home, honour and dignity; someone who has her back and supports her, someone who protects her dignity in front of others, someone who protects the privacy of their relationship and the sacredness of their home, someone who has the arms into which she may fall into.
The mature healthy masculine energy provides the walls, foundations and roof to be able to create a home – and within that home the feminine can flow in her true flow and essence, and open herself like a flower, and make the home a home with her nurturing, loving and warmth. Together, they create their sacred loving cocoon.
In Vedic astrology, if we seek to enter the dharma of marriage, we enter the divisional 9th chart, called Navamsa, and this is essentially a deeper entering into the Jupiterean natal 9th house. So why not the 7th house? Because marriage isn’t just marriage, nor just a merging of souls, it is a temple – and through that both will walk together, but essentially this is what leads to your soul evolution. In Christniaty too, marriage is called a sacrament – it is a sacred thing, a vow, and a devotional path; and the purpose of marriage is to lead people to God through this path.
When a woman doesn’t choose the right man beside her, her life will not be well, and she will even physically suffer also, because the feminine absorbs and shapes while the masculine directs and impacts. I’ve seen many women who because of the man they chose, ended up unwell and physically unhealthy, as if their energy and very life had been drained from them; and it’s been many years since they have separated from their husbands but they still feel unwell and don’t even look like themselves regardless of whatever fillers and botox women use nowadays. You need to understand how energy works, and that whom you choose to be with in this life is a very important decision that is inevitably going to affect you in all ways, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
The association with the 9th house through the lens of Vedic astrology shows us how marriage relates to our dharma, and this is the path to God. Love and relationships are what leads us to God. Monks and mystics too are married, but it’s a subtle marriage to God and the universe directly; there are many relationships in life we have, and many marriages we may enter ourselves into, because it’s not a legal thing, it’s a vow thing, a spiritual thing. So you need to be mindful what you are saying yes to, not with just lips but on a soul level; what do you choose to merge with and then become, what is this leading you to on its path; what home are you entering, what temple are you connecting to, whom are you saying yes to?
In ancient Hellenistic astrology, the 9th house is called the house of God, and Jupiter as its ruler is often associated with our soul. The 9th house is a light house, associated with higher faith and it is also our spiritual body development. In Christian mysticism, Christ was called the bridegroom, and when we devote to the sacred divine spark within us, the Christ consciousness, we enter the real church – not the physical one outside of us, but the church within our heart, and the heart is the initiation to higher consciousness.
Jupiter brings the qualities of wisdom, protection, dharma and virtue, emotional maturity, trust and loyalty, expansion and creativity, prosperity and joy, and guidance, support and inspiration – all of which are qualities a woman should seek when she chooses her partner to share her life with, if she is seeking an emotionally and spiritually mature partner.
It’s not just a spouse we seek, we seek the one who will also merge with us and expands us and walk beside us on our path of soul growth; this is why Jupiter and marriage have always been associated with houses related to dharma, higher purpose and God. In many ways, marriage is seen as an entering of a temple or church, literally and spiritually, because it is through our human relationships that we come closer to God and to our true essence.
All relationships have their purpose in our life as they each serve a purpose for our deepening and evolution. To meet your right one, you must feel aligned to your spiritual self, which is what Jupiter rules; because to meet your soulmate, you must first meet your soul. When a woman develops her inner life, her spiritual nature and core, she feels more aligned within and is able to choose more wisely also the man of her true heart.
So what secrets does Jupiter hold for you when choosing your one?
Jupiter protects the heart and soul, so you need a man who can protect you. You need someone who can create the space within which you feel protected – protected in your physical security, protected in your honour and dignity; someone who protects you heart, emotions, and vulnerabilities; someone who has your back and will stand up for you even when you aren’t there, as he will protect your name and honour in front of others; someone who will protect the sacredness of your relationship; someone into whose arms you will fall into with full trust, because he’s earned your trust and you know he can hold you.
Jupiter is wisdom, so you need to look for a man who makes wise choices and decisions. A man may say many things but what you must observe more closely are his actions. How does he make his decisions? Does he make wise and smart choices in his work, financially? Because if he doesn’t the consequences of these will be on you as well and your joined union. Is he discerning? Is he able to keep in mind the best interests of his family and those who depend on him? How does he manage his time, money, resources? How does he make things work when he lacks resources? Is he able to make wise choices, or is he careless, irresponsible, impatient, impulsive, immature?
Status, money, all these things can be taken away – and a mature woman knows this, so it doesn’t matter to her whether the man has money or not; what she needs though is someone who knows how to build foundations in life, and how to deal with life; so that when you two find yourselves in the wilderness, he knows how to make fire with sticks and how to climb the mountains with you. Otherwise, if it is only you who is the mature one, you will have to carry him and the whole family each time; and while yes, you both will carry one another and take turns, and support one another and your family, you can’t put all burdens on your own shoulders.
Jupiter is mature, so seek someone who is emotionally mature and able to navigate through difficulties. How does he handle misunderstandings? How does he express his anger? Is he willing to work through things and show up for you and be present and listening, or does he go into fight or flight reponses? How does he treat servants when you go to a restaurant? What questions does he ask you – because this will show you what he values. How does he prioritize his time, because this will show you what matters to him. Does he know how to communicate well – because communication is one of the foundational blocks of a long lasting relationship.
