As a spiritual astrologer, when I dive into the relationship lands of my clients, analyzing synastry and the composite charts, one of the greatest insights that they can deepen into is the purpose of why they met; this allows each individual insight into their unique path and soul evolution, as well as allows both partners to shape the destiny of their relationship.
The way I approach this is I look into the aspects of their synastry and composite charts, and how each aligns to the soul evolution and their unique path, especially if there are Saturn and Nodal links, and I also look into their soul and dharma charts, which is the D9 chart also known as the Navamsa, and whether it shows links to their natal charts. One thing I often also do is turn back the clocks and look at the transits each person was having at the time of their meeting, as this provides further insights into the purpose and the energy imprint on their union and experience.
Not all love stories will be life stories, but each is purposeful and meaningful. No matter how long you may have stayed together, going your separate ways through awareness and understanding of your united path brings you gratitude for one another and what you learned, and this is really important as you will leave with peace and appreciation rather than resentment and bitterness.
There are no chance meetings. Relationships often serve as mirrors and always serve as opportunities for a deepening. When people long to meet a soulmate, what they first must do is meet their soul, and love serves as a peeler – it peels the layers off our bark, of false identities and conditioning and outdated beliefs, in order for us to release our true self, our sweetest most natural fragrance. So yes, there will be relationships in your life which will be teachers; there will be relationships which will be supporters; and there will be eventually a life love story also. Each is purposeful as each is leading you where your soul desired.
Love is a blessing. Love is a beloved seed of God, and our beloved is a blessing. It gifts us the opportunity to learn to love by falling into selflessness and open our hearts, to give and support someone, and to see the love we are by seeing how we love; it allows us a desire to appreciate, be truthful and unveil our true self; it allows us soul growth.
The destiny of a relationship is often made up of a special combination between the hand of fate and the hand of free will. The hand of fate is what will bring you together with whom you are supposed to meet depending on where you are in life, what you need to learn and what you need to balance; and after the meeting it is our human hands and our choices, effort and will that will shape the relationship and hopefully sustain it. The hand of fate is often a karmic impulse that brings you with someone, an iron necessity, so you can’t miss it and it can’t miss you on your path. If something needs to be balanced it will be brought to you; and desire itself too will pull you towards it.
In the most unexpected of ways and places you will meet whom you are supposed to meet. You can then look back and each of you will realize how every single little step and seemingly ordinary choice and chance led you to your meeting; and you may even notice similar tastes and experiences and feeling and even beliefs and dreams you may have shared on your paths. For some people it may be more of karmic relationship, in which there is something to balance out, and for others who have come into their true fragrance and walking on their soul path it may be the blessing of their soulmate – the one they were seeking all along.
In all, you will be seeing little pieces of that soulmate – whether it is their movements, their hands, their eyes, their words, something of deep recognition will pull you as it is part of the path, until you meet your own soul through inner development, align to your true self, and then you will see the embodiment of it all. This is why the saying is “to meet you soulmate you need to first meet your soul.”
You can only be with someone who is of a similar vibration to yours, which is why psychologists may often say how we attract people with similar wounds to ours, so that we can heal them. This is also why some people may separate or feel a disconnect, because even if they love each other, if one partner grows at a faster pace than the other, there will a disconnection energetically and emotionally. I often see couples in my readings where one partner has done a lot of inner work recently, but the other hasn’t, so there is now a disconnect; and if they want to stay together, the other needs to do their inner work also, otherwise if not at the same vibrational match they will just naturally not feel the attraction anymore and go their separate ways.
In the same way, if you are looking for a harmonious soul deep relationship, you need to come into that vibration and soul intimacy within you. But one thing to know about spiritual growth is that the more we do we evolve, the harder it is to actually meet someone of a similar vibration to feel attracted to and connect to – whether it is a partner or friend. This is because most people just don’t do their inner work, as it is their free will and requires a lot of effort, and so many people may go through longer periods of being single or celibate, because they just don’t feel an attraction to someone and no one really matches up to them emotionally, physically, and spiritually to create that bridge of attraction. But that’s a different topic.
And so,
After the hand of fate and the iron necessity pulls you together to meet with someone at the divine timing, order and place, now a new hand, the human hand, begins to shape the relationship and your joined path forward – what worlds do you create together, what dharma are you making, what new karma are you shaping, what fruits and flowers will now be growing in your gardens. The soil is the soil, the weather is the weather, but what you choose to do with it and how you do it is yours as choice, effort, nurturing and action. This is the free will. The hand of freedom. It is now up to your choices and actions how this can shape and how you will be experiencing it. Not all people who come together may balance the karma, and not all people who unite with their desired soul partner can go the distance – relationships are about relationship skills and knowing how to love. Just because someone is your soulmate or you love each other truly and deeply doesn’t guarantee happiness and staying together. Self awareness and learning, and knowing, how to love are what you both need to stay together.
Let’s go through a couple of examples.
