A relationship is like an ocean – when one partner goes through the big waves, the other is there calmer holding their hand, and when the other is then taken by the waves, the first is now there to hold them calmly. But no matter the waves, no matter the winters we’ll sometimes hold, no matter the unseen horizons and shores because we are just on the tail of whale for a while learning trust, we’re the ocean, we hold each other, hand in hand, holding on holding strong. Because in the you of you is the me of me is us, of us is love.
We cannot separate our breath from ourselves, so the only way we become aware of it and deepen into love, self understanding and union is through seeing it as a walking body outside of us first – through the one we love. The beloved becomes the external walking life force of us, because when we truly love someone boundaries dissolve – we let go of our own limits, judgments and conditions and our sensory body extends in way to take in within us someone else – because love is a seeing and of being seen, a knowing and of being known, not of flesh but through the flesh. True intimacy dissolves boundaries, love is a peeler – it peels off the layers that separate us from another until the intangibles merge and we raise ourselves in a fragrance of love.
When we love someone truly we take them into us, we love them as we love ourselves, we want the best in them, and in their eyes we see an aspect of the divine. They become our heart, the home of our heart, our church and each part of us – not in a dependence way, but in a union way. We become selfless, more open, more giving, more humble and in deeper surrender.
We cannot separate our breath from ourselves, so in the other, in our beloved, we recognize this divine breath and we treasure it, and through this we treasure our own breath and come into deeper breathing, love, union. Our soulmate is essentially our external walking breath. This is how we view and see them and perceive them, but the relationship itself needs to be based upon selfless service.
There are four main principles upon which love can be sustained: integrity, in service to other, tolerance and humility. Without integrity there isn’t much else; we must be willing to walk our talk and do the right thing even when no one is watching; we need to be aligned to certain higher values. Integrity is about actions and it is what creates trust; and as we know, trust is what all relationships are built upon.
Then comes the selfless service – the recognition of the one breath, of our union, of our desire to devote and give to the other what they need, not what we want in turn nor what we want to receive. We shift our eyes away from self and towards the other for we recognize we are all part of one. The beloved is one for whom the real wealth in life is service. Just the opportunity to be able to love another is what gives the soul its depth of experience regardless of what the other is; and the gift of being in service to another, and humanity, is what gives it wealth and purpose and true joy in heart and soul.
Then is the tolerance – our ability and willingness to accept different perspectives from ours, while staying true to our core essence. It is the ability to stay true to yourself and do the right thing regardless of whether others see it and appreciate it, and even when you are misunderstood you continue to do the right thing because it’s the right thing because you love for God’s sake not for people’s opinions – real love means to express your service no matter if you are in popular situation or in the quiet rooms.
And then is the humility – our bridge to love. Humility is what gives us the right proportions in life and within the vast fabric of the universe and the interconnection of all and everything; and it is what connects us to another and to life itself more deeply. The word humility itself comes from the meaning of “being of the earth”, which is about the present moment and being grounded. It is about patience and gratitude and faith and trust. It is all within itself. We cannot love without humility, and we cannot connect to anything meaningful without humility. Humility is love, is trust, is faith.
Love is a seed of God, which then grows inside of us, and we become a church of skin, a warm shelter for all.
The beloved is also a seed of God. It is said that the more we love our beloved, the more we love all other people. The beloved is a window through which we see all other souls and their immense beauty. So when we are in love with our soul’s beloved, we love everyone, or at the very least, we have compassion for all, and respect the divine spark and nature each human being and creature on earth holds.
And in turn, when we love others, we are making a connection to our soul’s beloved, regardless of where they are; and whether we know them yet or not, we are energetically sending them love – which they feel and it changes their life also. They might suddenly feel an inspirational idea, a loving thought, come across a loved song or lyric, or a beautiful dream unfolds and wraps them throughout their entire day. We can also send people healing when we speak I love you to them even if only in our mind.
True love is selfless and unconditional. True love doesn’t hurt, it heals and transforms; it is only people who hurt people. Love doesn’t hurt, so let go of these false beliefs. True love is pure and it is also changeless. It doesn’t depend on who the person is, or even what they say or feel for us; love is love because it is its nature and essence. Ice, snow, vapour, rainlife or waves, water is still water regardless of the shapes it temporarily takes. It may engage with all and everything around it, it may be moved, but it still remains in its true essence, it is not swayed away from itself – it stays true to itself.
Our love too may change shapes and forms of expression through the years, but its essence doesn’t change – we still love those we truly love. Surely sometimes due to circumstance or imbalance of energies, we may not be together with someone romantically, but if it was of true love, then it doesn’t matter – we love them and that’s enough. The compassion of rhythm and higher understanding and acceptance take over us.
It is said that when we are blessed with a soulmate, whether a family member, a child or a beloved, it is a real blessing. It is special and divine – it is a gift and we must treasure it, for there is nothing more powerful than experiencing love in its true deep level. And it is peaceful, and it feels like home. Because it is the home of our heart.
Appreciate the love you have in your life. Hold it lovingly yet tightly, protect it, nurture it and tend to it with attentiveness and care each day. And be grateful, always – because love is sacred, it is blessed and a blessing, and it bears the seed of God. How you choose to grow it within the church of skin, through your every day gestures and movements of both lips and hands, that’s a decision only you can make. This is what will pave your path forward, and within yourself. And there, in your heart, is the kingdom of heaven.
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Cover art is a film still from the film Drums of Love, 1928, Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.
