Love is a seeing, and of being seen, a knowing and of being known, not of flesh, but through the flesh.
I still remember the first time I came across the phrase Noli Me Tángere. It was during a time I was deepening in trust and my mystic’s path, as well as I was also diving deeper into the mysticism of soul relationships and the divinely guided relationships.
And when I read that phrase, as if by chance somewhere in the middle of the day, not even knowing exactly where it came from or where it was originally written, suddenly a world within words opened up for me, and revealed itself – a world of deeper mysticism that human eyes may not meet or initially see. This phrase, still in my opinion to this day, remains one of the most mystical and most important from the canonical Bible texts, because within that phrase is the world of love.
The phrase itself, “Noli Me Tángere” is the Latin version of a phrase spoken, according to John 20:17, by Jesus to Mary Magdalene when she recognizes him after His resurrection. The original Koine Greek phrase is Μή μου ἅπτου (mḗ mou háptou).
According to the text in John, Mary Magdalene goes to the grave, and there she sees him as if he is human again, as he is rising and well, as if alive, so she reaches her hands towards him to touch him, to hug him perhaps; and he says, noli me tángere, which essentially means “do not touch me” or “cease holding on to me”.
In this simple phrase, we see the various multi layers of mysticism, spiritual truth and the enormity of unconditional love. We see the spiritual truth that love goes beyond skin, beyond flesh, and it may only be found a bond from heart to heart.
Within the context of Christianity, this would be the teaching of Christ to look beyond the physical, and that after his resurrection, he will still remain – in the hearts, for this is his kingdom – and the connection to him will be from heart to heart, not hand to hand. It is a reminder of faith itself also, because faith isn’t always with human hands, but it is rather that which moves our hands, a spirit, though invisible or intangible, it is more powerful than anything else in the world.
This phrase goes beyond religion, it is a universal truth, and it is deep mysticism. It shows the link between human beings and heavens, of how we must transcend the physical and allow love to be a bond of heart to heart. It is only such deep spiritual and emotional love that may ever fulfill us, rather than basing connections on purely physical things.
When people truly love each other – heart to heart, soul to soul – this becomes eternal, immortal, and time itself loses itself, it dissolves. This is why sometimes it feels like no distance matters when you love someone, no time passed matters, it’s always like the first time when you meet again.
But to understand such sacred things, we must first be willing to let go of our own needs for attachments. Is love enough even if you can’t touch someone? Is its fire burning inside your heart, inside your inner temple, enough? Some things are not flesh things, not skin things, and yet they hold us stronger than anything else, and for many lives they hold us. Sometimes you may feel you love someone as if more than life should allow, and even if you don’t believe in these things, you just know it deep in your core.
From a spiritual and Christian perspective, this phrase is also about shifting within. It’s about no longer needing another’s hands to guide you, it’s about no longer expecting the saviour neither, it’s about now you nurturing the inner temple of god, nurturing its light, nurturing the seed of love god has given you in your heart.
To me this phrase first and foremost speaks of trust, and the deepening of trust that happens on our path in the moments when we can’t really see the horizon clearly. Some may feel it as a fog, as not being sure which way to go, as seeking answers, and yet still it feels like we are not really receiving a clear answer.
One of the most important lessons of our life is trust. And we can’t really develop and strengthen this trust if we always knew it all. So it is precisely in the times of not knowing, or not “holding something” clearly that we may deepen into trust, into faith, into our deeper core self and soul essence.
The path begins with the unknowing. The path reveals after the “I don’t know”. And as human beings we’ll never know it all. As much as we need to know, to give ourselves some sense of stability and feel some control in this uncertain thing called life, we’ll just never know it all. With our conditioned human minds and limited understanding we’ll never know it all. The humility of this deserves to be treasured. So once we settle into this humbleness of not knowing, not able to hold it all whether as answers or hands, then we begin to empty ourselves of attachments to ideas, etc., and the inner alchemy begins.
And eventually, we find ourselves in the temple within our hearts; there, in the quiet center beneath the dome, we feel the presence of the divine and perhaps even realize the hands which held us all along, even in the times we thought we couldn’t see them nor feel them.
You know, a lot of people still to this day argue about whether or not Mary Magdalene and Jesus had a physically intimate relationship. Personally, I find this quite irrelevant. Whether they did or not, is not important at all. Because I often wonder: would knowing if they did or didn’t actually change your faith? Would you believe more in Christ if they did? Or would you believe less if they did?
If your faith is stronger for him, because you are moving in the direction that he had a romantic relationship with someone, then perhaps you are seeking to resonate with someone more as a human, a physical love. That’s a not bad thing. But then, if you find out they didn’t have that kind of relationship, and you then don’t “believe” in the Christos love, then what is this saying about your faith or what your faith was based on.