Example One
These two partners met at a time when each was longing for a true soul partner, and was about to step onto their unique soul paths and maturation. They met in the most unexpected of ways, and there was soul recognition through the eyes and voice at first sight; and indeed they shared past lives together and there were soulmate links.
Both the man and the woman are very intuitive and emotionally and spiritually connected individuals; they both value integrity and true soul love, and had gone through a period of solitude and not settling for casual relationships. As a result, their relationship too was deeply emotional and spiritual, and also very physically passionate. They met during a time when the hand of fate brought them together, as seen through the South Node transits and Saturn transits activating their charts.
They shared a deep emotional bond, and a deep spiritual and psychic connection also; they had dreams and strong telepathic connection and communication, and they intuitively knew what the other needed – which was often what they themselves needed also, as they were so similar and made of the same cosmic fabric. There was almost a non-linearity and timeless thread binding them, and no matter whether from across the oceans or sitting next to each other, they felt a sense of home and profound emotional connection. It was this profound emotional connection and vows of together from a time before time beyond time, that allowed to support each other through whatever they were each going through in their own lives.
The purpose of their relationship was actually a spiritual restart. They spent most of their relationship across the oceans, and each went through their own transitions and growth, but in their togetherness they found the peace and healing they each needed. Their relationship served as a healing and loving space where they both evolved emotionally and spiritually, finding solace in one another. Even if they wouldn’t talk to each other for a while, no matter how long time passed, each time they’d reconnect it felt like a natural continuation and the love they felt was something deep which never allowed for negative feelings nor disrespect to be present between them. Human time and linearity were non-existent between them.
They met at a time when one of the partners was more mature in her 30s and was about to begin her soul’s calling work in a few years, while the man was about to enter a period of facing his inner shadows and feeling disadvantaged and more limited is his life and possibilities ahead. Essentially they were united for a shared journey of rebirth and spiritual growth. They each were also learning about inner discipline and overcoming challenges, and through their difficulty in being together in the same country they also came into their lesson of inner discipline, integrity and perseverance.
They also sparkled and rekindled a life force within them and a powerful fire and passion that almost rejuvenated them on a soul level; and through the deep love they shared they opened up even more emotionally and spiritually, as they saw the manifestation and embodiment of soul love in each other, believing it was indeed real and possible. It was almost like – everything they ever wished for in their hearts had become the physical embodiment, the hands, the eyes and lips of the person sitting in front of them; as if their hearts came out of their chests and became a person breathing in front of them.
With a lot of spiritual and emotional links in their synastry and composite, they came together as a couple to live a quiet, peaceful life and find solace in the sacredness of their private emotional lover’s cocoon. In each other, the partners found support, mutual understanding, and tranquility. In this union, love was strengthened and endured by real actions and deeds, not just beautiful words.
Example Two
The couple met when they were each in their 20s, and they shared a lot of North Node links pointing to this relationship being very important for their soul growth, while also being very different from past connections. They had a lot of mutual Saturn aspects, which bound them to be in a long term relationship, as Saturn is the glue that holds us in commitment; but because the aspects were harder aspects, it also served its plate of spiritual lessons and the need for karmic balance, and had quite a bit of challenges they had to overcome and learn from, as well as facing their own inner selves as mirrors through each other.
They shared a deeply emotional connection also, as in the first example couple, and it was quite interesting to see because early on in their relationship, the man would often be spiritually guided to see her, find her, meet her, and while she didn’t feel attracted to him initially, he knew she was his destiny and he kept finding her. For example, once he was really late and after waiting for an hour she got annoyed, so she left the place they were meant to meet; and she went to spent some time in a library half an hour away in downtown New York. Not surprisingly though, he found her there! Absolutely not knowing where she’d go, and with so many other places nearby in the big busy city, and with her hiding in between the shelved, he just knew and found her.
They did sense each other’s emotions and thoughts often, which made them become very honest with each other and express themselves verbally as well, because they each had some people pleasing tendencies they were working through. Mainly, they shared a deep friendship, and while their relationship ended, what they each felt grateful for was their support and ability to be themselves throughout their union. It was this that helped both of them evolve qualities of their North Nodes, and step onto their individuals path later with greater faith and authenticity.
The purpose of their meeting and relationship was for both of them to give one another mutual understanding and support. The couple came together so that the partners could feel unconditional faith and support for each other. They became more fearless and brave to set big goals, make grand wishes, and express their aspirations, and they travel a lot while also believing in the impossible.
They met each other to actually radically change their lives, as echoed by their synastry, and both partners were also completely different from each other’s former partners, which further emphasized the newness of the energy they each brought to one another. While North Node relationships rarely last forever, depending on when the two people have met, this relationship was a major part of each of their lives leading them towards their destined partner; and after their separation, each stepped on their higher soul’s calling and had grown tremendously spiritually and emotionally also, which helped them find more love and soul fulfillment in their future.
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Cover art is a film still from the French movie Pierrot le Fou, 1965. All rights reserved to the artists.