Jupiter reminds us that a woman needs to be a with a man she trusts with her life. You can be strong, independent, self reliant – that’s all great and you should be – but you still need to be with someone whom you trust with your life. You need to know this is someone you can rely on, who can be your rock during anything in life. A woman needs a man whom she can respect and look up to. Because if you are always doing everything, making the wise choices, being the responsible one, taking care of all, there will inevitably come a time when you’ll wake up beside him with disrespect; and disrespect is the beginning of the end.
Jupiter rules joy, optimism and expansion; and when he looks at us we feel like our world expands, we feel seen and heard and adored and appreciated, and inspired! A woman needs to be with a man who makes her feel good, and sometimes she just needs him to calm her and say, “Darling, don’t worry, everything will be okay.” She needs that stability in her life, and someone in whose presence she’ll feel a childlike joy and the freedom to be herself.
Jupiter reminds us the freedom and joy that comes through his expansive nature. Love is freedom; it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t harm, it gives us the freedom to be ourselves with our chosen one and share our deepest self with. It allows us to dream bravely and reach our hands across the borders, and believe in the impossible. Find someone who makes you feel like home, and makes you feel a sense of expansion within, someone that your body says yes to, rather than someone in whose presence your body contracts and you feel uncertainty, doubt, misery etc. Find someone you can laugh with and have fun with, because laughter is absolutely needed in long term relationships and rekindles all flames.
Jupiter sits high in our sky, ruling our natal 9th, our dharma, the heaven, the sky and all stars and higher visions and higher knowledge, because we look up to him – we look up to him for inspiration, devotion, admiration, respect, honour, guidance. A woman seeks a man who can match her on all levels, emotionally, spiritually and mindfully, and yet someone who is committed to growing and expanding, so that she can look up to him and feel that expansion.
She looks for someone who holds a lantern within himself, and can take her hand and she can trust his hand to guide her forward – not because she doesn’t know her way, but because her soul seeks the hand of someone who knows a way also. The masculine is the hands, the wheel of the boat, and a woman embraces him and trusts his direction. If she doesn’t internally trust him, she will not completely surrender to him and she will begin to feel insecure in his presence – and this will shake the foundations.
She needs to know that when the waves are turbulent and the meteors are falling like in some disaster Hollywood movie, she can look into his eyes, and no matter how scared he too is, and even uncertain, he will take her hand, and the hand of her child, and will tell them, “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out, we’ll figure it out, and I will not let go of your hands no matter what.” She doesn’t need him to always have the answers, but she needs to know she can trust him to not let go, to have her’s and her children’s lives held safely and protected.
A relationship is a sea – there will be waves through life, and each partner will always hold the other through the waves; sometimes one partner will be on a big wave, and the other will be their holding, and then vice versa, these are the sea of the love and phases of all relationships. And while yes of course both partners will hold each other, support each other, lift each other and raise one another, the man needs to be wise and be able to lead with clarity of mind and direction.
And unfortunately in our modern day, I often see my female clients holding their partners always while their men don’t know how to hold them in the way the women need to be held. I see a lot of men stuck in boy psychology, and being quite unwilling to mature. A woman needs to feel supported by the man beside her. Any time a woman client has come to me because she felt instability in her life or relationship, it was because the man beside her was not being clear in a direction and wasn’t stable himself – a woman’s energy absorbs that and amplifies it.
Jupiter is our values and moral compass – it is integrity and following a higher dharmic path. A healthy Jupiter is someone who has strong spiritual core, stays aligned to higher values and ethics, and does the right thing in life not just when someone is watching. So look for a man’s value and how he embodies the virtues – what kind of moral compass is he following, what is he actually following at all? What is his own guidance and northern star in life?
Look not for someone’s “righteousness” or boxed dogmatic thinking, look for spiritual maturity, openness to ideas, willingness to learn, and curiosity to explore the new and unknown. Jupiter is expansion – and all relationships are nurtured through the years through the doorway of exploration. We need to re-learn, re-explore and re-discover one another through the years because we are not fixed – we are changing, and our inner world change too, and we need to be willing to pay attention to one another. We need to kiss and hold each other not in the way we always did, but in the way we need to right now. We need to re-learn our partner and stay curious and explore one another like art. And we need to stay open minded because sometimes in relationships we may find ourselves in the wilderness and will need to build fire with sticks.
Notice how resourceful a man is and how creative to find solutions when he lacks something. Notice how he acts when someone’s ideas or thoughts challenge his own perspectives; is he able and willing to respond peacefully or does he negate anything not his own way. Is he able to find ways for creative problem solving, does he know how to create even within limits and lack, and is he able to navigate through obstacles with wisdom, kindness and patience of rhythm.
In our own natal charts Jupiter is what guides us. It shows our dharma from past lives also, whether we lived in virtue or not, and what kind of values we may have now. It shows where we may find expansion and meaning, and yet it isn’t something to be interpreted easily. Someone may seemingly have a “good” Jupiter placement or sign or aspects, but if you seek further into their Navamsa, you may see a different story unfold. So I would encourage you to take a deeper look and not rush to conclusions or judgments through only a simple look.
To develop your own Jupiter you need to develop your spiritual self, lead a dharmic life, have higher values and stay aligned to them with integrity and loyalty, and focus on your emotional maturity and spiritual growth, so you can be discerning and wise.
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Cover art is film still from The Racketeer.