On the other hand, if you believe in Christ, or call yourself devout Christian, only because you are saying he was essentially celibate and never had a relationship with any woman, but then suddenly evidence comes out that they did have a relationship, or perhaps even children – and then – you suddenly go against “Christianity”, then what does this mean for you.
What is your faith truly based on? What ideas, what attachments? I think that’s the more important question, rather than who had a relationship with whom. Noli me tangere … don’t cling on attachments, whether attachments to beliefs, thoughts, ideologies, human made or human written text. Find your own deeper connection to god, to your faith, that light within the lantern within the inner temple of your heart. The church within your skin.
What I find more important in the story between Jesus and Mary Magdalene is that he saw beyond the exterior, not just her but everyone else on his path. He showed us he saw past the outer appearances, he saw the essence of the words and that many words were empty, and he inspired us to do the same. To seek the essence of things, and be discerning also.
And he accepted people, creating the space for their unique paths with compassion. And through that acceptance, he cultivated the needed space in which true love resides, inspires and lifts us higher.
And for him too, he experienced love through the human body and the human experience; the tears, the pain a body feels, the thorns, the laughter, the touch of hand, the smell of roses, the wind in our hair and the sun warming our skin. He too experienced the fragility of human life, the complex nuances of the human experience, and all the judgments and biases we face as human beings.
So regardless of relationships, both of them, Jesus and Mary Magdalene, in their own ways opened their hearts and the hearts of others for more love and acceptance to come in. The essence of love is acceptance of each other’s true selves. To see each other in our true selves, and give each other the freedom to be that.
I may not know many things, but I know a woman’s heart when she is in love. Whether it is with her lover, her partner, her god, her parents, her children, the animals, her creations, her home, her heart expands, opens wide and her love becomes eternal, immortal and gives her such power and strength that she can lift mountains and trucks with her bare hands. This is where faith resides. Such love is a stability within the core of us, through which a vessel of clarity is created. And through this, inspired creativity flows continuously. Love is what transforms us into better humans. And when love speaks through our lips, we embody angels.
Sometimes people fear getting into romantic relationships because they say they don’t want to change; but that’s the point of it. To change. To transform. To peel the layers off your bark of outdated beliefs and identities, so that your true most natural sweetest scent is released and arises. Love is a peeler. It peels off what isn’t us any longer, to release our inner essence. So no, you will not be the same, but that’s the point of it. Love is there to grow you, transform you, expand you. And it’s worth it. Even if only for a second of it. To touch that eternity that love is.
As for the relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene, my perspective has often been this:
If there is something you believe in, which inspires you to be a better human being, to open your heart allowing more love in, to be more loving, kind, inclusive, non-judgmental, compassionate and forgiving, and it doesn’t come at your detriment nor others’ detriment, and it doesn’t harm others nor yourself in any shape or form, then I don’t see why you must be discouraged to believe in it. If it harms none, believe in it; and if you must believe in something, believe in the goodness and purity of heart; and if you must have a guiding star, may it be the star of love.
The rose I have photographed above is one of the sweetest roses I’ve ever smelled; and she is absolutely stunning in her beauty. She grows wild in nature. No matter how much people sometimes try to take her to their gardens or home, by cutting off a little stem of her, she never grows inside. She can’t. It’s not where she belongs.
In this way she too teaches us about love and noli me tangere. I think sometimes when we find something so sweet, so soul deep even, like a person whom we can connect to and talk to and feel in sync with, we want this to last; we want to keep it with us, to hold it as long as we can, because it’s so rare nowadays to meet someone you connect to on a deeper level. Someone who makes you feel like a forever smile in their presence, a comfort, a home, a peace and serenity. Like time stops.
And so we want to hold on. We want to hold on to that feeling also. But we can’t. So in these moments we can remember this wild rose – because she is a blessing, just like love is. It’s a gift to us when we meet someone like that, who makes us feel so happy and serene, and even if only for a moment, it is still a gift to be treasured and grateful for. To be grateful that we met someone like that on our path, to be grateful for opening our heart or touching our heart in some way.
And just like a rose, the sweet fragrance of this meeting may still scent our hands long after we’ve unheld and the distances widen between us. And through this sweet scent, still on our hands, we may touch other people’s hands like compassion, kindness, joy, and all the beauty that we still carry and feel inspired by through our previous meeting. To open our hearts, to be able to love, is our greatest gift.
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Cover photograph by me of our beautiful wild roses. For more flower and nature photography, you may browse my Flower Shop.
For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.
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