Karmic relationships are extremely difficult to deal with, and unfortunately a lot of people may find themselves in these hard situations feeling hopeless how to move forward or release the karma. In this article I’ll guide you through a Vedic technique, one of many, on how to find whether you have a karmic rope with someone, though please remember that these are not necessarily deal breakers. Through my many years of experience with clients I have seen many couples with karmic ropes – and many of them had been married for over 20 years happily; and while they did experience challenges along the way, just like any other marriage will, they had gotten to a place of true love and a healthy fulfilling relationship.
There are always ways to work through challenges, and even if you have many hard aspects in your synastry and composite charts, it can still be worked through as long as you share mutual effort, show up for one another, have emotional maturity and are dedicated to walk a patience and compassion of rhythm. In this article today, the intention to is to give you the knowledge of each rope, and then I will share ways to soothe and release the karmic energy, so that you can settle the relationship into peace.
As I said, there are many people who end up marrying their karmic ropes, and while they struggle with problems that cause a bit more emotional turbulence they still manage to work things out or just choose to stay, and this is their choice. Are they miserable? No, they love each other, but they do struggle a lot, the relationships can be painful.
Usually, once the karma is paid off, the relationship may dissolve, unless both partners choose to continue together. However, the “passion” they felt might have calmed down quite a bit since they are no longer bound by the karmic impulse that created it in order to pull them or “tie” them together. And some just choose to divorce or separate prior because it gets too difficult affecting their health and wellbeing.
My intention with this article is to offer you ways of dealing with these ropes, so that you can feel better and the karma is released hopefully sooner than later.
Why would we stay in a karmic rope relationship?
Because these bonds are deeply passionate. And because they are tied energetically and karmically together, hence, a rope.
This is also why most people mistake karmic relationships for soulmates or even perpetuate new age beliefs it should be twin flames, when in reality these are not, at all.
Soulmate relationships are also energetically tied in a way, as you’ve spent past lives together, but the energy is entirely different. They are also deeply passionate, yet they are harmonious and your inner worlds blend and marry and unite rather than be in constant projection and fighting. Both people are emotionally mature and balanced internally, which is why they feel so beautiful, supportive and merging on all levels mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually; and while all relationships will have problems and struggles, soulmates just have a way of dealing with them in a more harmonious way.
Karmic ropes can sometimes trigger the two partners to act completely different from who they are. You might be the kindest and sweetest person, and then you come home and your karmic rope makes a little comment about something as little or simple as the dishes, and you feel your entire body fire up and start reacting in a way beyond your recognition. And the person you were so in love with, and still are, your very dear and passionate beloved is suddenly your very own rat from hell. Two days later though, there you are in love again, passionate again, cuddling on the couch, until two days after that, when you start a war because of the remote control which then becomes a deep heartache because you feel alone and unappreciated and unloved.
When two souls meet, a third one begins: the soul of the relationship. On its lands, many things happen. The energies of the two people merge, interweave, and the way we act is in relation to that. The more we’ve been emotionally and physically intimate with someone, the more this land grows and is nurtured, memories and impressions stay, which is why past life relationships feel so intimate right from the start – as the emotions continue beyond time and space.
So when you are together with someone with whom you are roped up, every time you are in that energy, on that land, you are affected by its climate, weather, nutritive cycles and wildlife emerging from the corners. This is why once people get out of these karmic relationships, they literally feel a relief in that own energy – even if going out for a walk; while when with the person, they may even feel tension in their body, depending on where the rope is connected. If you have a neck rope, you might even physically feel restraint in your throat, like someone is holding you or you feel restricted in voicing your choices or preferences.
How to find if you have a karmic rope:
As this is a Vedic technique, we’ll be focusing on the nakshatra of each person’s natal moon. You need to know the exact birth time of your partner or person interested in, as the moon’s nakshatra may change during the day. You can use a birth chart calculator of your choice, or try this.
