“my sweet child
you began with a knowing in my heart
ever since i was a child myself
i carried you in my heart and i loved you
i loved you so deeply before i ever even saw you
and then, one day when i sat beside the wild roses
you came as a thought in my mind
as a decision that i was ready for you now in my life
and wanting you, inviting you, dreaming you
in the way of water, you are now finally
you are, you are, you are in my loving arms”
I’ve previously written on this topic in both my articles Spirit Babies and Conscious Conception and Manifestation & Motherhood: Communicating with Your Spirit Baby, so consider reading these as well, and tonight, let’s focus solely on the guiding and practical steps for the beautiful process of conscious conception.
In our modern day, the term “conscious conception” refers to the practice of calling in our baby into our body and into our life with mindful intention and awareness. It is essentially about creating and holding a loving space and home for our future child, and this process can start years pre-conception, even before we’ve ever even met the man with whom we’ll conceive.
When we think of preparing for conception we often focus on preparing our bodies – however, preparing one’s mind, emotions and spirit for a more holistic approach can make it an even more powerful and transformative experience. Conscious conception is a gentle and loving initiation. It is about facing and letting go of any conditioned beliefs around motherhood and birth, relieving any fears we may have and settling ourselves into peace and inner knowing, deepening our trust in divine timing and in ourselves, and preparing our body, mind and spirit for conception.
There are no shoulds. Conscious conception is a very personal experience. Whether you begin while you are single, or together with your loving partner, conscious conception is meant to be authentic to you and the unique life that you will bring into the world. In practicing this, you are essentially cultivating and nourishing a deeper connection between you, your partner and your spirit child; you learn to trust the process, and move through some of the expectations, pressures, fears or judgments that can be present as you call your baby forth.
The process of conscious conception is similar to manifestation – and in fact, this sacred practice goes back to ancient times and feminine mystery schools. The high priestesses would train for many years to master their life force energy, purify their mind, body, and soul, balance their emotional bodies, harness sexual energy, and reach higher states of consciousness, or self-awareness and mastery – and through the power of their womb, they would call in and pull in all they desired, including a child.
Our womb is our manifestation portal as it is connected to our sacral chakra – we call in things through its energy, and eventually we begin to express and manifest our love in physical form. We all make art – we write, dance, paint, garden, cook, and we birth babies. All of these are the result of our creative energy, also known as our life force energy or our sexual energy. We create all things when we use the power of intention and align our heart, will, focus, body, mind and feelings towards it. Once the soul of the “it”, whatever that “it” is, is pulled into our energy, it is imbued with our consciousness and then eventually comes into physical form in its own timing. While in this article we are referring to the birth of a child, conscious conception can be anything in life. It is manifestation itself.
Indigenous artist and childbirth educator Wakeah Jhane writes,
Long before she was ever born … her first home was in my heart. When I was a little girl I knew I would have children. I did my best to live my life the best I could for them. To honour them. I didn’t always make the right decisions – but I was always mindful. He became my love, and out of our love for each other you were born. You became our love in physical form. First carried in my heart, then my womb, now you rest peacefully in our arms, our everything.”
It all begins in the heart, always.
It’s important to remember that your path and experience with conscious conception is sacred, unique and special to you and only you. It is incomparable to anyone else’s, and no matter how long it takes, or what it takes to get there, you should settle into the peace of your heart, knowing that everything is as it should. Because it is.
Perhaps more than anything, whether we believe in conscious conception or not, through its beautiful practice we come into more self-love and learn to nourish our mind, body and soul in even more ways than ever before.
And now, dear hearts, let’s begin.
Phases of Pre-Conception.
Before diving into the specific steps, we need to first understand the phases of pre-conception. There are said to be four main phases of pre-conception or connection to our spirit child.
Phase one is the child’s visible presence in our energy field. Its soul may be hanging around for years, long before we are even thinking about conception or emotionally ready to have a child. It can also be with us as early as our own childhood, if we have had a soul contract with it, or it may appear at conception. In any case – once visible in our energy field, it has chosen us and wants to connect.
