This is what love looks like.

The art above is the original cover art of one the most beloved short stories of all times, and my personal favourite, The Gift of the Magi written by O. Henry and published in 1905. I’ve loved it since the day I first read it because it is story about the pure and faithful love between two people, and the power of love, shown in its most humble yet meaningful way. This is a story that reminds us how miracles begin with human moments; and how true love exists only within selflessness. It is a story about the gift of love.

Jim and Della are a young couple living in a tiny apartment. Their finances are very tight, though they have two treasures: Della’s beautiful, long hair and Jim’s gold watch which belonged to his father and grandfather. It is Christmas eve and we follow a day in their lives as they each long to buy each other beautiful gifts.

Della is in tears because she doesn’t have money to buy Jim a gift. “One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all.” She plans in much detail the gift that she would like to give to “… Jim. Her Jim.”

Jim hasn’t been able to wear his beloved watch because the chain is broken, and knowing this, Della’s deepest wish is to buy him the watch chain he needs; however, it is too expensive and beyond what she has saved throughout the year. And so, she looks at her most treasured possession – her long beautiful hair. She decides to cut it off and sell it, because it’d give her the money she needs for the watch chain.

The story then takes us to Jim, as he too throughout this day longs to buy his darling Della what he thinks she’ll love most. She has beautiful hair and loves brushing it, so he decides to buy her a set of shell combs; but they too are really expensive, and so, he sells his watch to buy them.

In the evening when Jim comes home and sees her for the first time with her short hair, Della, feeling a little self-conscious, says,

“‘Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered,’ she went on with sudden serious sweetness, ‘but nobody could ever count my love for you.’”

Her hair is unimportant because she feels joy for the sacrifice she made for the man she truly loves.

Jim returns his love in a most gentle way,

“ ‘Don’t make any mistake, Dell,’about me. I don’t think there’s anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less.’” 

When he sees her gift he smiles, because he realizes her selflessness, and understands how he too did the same for her; and while their gifts now cannot technically be used, they have the real gift: the gift of their love. That’s the gift that really mattered anyway.

When Della, unknowingly, asks him to put on his watch now with the new chain, Jim tenderly tells her to leave the gifts for a while, and pulls her in his arms in an embrace.

He knows how true their love is; they are united in their willingness to make sacrifices for one another, with purity of heart and intention. While their gifts may not be “used”, what will remain of this day, and possibly until the rest of their lives, is the meaning of their gesture. They share true love of selflessness, and this is the real kind of love because love only exists through selflessness.

O. Henry ends the story with the following beautiful lines:

“The magi, as you know, were wise men—wonderfully wise men—who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.”

In this beautiful story O. Henry shows what pure love looks like, moves like, because this kind of pure divine Christ love isn’t up there in the skies – it is a very human one, it has human hands, it has human hearts.

Without selflessness there is no real love; and true intimacy and deep love can only happen when divisions dissolve, and two become one; two people merge their paths into one, and the suffering of one becomes the suffering of the other, and the happiness of one becomes the happiness of the other, and each holds the other, holding on holding strong through the waves and paths of life. The selflessness and sacrifice of the ego are needed in order to truly see another and love, and be able to be there for them in the way they need you to rather than in the way you think they need. 

Despite the young couple’s poor economic situation, they are rich in the spiritual world since both of them are willing to sacrifice their treasures for the happiness of their lover. People may often associate the word sacrifice for a negative word, but there is nothing negative about sacrifice when it is for love; it gives us pleasure to give to our loved ones, it fulfills us, it is what we long for. When you love someone truly, your family, your children, your parents, your spouse, you long to give to them – this is what makes you feel happy.

People who read this short story are often touched by their pure and selfless love between Della and Jim; they are reminded of the human moments that makes love divine and how our greatest gift is love itself – to love and be loved. It is a blessing to be able to love, to give. While the entire world is becoming increasingly materialistic and greedy, still there is simple and true love remaining. In O. Henry’s pure love stories, people see the selfless and great spirit—selfless sacrifice, which is the top realm of love, the most moving spirit among lovers and humanity itself.

Della’s character is inspired by O. Henry’s beloved wife Athol Estes. Athol was the symbol of pure love and service for love in O. Henry’s life and his inspiration for his pure love stories. She dedicated her entire life to O. Henry’s writing career and they deeply loved one another.

When O. Henry first met Athol Estes, he was a young guy who was full of energy and enthusiasm. He was attracted to Athol’s good looking and quiet temperament; and he fell in love with her at the first sight. Athol felt the same for him, and married him regardless of the opposition of her family.

Throughout their life she stood strong by his side and showed a full support for her husband’s career. She even borrowed money from her step father to help O. Henry run a magazine. Although this magazine was not successful, she encouraged him not to give up his dream. While their life was not rich in money, it was rich in spirit, love and true happiness. Those were the happiest days in the writer’s life.

While O. Henry worked for a bank as an accountant, he was accused of being involved in bank crime, so he had to leave his home and wife and children, to escape and live in exile. This hurt him deeply as he missed them; though during that time he experienced many things, which ended up becoming the inspirations for his short stories, which then made him a known and recognized writer. During that time, Athol did some embroidery to earn money and raise their daughter; but unfortunately she became ill. As soon as he heard of this, O. Henry rushed to see her without caring he’d be arrested; and he then spent two years in prison.

For the rest of his life thereafter, his love for Athol served as his inspiration for his pure love stories, and he longed to keep that spirit alive through them – this is what writing does, it keeps things. And it’s important for us to remember these stories, because our modern world often forgets what love looks like, moves like, sounds like.

And when we don’t see it, we forget it; and we begin to mistake other movements, shapes and sounds for love, but they are not true, they are distorted images and shapes of it. It seems we are living in an  increasingly selfish, ego centric, and often dehumanizing world, or have become robotic minded and too materialistic; a world where even art and culture no longer serve to inspire and enrich our lives; where true beauty too is almost lost among the fillers and filters, and the virtues too are on the extinction list. So it’s good to remind ourselves what love looks like, feels like, moves likes, sounds like. 

O. Henry’s story characters often sacrifice themselves for happiness for their lover without a complaint; and they show us the spiritual richness of selflessness. It is the writer’s own beautiful and moving love experience that speak of his firm belief – that although our modern world still speaks loud of materialism, there is still pure love among ordinary people. And there’s nothing more powerful than the power of love and the purity of heart.

When we reach our hands across the lines that separate us – to give to someone of pure heart and selflessness – we essentially touch the purity and divinity that true love is, and we ourselves expand through this. Love happens through this openness. This is why we see in Buddhism and Christianity the importance of being in service, and cultivating in ourselves the capacity to be able to love.

Love has various speeds and movements, shapes and forms. It unfolds though kindness, compassion, generosity, laughter, joy, playfulness, creativity, patience, listening, encouragement, gratitude, humbleness, tenderness, gentleness, trust, hope. All these are various shapes of love, movements of love. Love is something to be embodied through our every day hands and gestures, words and actions, no matter how ordinary it may seem, along the circling staircases of our life.

And there, throughout the years and all of our seemingly ordinary gestures, along the circling staircases of our life, if we choose to notice, truly notice, we’ll find that true miracles always begin with human moments.

For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.

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