Once you find both of your moon’s nakshatras you need to make sure they are different. If both of you are Magha or both of you are Ardra, then you do not have karmic rope.
You then need to see whether both your nakshatras are part of one body part listed below. If they are of different body parts you do not have a karmic rope.
The Five Karmic Ropes:
1. Feet: Ashwini, Ashlesha, Magha, Jyeshta, Mula, Revati
2. Hips: Bharani, Pushya, Purva Phalguni, Anuradha, Purva Ashada, Uttara Bhadrapada
3. Navel: Krittika, Punarvasu, Uttara Phalguni, Vishaka, Uttara Ashada, Purva Bhadrapada
4. Neck: Rohini, Ardra, Hasta, Swati, Shravana, Shatabhisha
5. Head: Mrigashira, Chitra, Dhanishta
Now, let’s dive into each in more detail and how it may play out in your relationship dynamic.
1. Karmic Rope at the Feet
Being tied karmically at the feet may cause you both to feel like you can’t quite move where you truly feel that you belong. Once you enter into a relationship with this person you may suddenly feel like you are wandering all the time, or your life might suddenly become unstable or feeling lost in some way; or perhaps your closed ones begin moving farther which could have been a early sign of the karmic rope. You yourselves may relocate constantly – change residences, cities, houses and even countries all the time, because of this energy of wandering yet not belonging. You may have to move a lot because of each other’s work or life circumstances, but these moves aren’t really welcome because you don’t really feel like its your place and it doesn’t make you happy.
The rope creates an overall energy of instability, not belonging, not feeling inner or outer freedom, feeling restricted in movement, and not feeling in sync with other’s moves. This may make it hard to settle, whether physically or emotionally, and there is a sense of emptiness. It is hard to understand each other and adjust to one another movements – whether in gestures, walks of life, or even vision. You may feel like you need to move where your partner moves, yet not wanting to but feeling pressure or burden to, or like you owe them to move or adjust to something.
It becomes really difficult to adapt to things, and being able to adapt or feel in sync are really important in a fulfilling relationship. It is hard to go the distant or feel a sense of togetherness and love within, when we are tied at the very thing that gives us freedom. You may also feel unsupported in your choice of life’s path, or pressured to “go where you don’t want”, whether physically or metaphorically. Another manifestation of this rope is that plans may often go wrong or face obstacles in travel or changing residencies or where you currently live, which then creates this energy of needing to change or move yet again but facing even more obstacles. The key karmic themes here are stability and belonging.
2. Karmic Rope at the Hips
Our hip region stores emotions related to fear, sadness, frustration, loss and worry. As we clench and tense up when we are faced with these emotions, we lock and store them into our hips. Karmic ropes at the hips usually relate to expectations of poverty or impoverished mentality or belief system, which are triggered through your relationship, and may keep replaying over and over, again and again.
We receive love through the hips, woman’s hips are bigger because of these love emotions, and when we have something tying us there we feel like we are not receiving what we need and that we are in lack. Somehow you are always left not full or not given what you need, and there is something lack or not enough constantly. You might be left hungry for affection, care, love; or you might literally not have the financial abilities together as a couple, even if by yourself you are or were able to create a lot of wealth or were successful before.
Finance, money and abundance are also related to values, and self-worth. And with this karmic rope you might have very different views on values, which then creates even more fights about money and finances. In one way or another, your ability to feel and experience abundance, financially as well, is limited with this rope. I would advise you to consider separate bank accounts.
3. Karmic Rope at the Navel
The navel is considered the center of life, rebirth – it is the door to life and consciousness, and this is where it is believed that the soul enters life. It is about connection and birth, and in the old mystical texts soulmates were known to be connected through their belly buttons. Located in the center of the abdomen, referred to as the hara, our navel is the source of life, the spirit gate, and in acupuncture it is the place where we receive life and nourishment from our mother’s umbilical cord. The hara is not just an anatomical location but as the Dan Tian or center of the energy of our body we gain our core physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual health, for in many ways we are as healthy and as calm, centered and peaceful as the hara.
