In a world where we are often taught to fear “the other”, and highlight the many differences which separate us, I believe it is more important now than ever to also highlight all the things that bind us – our common wishes, hopes and all that makes us human; to give voice and shape and space to show all that which unites us, trusting and seeing how held and holding we can be together rather than fearing one another and our own inner selves.

The common wishes and hopes we all have: a better future for the children, a roof over our heads, food to eat on the table, warmth in our hearths, health, happiness and a hope like ever burning candle flame in our hearts; we share hopes and dreams for love, for goodness, for harmony and beauty, and living a life of purpose, fulfillment and meaning.

If we truly desire to foster unity, within and externally, we can’t wait for it to happen from externally or from others; I believe fostering unity begins with us – it begins with us, it begins with hands, hands reaching across the lines that separate us. And today, we’ll speak of one such way – of generosity and gratitude – for these are what open hearts, soften skins, open palms, so that we hold and are held.

Generosity is a humble quiet spirit that perseveres patiently, and shows a person has an opened and awakened heart. Generosity is one of the main spiritual gifts, and most people may wonder what’s the big deal of it, how is this a spiritual gift? Aren’t all people generous? The answer is no, they aren’t. And unfortunately it’s becoming quite rare to see true generosity in our modern world – the core reason of it seems to be closed hearts.

At its essence, generosity is the spiritual gift of the opened and awakened heart and spirit. It is that which opens us – open in palms, kindness and gestures, because neither fear nor lack exist in such openness. Selfishness and entitlement show a person’s lack and closed selves and limited inner worlds.

Generosity is a bridge – it is a bridge to receive, a bridge to connect, a bridge to your own inner deepening and opening. You can’t truly ever receive nor connect if you yourself are not opened to it; and whatever you may wish to receive, you may need to give of yourself to others first.

Leading with the generous spirit and heart means more than just “giving” though – it is about leading with freedom. It’s about taking away the little scorebooks in our pockets and tearing them into oblivion; it isn’t about who owes whom and closing ourselves further or desperately wanting to take, take, take because we feel empty inside of ourselves or think our own wells will dry up if we give of ourselves; it is about believing in our future, in ourselves, and standing rooted in our core spiritual self. We don’t give for others’ sake – we give for ours; to liberate our own spirits and open our own hearts.

Generosity allows us to live a life of full heart; and in the opening of our palms while giving to another, we realize the humbleness of life and humanity – and humbleness is the bridge to god and love. Because as we open our palms, we see that the hands that give and receive are one. Nothing is ever lost, only made, hopefully, more meaningful.

Practising generosity in a world so dried of lack and selfishness and entitlement can seem foolish. We often face those who can’t see nor appreciate, we often face disappointment and others’ ingratitude, so naturally we may pull back; and in truth, sometimes we must as we all must respect and revere into the universal law and truth of equivalent exchange of energy. And yet, paradoxically, it is precisely when we persevere with a generous spirit that we receive far greater than what we give. We see others in ourselves and ourselves in others.

We intend grace on others.

In us all, there is a temple of god – for some it may be a sleeping one, for some it may be an awakened one, for some it may sometimes sleepy sometimes playful and awake, but for us all – a temple inside us, in the home of our hearts, the space where our soul resides.

We are here to serve the temple of god in another – to show them light nor darkness; we are here to use our knowledge and wisdom to raise each other through the love and kindness we’ve been blessed with.

Generosity allows us to see the light not darkness, the vastness not lack. We begin to see the good that we would have missed otherwise. We realize that when we give to another, spirit itself moves through us, and we can’t help but simultaneously give to ourselves through our giving to another. Because just as still water ripples with every movement, so do our actions affect everything around us, including ourselves.

It is gratitude that moves our generosity, and what blocks us is entitlement. Entitlement’s cost is essentially our own limitation to growth. At the core of entitlement is a grasping nature; one that tends to forget what it has, while emphasizing what it doesn’t. As such, it is a negative and lack perspective and mindset – an inner world of selfishness and lack, and in many ways, it becomes a self imprisonment.

