There are clocks beyond our human made clocks, with hands unstrikeable and unclockable by us. There, time is a matter of timing. But when it’s time, it’s time. You’ll know it. Your heart will know it, your soul will know it, your body will know it; and even in the cold of November, roses will bloom convinced it’s spring.

Love relationships too have their divine timing, and it’s not up to us entirely. As a spiritual astrologer the way I describe these timings sometimes is like the soils and cycles of the land, because we too as human beings have our own unique timings and seasons and phases. We can’t push seeds into the frozen ground in winter, roses will not bloom, it is just not their time yet; we’ll only hurt them and we’ll frustrate ourselves. All we can do is focus on tending to the soil with our loving hands, focus on our inner work, and the rest may unfold when it is its right time.

When two souls are meant to meet, they will meet; and whether you think you are ready or not, it doesn’t matter, the meeting will happen, because the clocks will strike the right timing for it. What happens thereafter is then up to the two people, their maturity level and relationships skills, and their ability and capacity to be in that relationship. It also their choice to be together, a choice made not only with human lips but with their souls also saying yes to each other again; and then again, each day, with actions and hands and feet paving their path together and nourishing the intimacy of their connection, their home, their magic word called “us” – the land of their relationship.

I sometimes get questions from my dear clients on why love hasn’t yet come for them. It can be easy to fall into the rabbit holes of “what’s wrong with me, will it ever happen”, and what I can tell you with true and honest heart is that it’s usually just not the right timing for it – it’s not the season for the roses to bloom, for the apples to be seen on the tree. For most of my female clients I can see they’ve done a lot of inner work, a lot of maturing and growth, but the season just hasn’t come yet.

You may have the finest soil, you may have put in all the work, devotion, dedication, warmth and nourishing into it, and you’ve been waiting patiently, you’ve been choosing wisely, you’ve had the patience and kindness of rhythm, and still it may not be a seeing of its hands reaching through the soil for merging – you may not be seeing the roses yet, nor the apples, nor the right relationship for you.

You lovingly watered the soil with the purest of water; you lovingly took care of the soil with your devoted loving hands; you let it the freedom to receive the warmth of the sun; and you’re longing for it to come, you’re needing it to come. But it’s not coming. Is there something wrong with the apple tree? Were the rose seeds not good? Or is it you? Should you just give up and quit on love? Should you cut the tree and turn your back and walk away? It’s neither of these – it’s just not the season yet. And if it’s not the right timing for you to be in that relationship it will not happen; we can’t force these things, it’s not all up to us and the humility of this deserves to be treasured because there are greater forces than us in this life. Yet sometimes it’s actually a saving grace, so don’t hurry it up.

I had a client once and she had shared with me how she was told that she’d had a transit that would activate a relationship. Well, the transit came and went, and “nothing” had happened. She had gone down the rabbit hole of feeling discouraged, like there was something wrong with her, like she missed it, like she wasn’t good enough or manifesting it etc. As a spiritual astrologer I don’t do prediction based reading, but I looked at her chart and what was happening, and the truth was that the transit she was told about was not a very good one – in fact, if she had indeed had a relationship during that time it would have been disastrous. In fact, she did meet someone during that time but she made the wise choice that he wasn’t the right one; and right choice it was indeed.

So what she thought was “something wrong with her” was actually a blessing for her – and it was a blessing and karmic reward she had earned through her hard work on her inner self and her spiritual growth. You see, if she hadn’t done that inner work, sure that relationship would have showed up and solidified, she would not have discerned it properly, and it would have just led her down the harder lessons – but because she had already learned those lessons, she discerned the men who showed up for her during that transit, and she chose wisely, because she didn’t have to go through the rollercoaster yet again. That’s something to be honoured and acknowledged, and to be grateful for.

So yes, you can get a partner anytime, you can get married anytime before the apple season also; but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’d be to the right person for you or that you’ll be happy long term. Hurry is a sign of fear, and when we are in that energy, it may blind us from making the right choices with the wisdom of our true heart.

Many women harden their hearts and give up on love, or just settle for someone for whom their own bodies try to send them the message of “no, it’s not him”. If you long for your right person, I know it’s difficult to wait, I know it sucks, but these timings are not our timings – and we need to learn to trust the timing of our life, the unfolding of our life. The best thing you can do for yourself in the meantime is to be the person you want to be – develop yourself, develop your relationship skills, focus on emotional maturity and focus on what you love in your life – there is so much love in our life that we can have, and love is expressed in so many ways and embodied in so many ways. Focus on creating the space and right soil for your roses, and then just let it happen, let it come to you.

Another thing I see often is that some people just have really important soul’s purpose that they need to step into before the big love comes into their life. So they will go through phases of solitude where their focus is on their higher path and soul’s purpose; because their soul’s desire was to do this on their own for the evolution of their consciousness. When they do eventually find their right one, and they do, it is not just anyone, it is what people would call a soulmate, because it’s someone who matches them on all levels and is in harmony; and it’s because they themselves have been on a higher spiritual path also, so naturally they can only be of resonance to someone else of this maturity also.

We make soul contracts not just with others, but also with ourselves – and sometimes we’ve made a vow to ourselves that there is something we want to accomplish first before our big soul love and relationship enters our life; especially since when that love comes our full attention and mind blowing passions would be on the love and the relationship. This is actually a sign of karmic rewards – because it shows that when people have peace with themselves being single rather than desperation for a relationship, it’s because they’ve done a lot of inner work, balanced the karma, and have now been given the gift of having the freedom to focus on their soul’s desire.