So when you are both tied at the navel this may show complications in creativity and nourishment. Your energies become drained by one another, and you also may not feel supported in your individual creative expression or creative projects. You may feel an energetic block to your creativity and not be able to step into your creative purpose or talents and gifts – perhaps your partner is judgmental, critical, unsupportive or needs constant attention and affection from you while not giving you what you need, which leads you to feel drained. You may constantly feel you nourish them, but don’t feel nourished yourself. You may not feel much vitality, or “alive” and joyful in their presence – it’s like having some chain when you are around them.
I would advise you not to have children with this person, or if you already do, try not to fight about them or be mindful not to fight in front of them. Children, creativity and your very own ability to feel free and purposeful in life may be blocked by this karmic rope. If that’s the case but you are married, try to disengage when wanting to focus on your creativity and expansion, and find those who support you; if you feel blocked it might be helpful to spend time away from your partner.
I know a woman with this rope, and while her boyfriend was amazing and really nice, he was just really insecure and she always felt almost guilty to start her own creative venture (she is increably talented and creative in so many things), and it was only after separating from him that she developed on her own and truly shined. He also wanted children, and she did too, however she always felt something in her gut that she shouldn’t have children with him. She is very intuitive, but even if you aren’t please listen to your body it never lies. We may not understand why, but listen to your body and honour its messages. She felt it so strongly that she even stopped having sex with him, and despite loving him and he loving her and having a really harmonious relationship otherwise, ultimately she gained enough courage and confidence to separate, and understand that it was a blessing that they didn’t have children.
Having said all that, I do also know married couples with this rope who do have children and all is fine, but they argue constantly about them, so just be mindful of that. And try to be more supportive and compassionate towards each other’s creative self expression and needs and desires, and work on your self confidence.
4. Karmic Rope at the Neck
Karmic ropes at the neck or head are actually the hardest to break or resolve. As mentioned above, when tied at the neck you may literally feel like something is holding your neck when you are with your partner or thinking of them. I know a woman who is married to her karmic rope and they do love each other, but for years and years, way before she knew of karmic ropes, she’d always describe that she sometimes feels like something is holding her neck.
This rope affects women’s wellbeing and even health as time goes by. Perhaps when you met your man you may have suddenly gotten a little cold, or have more allergies, or suddenly just feel more drained in energy. The neck also restricts our ability to choose because we are not given the choice to anyway. You may feel like you need to do or go wherever you parner wants, and somehow it is always up to them, or just “coincidences” happen and you move where they want, live in the house they want, travel where they want, and even eat what they want.
There may also be tension in your ability to speak your desires and needs, and even when you do and you express yourself, it’s like you are not being heard. This rope can become really toxic especially for the woman, and she may begin to really feel like she is powerless, helpless or like a slave. She may also feel like she is a victim to her circumstances, and even if not serious as problems within the relationship, she may just often feel like she doesn’t have choices or what is available to her isn’t making her happy nor ever fulfilled. She may begin to feel really suffocated in this bond. Feeling so drained and unwell will inevitably affect the man too eventually.
In real life I did have a married couple who shared that rope, and while they had challenges through the years and some health issues had arise, they two shared love and compassion, supported each other through the years and had the emotional maturity to work through things together; and 20 years later, there they were sharing a beautiful and healthy relationship, being each other’s best friends travelling the world!
5. Karmic Rope at the Head
The neck rope was more harmful to the woman’s wellbeing, and being tied at the head is more harmful to the man’s. Karmic rope at the head affects the mind, thoughts and clarity. This can do a lot of damage because you may feel like your mind has been infiltrated and you can’t see anything clearly; decisions become chaotic, unstable, erratic, or there is just confusion, hesitation, and no clear direction. A man’s wellness and stability in self comes from his ability to make decisions in life and have clarity – and when he doesn’t, things can go a bit dark unfortunately.