The second phase is known as the pathway to the heart and this is when we begin to establish our heart connection, synchronizing heartbeats, which is described in depth further below in this article. We also become more emotionally aligned to it and begin to form an energetic stream from our heart towards its soul. This connection is usually created 6 months to 3 years before conception and pregnancy. During this time you are essentially creating alignment of heart, rhythm, and getting to know each other. You may even feel sudden strong urges to find a partner, or have dreams about your child. Embrace this unique cycle and timing – it may flow in and out of your awareness and feeling, but don’t doubt it, allow it to be as it is. In this phase, you are blessed to be able to feel your baby and deepen your connection in an almost magical way. Further below in this article, we go into various ways you can communicate with your spirit child as I guide you through practical steps.
The third phase is the pathway to our mind – or the back of our head and neck. This part of our body is associated with the Hebrew letter Kof or Kuf, (ק), meaning holy. Kof is associated with the part of our brain, and back of neck, that are connected to intuition, and subconscious reactions such as sneezing. It is also known as the “needle’s eye” and I often think that it is through a needle’s eye that we can still see very clearly the distant unseen things, when our senses are sharpened. It is a human path we walk, through the gates of invisibility, and into the worlds of the all-encompassing, the truly meaningful, the worlds of love. This third phase usually begins creation from 3 months to 2 years before conception. For many people, the pathways both heart and mind happen simultaneously, or for some, the mind comes before the heart connection. In this third phase, particularly if you are highly intuitive, you can develop a strong telepathic connection. You may also start noticing changes in your thinking and even behaviours. Though many of these impressions are unconscious, they are actually coming from your baby.
The forth phase is of course, the pathway to the womb, which happens up to 6 months prior to conception. This phase is essentially connecting an energy pathway to the back of your body in the area of your womb or sacral chakra. Once this connection is build, it won’t be long before the woman conceives, even if she had not planned of it at all. In some cases, this pathway exists but it may take a year or so for conception to happen. While it is no guarantee that pregnancy will occur, it is certainly a great indication. Once you are pregnant (yay!) you will begin this new phase of connection with your child where your energies will begin to re-organize, and synchronize further both heartbeats and consciousness, as your baby’s consciousness will be flowing in and out of this portal. If you are more attuned sensitively, or have extra-sensory perception, you will know when your baby is close and inside your body. During the times when you don’t feel it, you might worry that something is wrong but don’t worry, you are only perceiving the shift of energy – know it is okay and it is natural for it to flow in and out of your body for the first two trimesters. It is completely natural for your baby to shift itself to the inner planes in early pregnancy – and its consciousness will come fully to stay usually in the last two-three months of your pregnancy
Trust. Divine timing, divine plans.
I believe that any woman who desires to be pregnant has a soul wanting her, desiring her and waiting to connect to her. Otherwise, you will not have that desire in the first place. Some women feel this and know this since they were little girls – and it is usually because they have a soul contract to be a mother to a specific soul, and the soul of their child will be orbiting in and out and around their aura throughout their life. Other women decide they want this later on, and a spirit child comes into their energy then. Almost always though, the mother-child bond is from past lifetimes. Psychics will usually be able to see if there is already a spirit child in your aura, floating around, waiting and ready to be born. You can read all about this in my article about Spirit Babies.
Choosing to consciously conceive essentially means that you are opening yourself up to the spirit realm so that you develop a deeper connection to your child before they are born.
The hardest thing for women who want a child though is of course the question: When? The answer to this is not up to us, as it is often in divine timing, divine order, divine plan. When and how your baby will come into your life is not set – it can be years, it can be months, or it can be dependent on other things such as, have you found the right man for you, have you fulfilled your own soul’s desires that you had to fulfill before motherhood, etc. It could also be through natural birth, in-vitro, adoption etc.
Deep in your heart and soul – you may probably already know if you truly desire a child in this life, and if that’s the case, I can promise you that you’ll have one – because you could not have had that desire in the first place if you weren’t meant to experience it.
When it comes to our own pregnancy though, one thing is for certain – do not worry.
I can’t even begin to tell you the many stories I’ve heard, and personally know, about women being told they’ll never have a child and only few months later they become pregnant naturally and suddenly, leaving their gynecologists in disbelief; and about women conceiving in their late 40s naturally and giving birth to healthy playful babies. There are so many stories like that. As women we are faced with constant shame and bombardment of when to have a child and that our clocks are ticking. No, it’s not.