You have to remember that marriages and relationships have karmic undertones and impulses, so it’s not because “you are perfect and that’s why you are in a relationship”, it’s rather because there is something you both need to balance out karmically. Because of these karmic impulses we can’t really “miss the chance of meeting someone” because whoever you are supposed to meet you’ll meet. Being comfortably single, thereby having the freedom to focus solely on your soul’s purpose is a blessing and a gift you’ve earned.

So for those who have done their inner work but still haven’t met their right person, don’t worry, be happy that you’ve balanced out karma and don’t have to go through more lessons in temporary rollercoaster relationships. It’s just not the timing yet for your right partner. It’s not because you are doing something wrong, it’s just not the time. But you can’t miss each other, you will meet and will come together because as rivers flow to sea, what is will always be. Love incarnates as love and you can’t stray too far from who you are; and the one of your heart will always find you.

When it’s time, it’s time. It doesn’t matter if things look messy or not, if you feel ready or not, if it’s the end of November – the roses will still bloom. Yes, even in the end of November they will, because when it’s time, it’s time.

It’s inevitable, because it’s a spiritual connection.

And what does a spiritual connection feel like?

It feels like you’ve come home. It feels peaceful. It feels right, and your body knows it too, which is why it’d feel relaxed.

When you meet someone who makes you feel uneasy, even though you feel drawn to him like you’ve known him, that’s usually more karmic and it could also be based off of a trauma response match. Feeling unsteady and uneasy around a man you feel passionate about is almost a sure sign you have a chemical attraction or attachment going on, rather than the “deep kind of soul knowing and recognition” that you are meant to be together.

Spiritual connections have a certain sense of ease and harmony in their flow, and things just happen more naturally; there is also respect and compassion for one another. This is because a spiritual connection is one based on authenticity and maturity; because to meet your soulmate you must first meet your soul – which essentially means that you’ve come into some inner marriage and harmony and deep inner truth.

Spiritual connections are based on authenticity and the freedom to be your true selves and to be seen; because love is a seeing and of being seen not of flesh but through the flesh. There is a joy and freedom to be playful and be your true selves around one another; and you are also inspired to be your best selves also and grow. There is also deep acceptance for your true selves and quirks, and you are kind of like able to have childlike joy together while also being open enough to accept the other for who they truly are as well.

There is a also a natural flow that happens, a pace, a patience and kindness of rhythm. You let things unfold though you each are clear and truthful with one another on where you stand. You make each other feel safe and secure in your bond, and there is deep trust and respect, and it’s trust that you have built and shown one another through your actions and words.

I know we live in a world where it’s hard to find someone you feel a soul connection to. I know seasons can go by and still the roses haven’t bloomed, and I know the longing of wanting to be with your person, the one you’ve dreamed of, the one you’re prayed for, the one you believed in since you were a young child perhaps. But love’s destiny is to fulfill itself and it always does. So don’t give up on love, don’t give up keeping your heart open, your mind open, your skin soft and your hands opened – because only then they’ll be held by anothers’ hand.

And when it’s time, it’s time. The heart knows, the soul knows, the body knows and awakens itself; and even in November, in the cold, wild roses bloom convinced it’s spring.

Along our unique physical, spiritual and emotional wildlands, along the twists and curves of the invisible maps and geographies, something more powerful, more ancient than us, older than time, from a time before time beyond time, calls us to the surface, calls us towards itself, towards our destiny, pulling us by the secret threads. Because when it’s time, it’s time. We’ll see it, we’ll know it.

And you meet the right one for you, and he asks to know you, open for him like a flower, and tell him.

Tell him your wisdoms, desires, and mystical secrets. Tell him your true self. Open for him and be brave enough to step into the kingdom of love, and tell him.

Tell him not just because,

tell him because your soul asked you to.  

The beautiful cover art is by artist Liz Huston, whose artwork I love; her official website is here. This piece is called “Where the earth meets the sky”. About it she writes, “In a realm that mediates between the earth and sky, two beings from different worlds come together in an intimate embrace. He is rooted, grounded, contemplative, and deeply connected to the earth. He cares for the creatures in his realm, such as the birds, who, representing vast perspective and spiritual freedom, have taken shelter in his branches. She, by contrast, is untamed and free, her substantial horns symbolic of this wild nature. The clouds behind them are suggestive of wings, a reminder of their inherent freedom and choice to come together.”

I love this artwork as to me it so perfectly portrays the gentleness and truth of deep soul love. There is a primal and vulnerable aspect to it, showing their intimacy and the vulnerability that deep love is; there is also a feeling of the two hearts coming as one – two worlds meet and kiss and become one, forming a third land, the land of their relationship with its own soil and soul, born of love.

There is privacy here, sacredness they each respect and treasure and protect in their bond. Their embrace is gentle, tender, passionate intimate, respectful, strong, and there is love and harmony. Their mutual nudity is the willingness to show themselves fully and truly in their vulnerability and openness, and make the vow of trust and mutual protection.

I love the way we see that he is the roots of the tree – he creates the space for her and invites her in, offering his love, devotion, stability, protection and nourishment for her. In her we see she still keeps part of her connection to the wild and nature, which portrays the wild nature of the feminine, and yet for him, and for love, she surrenders part of that independence, and she slips her gentle foot under his roots. He doesn’t bind her, he doesn’t restrict her. And she stays not because she must nor has to; she stays because she wants to, desires to. This is what love looks like.

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