Today we’ll dive into some curious little things that I’ve discovered through my long work with spiritual astrology, ancient mysteries and mysticism. I’ve written previously on spirit babies and how souls come into reincarnation choosing their parents, and you can learn more about that in my article Spirit Babies and Conscious Conception, and you can also learn about the basic concept of the lineage of consciousness that connects parent and child in my article Spiritual Astrology Insights on the Higher Purpose of Parent-Child Relationships.
And now let’s continue our talk diving into the astrology and the dharmic links between parents and their children. How can we guide our children to fulfill their life’s purpose, and how do they help us deepen along our own spiritual paths also?
I’ve seen this to be true over and over again through analyzing countless natal charts and synatry between parents and children: there are almost always without exception powerful links of both dharma and karma. The first borns are almost always sharing some of the major aspects of their parents, or at least one of the parents, even the rare ones. For example, having a stellium in a chart is a rare occurence, and children born with stelliums usually have one of their parents having a stellium in their natal charts also.
For other people, depending on what their soul needed to learn most, their child will be born during a transit that will reflect this. For example, if a woman really wants to live a more independent life of creative self-expression and authenticity, perhaps her child will be born during an important Uranus transit. For another woman, who is really intuitive and emotional, perhaps her child will be born with strong water placements and they’ll both bond and unite in these waters for their mutual soul evolution.
We see our children through our natal 5th house – however – their conception is seen through our natal 8th. Our natal 8th house is our place of deep intimacy – where boundaries dissolve so that we merge with our beloved and swim in the deep waters where we can be transformed as well. It is a very sensitive house which rules our deep psychology and inner transformations, and it is one of the three moksha houses i.e. houses of spiritual liberation. In this house we feel very vulnerable and there is a need to feel emotionally connected to our partner through intimacy – to feel like we are one. It is also a house of trust. But in this house we also store and hide all that we don’t want to be seen yet all that affects us very deeply and leaves us feeling vulnerable. In this way, it also stores psychological things or traumas, and there is a need for purification through an almost alchemical way.
For our own children, our natal 8th house sits four aspects away – and this forth aspect is an aspect of their heart’s ability to love and nurture. Our heart has two chambers – one receive blood, and the other pumps out blood. The inner way of the heart is seen through our natal 4th house – which the house of our heart, soul, home within, church within, deepest emotional self, lineage of the soul, moksha, and as it receives blood through the first heart chamber, this is the house showing our ability to love and our ability to nurture. When we are able to be open and trusting, our children are able to love more deeply also as we give to them our love and they receive it through the heart chamber.
And the 5th house is the second chamber of the heart, pumpin out blood, or expression the heart energy outward through our freedom of expression, joy, playfulness and creativity – which is why our children are seen through our 5th house.
And so – our children’s ability to love and to nurture in life traces back to our ability to be vulnerable and intimate with our own partner and with our own selves, which shapes the way we’ll raise them, in addition to how we handle our own inner transformations and the deeper dynamics within our relationships. And our children’s ability to express that love through creativity and joy, or their ability to pump out the energy of the heart, is seen through our natal 9th house, which is our dharma house of higher spirituality, travel, knowledge, faith and wisdom.
Now let’s go back to our natal 4th house. In astrology we may often see the storage of karma of a particular matter from the fourth position of itself. So for example, the storage of our karma, i.e. self and ascendant, is our 4th house – which is our home, early childhood, emotional self, subconscious self, our mother, our sense of nurturing, and our home land. The 4th house is also a moksha house like the 8th but it is an angular house showing the its ultimate importance. In fact, it is our key to happiness. We cannot feel happy if we haven’t settled into peace all that is in our heart. Being an angular house shows its importance of stability in our life to feel happy – because the 4th house is about deep emotional stability, from which we can then build the four walls of our house throughout life.
The 4th house is where God resides – as it is said that God resides in our heart, and with its chamber of receiving blood, or life energy, it is our very beginning of life. The 4th house is the deepest part of ourselves that we keep hidden from everyone, yet we find comfort in and always go back to, and since it is ruled by the moon, it relates to the lineage of the soul and the gifts we bring into this life from past lives. Remember that karma is the positive things also, and all the blessings, gifts, talents and spiritual treasures we’ve earned from the past. The 4th house also refers to our home and family, so the way our parents deal with their stuff affects our karma and life path.
When the parents haven’t dealt with some of their aspects, these transfer onto the child. For example, if the parents had harder aspects regarding their self-confidence in their natal chart, if they don’t deal with it or shine some awareness onto this, the child may be born with an aspect reflecting that also. Psychologically we know this is true because we often project our things onto others if we are not aware of it – which is why our self-awareness is the greatest gift we can give not only to ourselves but to others also – especially our children. Once the parents deal with their aspects and bring their awareness on that, the next borns usually do not have these.
And where is the karma of our own parents and grandparents stored? It is embodied through our children (i.e. 4th placement from the 2nd house is the 5th house of children). What this means is that if we want to help our parents’ energy we should treat our grandparents well, and it is also why children carry many imprints and karmic lineages from their grandparents.
