“in the you of you is the me of me is us
of us is love”
~ The God-like Things by Lubomira Kourteva
This is our most fragrant rose, with a scent so sweet and beautiful that is the epitome of a rose, the essence of a rose. She may not look perfect here with her petals, as she’s been in full bloom for a couple of days now, but trust me when I say, her scent is unmistakable, unforgettable, and knowing it you’ll know what the soul of a rose is.
With such romance, it is only natural to talk about love today. Through all my years of professional experience with my dear clients from all over the world, there is one thing that I’ve always seen to be true, unmistakably, when it comes to love and showing the spouse a person seeks – and that’s their darakaraka, the planet in their natal chart holding the lowest degree. Your darakaraka shows you who you are meant to be with.
Sure we may look at the 1st and 7th axis, your 7th house and its lord and constellation or lunar mansion; sure we may look at the relationship between your Venus and Mars, and I also take you on a deeper dive into your soul chart, Navamsa. All these will show you the dharmic path and the higher purpose of your relationships, how and why it all moves and shapes and the various learnings and teachings along the way. But the one you’re meant to be with will always be shown through your darakaraka. That person may come later on in your life, depending on your natal chart and higher purpose; they may be your second marriage or even third; or their qualities may be present in all your relationships in some shape or form along the way until you meet the one who embodies them all.
Your darakaraka shows what attracts you most deeply to someone, what your soul needs for its growth and evolution, and what it seeks. It shows what will essentially make you feel a sense of completion and purpose with someone, and fulfill you in a relationship.
Darakaraka means “dara” spouse, and “karaka” significator; so it shows your meant to be spouse or marriage partner. It also shows the qualities your soul desires to develop; these qualities will be present in your significant partner and through your relationship you too will develop them.
Your darakaraka is the planet in your natal chart holding the lowest degree out of the seven personal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. It is actually quite intimately related to your atmakaraka, which is your soul planet, holding the highest degree; so we usually see these mutual connections in people’s synastry – one person’s atmakaraka conjunct or related in element or sign to their partner’s darakaraka etc. Jupiter is the natural karaka showing a husband for a woman, in addition to her unique darakaraka, so you need to consider the Jupiterean qualities also, and I’ve written about this in Jupiter, the Bridegroom, the Man a Woman Needs.
The energies of your darakaraka is what completes you, and what you seek in the other. As it holds the lowest degree, this shows it serves more of a dharmic quality in your life, and has very little if any karmic undertones. It is something that pulls you on a soul level, and something which fulfills you and completes in all your interactions also.
If Jupiter is your darakaraka this means you are seeking someone who expands your world and that your spouse or significant other will emotionally nurture you and take care of your emotions; this is because Jupiter is exalted in the sign of Cancer showing both his spiritual and emotional strength and embrace upon another person. In your every day interactions with others, what you will feel most fulfilled by are people with whom you can share deeper conversations and feel a sense of expansion. You are inspired by people who are high minded and spiritual and mature; and you can also recharge your own energy by traveling because traveling is actually very important for you and soul soothing. You need a partner with whom you will feel a sense of expansion on all levels, who has integrity and is trustworthy and high minded, and travel may be key in your relationship also.
You will both spend plenty of time together and enjoy being together in your love cocoon, though you need to continuously feel like you can learn and grow and expand with your partner, whether intellectually, spiritually or physically through travel and having children. Shallow conversations or people with rigid or fixed mindsets can be quite a turn off for you. Your partner may come from a foreign background or meet him while he or you travels; you will expand his world and beliefs, and he may look up to you and ask you for guidance in his life for decisions, he may really be drawn to your wisdom and see you as his light, sun and stars; and you too may look up to him, and you need that in your relationships – to feel like you respect your partner and he has something to enrich your world. Your spiritual and emotional worlds will feel beautifully expanded and balanced through him entering your life, and you will experience deep love and connection. Your spouse will be someone who will support you and stand by you, and be your light and encouragement whenever you need him.
Let’s look at another example from a client of mine. She was married to her first husband for over ten years and they have two kids together, but things didn’t work out and they divorced. She is currently 44 years old, and has been in a relationship with a new man for a little over a year, and she is now pregnant with their first child – which is absolutely wonderful, I am so excited for them.