There are other clocks, unclockable, beyond the lines of our clocks – and these are the ones that really, and only, matter. There, time is a matter of timing, unstrikable by the physical hands of our clocks. Sensitive to a seeing, experiencing and a certain kind of intimacy, beyond our understanding. Unpredictable, in the elasticity of the cosmic fabrics.
When it’s time, it’s time. No matter if you think you are ready or not, when it’s time, it’s time.
Mother-child soul contracts are really important, and are the hardest to break, so be assured it will happen in divine timing, outside of our human clocks, and all will be in high order. Your child chooses you knowing all there is to know about you on a soul level. So don’t feel unready or not good enough. Nothing is not as it should.
One of the hardest spiritual lessons in manifestation, or creation, is that the outside doesn’t matter. No matter what is going on externally, no matter how slow or non-existent or contradicting or confusing – it doesn’t matter. All that matters is for you to keep the connection to your heart, the knowing of your truth and heart’s desire, to trust in yourself, divine order and divine timing, and to be able to reconnect to the divine and to higher faith at any given time through your heart regardless of the external people and circumstances.
It’s the same with your creative work – when you’ve been working with your skills and talents, or on a creative project for years, and yet nothing is happening, you are not being seen nor recognized – should you give up? No. Find a way to re-energize yourself, to re-motivate yourself, to find your passion again and again and again, re-connect to your why, and trust, trust, trust in yourself and in the divine.
Let go of pressures and worries.
The pressures of our cultures on controlling timing, instant gratification, and goal and achievement focused mentalities have all swayed us away from remembering patience and trust. Conception is not something we can control the timing of, and it is definitely not just another goal to be achieved, or award won – it is rather a blessing and a gift to be received when we are given it. And it’s certainly not a competition.
Conception is a miracle in life. All human life is sacred and we were all breathed our souls into human life, into physical being. But it is not an easy thing to happen.
There are many decisions along the way, and obstacles, and it takes a lot of bravery and strong powerful energy for souls to incarnate into the physical realm. It is indeed often time described as a traumatic experience for the soul to be birthed – so it has its own divine timing and the child soul needs to be ready. Patience and compassion are needed – because this is not just about us. We all also have our own soul’s purpose which has to be aligned in its perfect time and circumstance, so that the soul can then fulfill it.
What about miscarriages? Does that mean we didn’t love or want our child enough? No. As heartbreaking as it, we need to try to stay away from such harmful thoughts. We need to remember that the womb is only a vessel for this soul, and sometimes, as much as the soul wants us and we want it, it just decides it isn’t quite ready to be born yet. In more cases than not, the soul does come back, and the woman may become pregnant again with it in as little as a few months later.
Know that there are no coincidences and you’ll have your child. Stay clear in your intention, creating loving space for it, while loosening the tightness of your grip to let go of expectations and surrender to divine timing. Remember that surrender and gratitude are the last phases of manifestation. The practice of surrendering can support us in the next step towards motherhood – the unknowns in pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
Communicating with your baby.
Now, this might seem a little too spiritual but I believe that if you’ve read this article so far, you know this to be true and would be open to it. At the very least, this practice would expand your heart and open you to trust, belief and allowing – and as any manifestation process, our words and voice matter.
You can read all about the many ways to communicate with your baby in my article Manifestation & Motherhood: Communicating with Your Spirit Baby.
Once you’ve been blessed with your spirit baby, you can start communicating gently with it, so that it knows it is loved, welcomed, and wanted in your own life also. Remember that you have free will, and as it has chosen you, you need to choose it too. Talking to our spirit baby will build a deeper soul connection between the two of you for when it is born. As this is essentially pre-conception – your baby may be with you for years before you ever even met the man with whom you’ll conceive it.
How to talk to it? However feels true for you. You can try placing your hands on your belly, and either thinking or saying out loud how much you love your baby and want it and how many beautiful things are here to experience, like tasting chocolates! Incarnation is a scary process for the soul, so the soul needs to know it is loved, wanted and welcomed.