Entitlement underestimates what it takes from others, while overestimating what it gives to others. We live in a world where there is a lot of free content online and perhaps people have gotten used to taking while giving nothing in turn, forgetting the amount of time and energy the creator has dedicated into providing something for others to have for free. Entitlement is this creature within us that demands more and more, and stands in a posture that is immature and greedy, and like a little crunched back creature oversteps boundaries, walks into people’s space or houses and begins criticizing the furniture or decor and demanding things to be of its own personal liking.

Entitlement are those who think the world revolves around them; those who give unasked opinions masking them as “constructive criticism” or “just sharing their thoughts”. Entitlement are those who live poor spiritual lives and have never actually dedicated to anything nor understand what devotion and hard work are. It is those who lack trust, faith and inner abundance.

Gratitude is a posture of trust – because it makes us bigger.

When one lives in the confinement of entitlement, one cannot ever fully grasp the depth and essence of things. We may have eyes but cannot see, we may have ears, but cannot hear – because true wisdom is only ever received by the awakened heart; because if the inner doors are not opened, nothing can be found, perceived nor ever realized within and without, internally and externally, and yet the key is only in our hands and free will.

Take a moment to reflect on your own relationship to entitlement and gratitude:

What does gratitude feel like for you? What does entitlement mean to you, and how has it shown up for you? 

If you imagined yourself remarkably grateful, what would it look like, what would it feel like, how would it show in your actions to others?

How would others experience you?

Where would you spend your time and energy? What and whom would you support?

What would you pay more attention to? What would you pay less attention to?

Ways to practice gratitude and generosity:

Everyday, do one act that you know is valuable to someone else, just to build the habit of serving. Do it especially if they don’t know it’s you.

Support someone whose work you love and learn from, or has given you feelings of happiness. Encourage someone on their path. Be a listening ear, be a holding hand, be a hand extending and giving.

Give up on gossiping, judging, critiquing, and giving unasked advices or opinions for a month. Take the lead forward, take it one step forward, and don’t say anything negative nor judgmental nor “constructively critical” about someone or something unless it’s truly necessary. Try to give people the benefit of a doubt, and try to focus on what they are doing right or how they are able to show up in your life.

Self reflect on what you focus on. For example, if you read a text or book, do you focus on the “mistakes” or fonts, or are you able to look into the essence of the writing and shift your eyes inward towards self knowledge and use this as an opportunity for a deepening. What you choose to focus on or see gives you great insight into your inner state of being and where you are on your path. Don’t distract yourself from yourself, and try to see beyond the external veils of things.

Take each night for nightly contemplation bringing into your mind, or writing onto a paper with pen, three things for which you are grateful. Do it for one month. Self reflect on whether you experienced something today which may have been an answered prayer from your night before.

Each morning say thank you beginning your day as you open your eyes. This moment matters and it is a gift, it is a gift to be alive and have hands with which to hold, eyes with which to see, nose with which to smell sweet things and flowers, and lips and tongue with which to give love and kindness a shape and form into this world.

Reflect where in your life you can show more gratitude and be more open, giving and generous – generous with supporting someone financially, emotionally and with your presence and listening, and grateful for how they may have shown for you.

Everything in life is a relationship, and we are in a continuous relationship with all – no one is ever “single”. Love and relationships are not just romantic ones, these beliefs are infantile and teenager like. In each day we have relationships with others whether family or the cashiers in the store; we have our relationship to ourselves and our own body has its relationship to us and all of our cells inside of us which do the best they can each day no matter how we speak to it; and even our feet are in a relationship to the streets upon which we walk. The way we treat one is a merely reflection, whether small or big, bright or dimmer one, in the way we treat another. The path begins in the heart.

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For more of my writings, browse through my Art of Love.

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Cover art by Conrad Kiesel, The Wild Roses. 

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