He may often steer in many directions, and be inconsistent or unreliable, which will obviously affect the woman too and their entire relationship. You may also experience nightmares when you first met, as this might have been a sign of your karmic rope. If you don’t feel feel well, I would strongly advice you to prioritize your health and wellbeing, and spend plenty of time in nature or talk to a profession, or consider separating, even if only for a while, and see how you feel.
The relationship itself may be more vulnerable to lack of direction, confusion, chaos, not seeing things clearly, not sleeping well, lack of focus, and overall fogginess. It may also make you feel like you are not loved enough because your partner may just not be able to show you that at all, and this lack of attention or direction may make you feel stressed and unstable, and be left in perpetual ambiguity, or like you can’t rely or even trust your partner. We can’t trust someone who isn’t making right decisions for the best interest of his loved ones, especially if you have kids you need stability. And in general, a woman needs stability from her partner – someone who gives her comfort and is clear about his intentions and feelings. This rope may create an overall cloud of depression and confusion, and you may be more prone to headaches.
Moving forward, healing & releasing karmic ropes:
It can be feel really difficult when we find ourselves in such relationships because we might wonder “what am I doing wrong, why is this not working out, am I not good enough”. It can cause feelings of shame, blame and guilt, because it just doesn’t make sense why all else in your life may feel okay, how much you love one another and yet together it just seems impossible and simply really painful. You may have amazing few months, and then as if out of nowhere all spirals and you feel deeply hurt.
Sometimes it’s not you, it’s not them, it’s just what it is. There are certain things in life we’ll never understand with our conditioned human minds and limited understanding – and karma is one such thing. Please don’t try to dig into stuff because you’ll only perpetuate cycles; and if someone begins telling you that in a past life you did xyz to them and that’s why now you’ll be punished, or or or, you need to stop listening to that. You need to stay rational as much as possible, and focus on the now. Past lives are healed when the now is healed – and through the now, all other timelines shift.
So the first thing to do is compassion – don’t blame yourself, don’t blame your partner, there is nothing to feel ashamed of or guilty for. Both of you are just walking one another in this life for some time, and you are both doing the best you can within this circumstance. One of our most important lessons in this life is knowing that each of us does the best we can with what we have at every moment in our life.
If you decide to stay in that relationship what you’ll need to do is focus on self-development, emotional maturity and inner balance. You need to practice all the patience, compassion and forgiveness you can find within you; you need to have temperance. Practicing the virtues is what makes us tune into the energy of true love, and this is what these relationships ultimately are about: learning to love or deepening in our ability to love in this life, which happen through emotional maturity and the wisdom of the heart.
Learning to be less reactive may take time, but keep trying. Give each other space when a fight breaks out or you feel the tension rising. Let your partner know that you are not feeling in the right space to honour this conversation or pay it the attention it deserves because you are feeling really pissed at the moment and need some time to cool off. Go for a walk, or into the other room, or to the gym, or watch a movie, but then – be respectful and true to your word and come back to resolve the issue. Otherwise trust will be lost.
Another thing to remember about fighting and conflict is that we usually have 10 seconds to think clearly and then it’s attack–blame–defend, war time mode in our mind – that’s just human nature. After these 10 seconds there is very little listening and responding, because there is not much logic and focus – so don’t force things to be discussed right here right now. Understand that the other person’s experience of what just happened may be completely different from yours, and the key to a “good fight” is empathy, awareness and listening. This happens first by giving each other space to reflect and cool off. Usually behind anger is hurt, etc. but you each need that time, and respect your partner’s need for time. Learning how to solve conflict healthily is really important in all relationships, and knowing yourself well enough to know what may provoke you.
And perhaps most importantly is to remember not to fight against each other, but to fight for a solution together so that you both feel better. Sometimes we just lose focus and forget that we are fighting against a problem not against each other.