We also give forth our talents and creative skills to our children. And their talents, gifts and creative expression is reflected through our marriage and relationships – because the 3rd placement from the 5th house is the 7th house of marriage, intimate relationships and our own ability to form closer bonds in life. What does that mean?
The way we deal with intimate bonds and the spouse and relationships, will show the skills and talents, potentials or obstacles, of our children.
In other words: If I don’t know how to appreciate others, how would I know how to appreciate my own child’s talents and creativity and encourage him or her? In my inability to deal with intimate bonds, I would also in a way constraint my child’s self expression.
And where are the hopes and wishes of our children found (i.e. 11th placement from the 5th house)? It is in our 3rd house of self-expression, natural gifts, talents, creative skills, and soul’s courage.
In other words: If I learn to express myself, to develop my natural skills, gifts and talents, to put effort in my work and be courageous in following my passions, I would actually be helping my own child fulfill its hopes and wishes in this life.
In a way, one of the deepest hopes and wishes of our children is that we ourselves as their parents live a life of heart’s fulfillment and creative self-expression.
This means – develop yourself because your child would need you to fulfill its own dharma. Self-awareness is the greatest gift you can gift your child.
I sometimes have clients who are so worried about whether if they get a divorce they’ll hurt their child, or constantly living in guilt and blame for their actions. And I say to them, and I say to you now – your child, before being born through you, knew you exactly as you are on a soul level, knew your’s soul path and all the choices you will make in your life if you follow your heart. And they chose you precisely because of this, because they aligned to your energy and vibration.
As long as you are following your own heart and stay aligned to what’s true for you – your child is aligned to its own purpose also and on its path. The only thing you must ever do is just stay true to yourself and your soul’s truth.
When two souls fall in love, kiss and merge, a third soul is born: the soul of their relationship. Of love, a child is born also. A child that has chosen you because through your living in your truth and in your heart, it knows that it will fulfill its own soul’s purpose. There is nothing to doubt and fear, only love, love, love. That’s all your child ever wanted you to do anyway. As long as you are happy, your children will be happy. If you are in a bond that is no longer able to be worked through, perhaps a separation is your path forward if this is what will make you happier.
The dharma of your child, which is seen through the 9th placement from the 5th house, is your very own house of self – it is your ascendant and path of life. Self-knowledge and working on your self is what will assure and support your child as it walks through its own very unique path of life also. Because when we ourselves feel more at peace within and staying true to ourselves and take care of our overall health and wellbeing, our child is able to more freely follow its own heart and soul also.
Our children do not belong to us, but they belong with us.
They are gentle precious souls born, born initially vulnerable in their tiny bodies but they are not things to be possessed nor owned nor vessels to be filled.
They are candles to be lit with our love and support.
We guide them and allow them the space to grow as they need to. They are their own little seeds, little flowers and fruits that they’ll grow into, and all they need from us is our love, our attention, our listening and the nurturing of our loving hands.
They are our greatest blessing, because through them we learn more than perhaps we ever could have otherwise.
Essentially, parent-child relationships are an opportunity for a deepening; they are meant to be a partnership towards expansion and awakening through the beautiful reflections that they offer us.
For example, let’s say that when you were a child you didn’t get much attention from your parents because they were working too much or they didn’t know how to express themselves emotionally towards you in that way you needed them to. You needed them to be more present with you, but they just weren’t for whatever reason, and perhaps you suppressed that by becoming a “doer” in your adulthood.
Your own child may then perhaps be born really cuddly and affectionate, needing and wanting all of your affection and wanting to spend time with you. They are born with a gift to be fully present with you and the emotional capacity and sensitivity to engage with people on a deeper level. Friction will arise every time when they want attention but you tell them you are busy because you are still functioning of your doer or work-focused mentality.
If you can sit still and look back to reflect, and realize that this is actually your greatest blessing and gift now – to be able to fulfill your previously unfulfilled desire of emotional affection – because this is your opportunity to finally have what you have always wanted and longed for in your heart and soul. By doing this, you will also enable your own child’s consciousness to expand as it needs to rather than be limited because of you.
Your conflicts with your children are always an opportunity to recognize and gain awareness into an area of your own inner life. And when you deal with it, the conflicts will likely settle into peace more easily.
Children come into our life with their own unique mission and soul’s purpose. But when we are burdened by our own stuff unable to self-reflect, we will not be able to provide them the space in which their own true essence will shine. We need to clear our own views – so that we can see them and hear them more clearly; and realize what decisions we are making for their own wellbeing rather than out of our own unfulfilled desires and self-centered reasons. Often times in relationships, we give what we want to receive rather than what the other person actually needs. Take each interaction with your child as an opportunity to reflect on your own thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, motivations, self limitations and values.
Allow yourself to grow and learn through them because in many ways they are your mini little spiritual guides, almost angelic beings, coming with human hands to hold you as much as you hold them; and to love you more than you ever loved yourself, reminding you of the blessing that you are. And through the love that you feel for them – because there’s no greater love than that of a mother towards her child – it is inavitable that we love more deeply all and return to our heart. It is love and only love that is the greatest purpose of it all.
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