Her darakaraka is the Moon in the sign of Scorpio, while her atmakaraka is the Sun. She had to go through some karmic things with her first husband, as she has her natal Venus in square to Saturn, which is considered a karmic aspect; and can show the need to learn some harder lessons in love, balance things out, and mainly, learn about self love and self value and reclaim her inner power. Her North Node was conjunct his Sun, which showed that this marriage was important for her and her soul’s path, but that it wouldn’t necessarily last and that once the karma was balanced their connection would naturally dissolve.
With her Sun as her atmakaraka she is here to shine and inspire others through her authenticity, inner light and what matters to her most deeply, and her first husband did contribute towards her learning to step into this more fully, and build something she desired such as her family, and express her solar essence more publicly stepping away from her old career and embrace her true self expression. Being a mother and raising a family were key for her, as well as her own passionate pursuits in the field of environment work, meditation and wellness. Their relationship served a purpose they both needed for their individual soul growth, as well as mutual one, and for the time it lasted it was needed.
But with her darakaraka the Moon, she deeply needs the nourishment and emotional connection from someone, and she didn’t share that as deeply with her first husband. A lunar darakaraka needs someone who’s very soul connected to her, and with her new man now they have created their devoted sacred love life with security and privacy in their home and family. Her current boyfriend, with whom she is expecting a child, has a few planets in the sign of Scorpio, his Sun, Mercury and Venus, which all connect and conjunct her darakaraka Moon in Scorpio. She needed someone like him, offering her the depth and security of emotional connection, understanding and nurturing. He probably balances her in beautiful ways, and they will share a beautiful and fulfilling relationship that will be long lasting also.
I’ve seen these connections over and over again in my clients’ synastry readings, and it’s so beautiful when they find their person – you see how one feels seen by the other and how beautifully they align.
Our darakaraka has a purity to its essence, because it holds the lowest degree – which basically means it is something we haven’t explored nor embodied as much, yet we long for it on a soul level, so it is more dharmic than karmic; and through our union we’ll be inspired and learning about these qualities without carrying the burdens from the past. It serves us a greater purpose, and is part of our dharmic path, if we choose its higher qualities and act of spiritual and emotional maturity. The sign of it, its house placement and its aspects will give you many insights. If it does however have harder aspects, you may need to go through some lessons and do more inner work before it manifests for you in its higher expression.
Your darakaraka doesn’t necessarily mean your partner will be the same sign of your darakaraka, but they’ll have the qualities of it and the energy of it through their natal aspects and placements. For example, suppose your darakaraka is Jupiter in Aquarius; well perhaps your partner will have Jupiterean qualities, Sagittarius placements or Aquarius, or strong aspects to Uranus, or have Jupiter strongly placed in their chart.
You can also look at your darakaraka to try to move in its direction and develop these qualities within yourself, so that you can attract your person sooner, though these unions have their own timing. And when it’s time, it’s time. You’ll know it.
Our darakaraka is a beautiful complement to our atmakaraka, and they connect on a soul level, which is why in synastry readings we often look at their inter-connections between two people for how or if at all, they connect to each other emotionally and spiritually. It is also important to analyze these placements in the Navamsa chart, also known as the soul chart or dharma chart.
We often find that the darakaraka relates deeply to the Navamsa chart and the evolution of our atmakaraka, which shows the importance of our beloved for our dharmic path; and how the qualities we develop through our intimate partners and all of our relationships in life are those we precisely need for soul growth and life’s work.
In Secrets of the Darakaraka, we looked at some of the planets and what they’d mean if they were your darakaraka, and you can also look at its nakshatra or the lunar masion it resides in, which I’ve written on in the Nakshatra of Your Darakaraka. The lunar mansion within which it resides gives us insight on their potential personality as well as the kind of qualities you seek to also develop within yourself on a soul level.
Our relationships in life are most important as they teach us spiritual lessons and as this life is a life of interconnection and interdependence, everything in life is a relationship; but it is specifically through our relationships with other people that we deepen in understanding and self knowledge and grow on a soul level.
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