Grace is what trumps karma, always. In our humanness, grace shows up when we are tender, gentle, forgiving, compassionate and accepting each other’s worlds – because we all live within our own worlds inside, and only we know our own tears, fears and struggles. There is no point in changing or fixing someone, and grace reminds us to be forgiving and not hold grudges. Forgiveness comes when we no longer feel angry or resentful, but rather feel sadness and compassion when we look at that other person. We realize that “wow, they are just like us human beings, fragile and vulnerable and afraid, but they did the best they could to wake up today and make an effort; and even if that effort is too little for me to appreciate or to be enough for my needs or to feel loved, they did what they could.”
At the very end of this all, we are all just human with our own crosses to carry on our backs. What is right for you may not be right for another in that mutual exchange, but it is what it is. Sometimes it is best to let go, and when you let go, let it go with gratitude for their time in your life because karmic partners are our teachers. They peel the layers of our bark to bring us closer to our heart, and to true love. Sometimes they are stepping stones to your real soulmate, and sometimes not. It doesn’t matter. They’ve helped you, you’ve helped them, you both did the best you could.
Focus on what you learned, and let things go with peace and love as much as you can, for otherwise you are only hurting yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgiving actions, it means emptying your own hands that carry the burdens – because holding onto things poisons us. Don’t do this to yourself.
When you decide to separate know that it will be hard, and you will probably miss them incredibly and painfully. You need to heal and as such focus on things you love, working out, eating well, and having a strong support system, a spiritual counselor or just seek help when you need it. Your mind will be attached to them through the memories and emotions that you created and that you shared – so every time you think of them, you will be nourishing those energetic threads and resurrecting the bond, and you need to be really strong, mindful and disciplined not to do that.
I would also advise you to do a spiritual and energy cleanse. A thread connects you which means that whatever you send out will come back and stay within your energy, which is why it is important to approach such relationship with care and compassion as much as possible. The more you clear your own energy, the more you help this to be released; the more you grow spiritually and emotionally in balance, the more you help this to be released.
If you feel such pain that it’s as if a part of your soul is missing because of them or the relationship, God can and will renew it. There is a prayer that you can say to ask for this, and it comes from Psalm 51:10-11. The prayer is:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right and steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me.”
Break-ups are messy and difficult regardless of whether or not they are karmic. There will be sadness, doubt, hesitations, feelings of guilt and what ifs, and times when all resurfaces, we are feeling lonely, and we miss the other person, wondering if maybe we should go back to them. Often times when relationships break, we grieve not the person necessarily – but the dreams we had and shared. We build dreams together, we have plans together, we envision ourselves in a way that doesn’t become. And it isn’t just sadness for them, it is sadness for us and all the dreams that didn’t happen. We think they wouldn’t ever happen – but they will, with the right one. We think we may never love again or be loved again – but we will, with the right one. Remember the reason and your decision for the separation, and don’t doubt yourself – trust yourself, and how you make decisions in your life, for your wellbeing, and from your heart’s truth.
We need to understand that regardless of whether or not it is karmic rope, we will inevitably be entangled energetically to someone we’ve been with emotionally and sexually. And it’s not just to people, we tie ourselves to self-beliefs and to thoughts also. Try to stay away from quick fixes, such as “cut the cords” articles found on the internet, as they are not always a healthy way to move forward and may create more entanglements. I would advise you to stay away from alcohol and drugs because these may lower your energetic boundaries and you might be more susceptible to negative energies to attach to you.
Naturally, and with time, and with kindness of rhythm, energetic strings loosen and will be released on their own as the karma is resolved or the spiritual lessons have been learned. Patience and self-care are your allies.
Try not to enter new relationships from a space of “distracting yourself from yourself” – enter them with clarity and intention. The energy with which we enter a new connection is the energy that will imprint on its entire development as a relationship. Focus on your wellbeing, honour the sacredness of your heart’s tears, and acknowledge the cycles of our emotional lands and the complex nuances of emotions we go through. Use the time to set new intentions and have more clarity on what you desire in a partner, in a new relationship, reflect on how you contribute and what you need in turn to feel fulfilled in love.
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