Spirit babies communicate through the subtle body, which is our intuitive body, so the more intuitive we are as women, the easier we’ll sense, and thus, understand the emotions and needs of our child.
As an example, try this as part of your self-love routine next time after a bath, shower or before bedtime when you are applying your body oil or lotion. Rub oil on your belly, put your hands on it, and gently say or think,
for you my child, my body is open,
for you my child, my mind is open,
for you my child, my heart is open,
by earth, air, fire and sea,
in my arms you will be.
If you feel uncomfortable speaking with words, you can think this. Of course, words carry vibration and the vibration of sound is a powerful component of any manifestation or creation process. You can also dance, or watch beautiful things – remember that all these will, in some shape or form, imprint on consciousness. In the old days, and still today in more spiritually aware communities, as soon as the woman decided in her mind and heart that she’d want to have a child, she would be told to be aware of what she watched, listened to, spoke, ate, read, and what people she surrounded herself with, as all of these carry their own vibrations, and imprint on the child’s consciousness.
Believe or not – there are many ways in which we communicate, not just with tongues and lips. The ways of hands, the way of touch, the way of movement, the way of scent and sound, the way of feeling and thinking, the way of believing – all these are unique languages and when we understand their messages, we become more conscious.
Synchronizing heartbeat rhythms.
We all know that however a mother feels during her pregnancy will be imbued on the child and its personality, as well as heartbeat. If a mother is constantly anxious or neurotic, the baby’s heartbeat will be more irregular, and may end up overly crying as a child being more anxious, distrusting or fearful. If the mother’s heartbeat is more calm and steady – if she is more relaxed in her life, feeling loved, supported and cared for, doing things she enjoys and being with calm loving people also – the baby will have a more steady heartbeat and calm energy.
Heartbeat synchronization begins years pre-conception, while the child is still a soul around the mother’s aura.
It is up to three years pre-conception that the energetic heart link between mother and child begins to be build and form, as well as their telepathic link also – which imbues the mother’s thoughts to her child.
One thing we can do, and this is certainly for our own wellbeing as well, is start practicing our heart rhythm towards calmness and steadiness.
The natural rhythm of all of us is, of course, unconditional love. It is the heaven on earth frequency of the high heart. It is compassion, tenderness, loving and being loved, cared for and caring, forgiveness, peacefulness, joyfulness, kindness, empathy and openness.
Breath is important, and it is a way to communicate with the spirit realm also – as we essentially imprint our energy on what we are visualizing and manifestation through the breath.
Breath is a kind of language which tells us how we feel about situations and people – it fastens when we feel danger, and as babies we even try to instinctively “stop breathing” by crying a lot. When we want to feel more – we open our mouths and breathe in; and when we want to feel less – we stop our breath by breathing out, closing our mouths and shifting our heads away from someone. The beauty about breath is that not only how we feel affects how we breathe, but how we breathe will affect how we feel.
It is a common belief that we breathe with our lungs but breathing is done by our whole body – and it affects our whole body, including our heartbeat rhythms. As we already learned, heartbeat synchronization with our spirit baby begins up to three years pre-conception – that’s when the energetic heart link between mother and child begins to be built and form. The way the mother feels, and the rhythm of her heartbeat, affects the vibration and eventual formation of the spirit child’s own heartbeat rhythm.
Ways to practice your heartbeat rhythm is essentially to lead a more fulfilled life of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being:
- Choose the right man for you; one who gives you love, emotional stability, peace, harmony and support
- Take care of your health – mind, body, emotions and soul
- Deep breaths, in and out, and surround yourself with calmness and serenity
- Do things that fulfill you and give you joy and pleasure
- Be mindful of the people in your life and do not be afraid to cut toxic patterns and people
- Create more consistency and stability in your life
- Develop your intuition and balance your emotion body, so that you feel more aligned
- Practice meditation, yoga or dancing, as dancing too is a state of embodiment, presence, release, surrender and wholeheartedness
- Increase your feminine energy of love, compassion, calmness and tenderness
As you harmonize your rhythms, you will also set a calmer energy in your auric field for your spirit baby to feel more calm as well, and you’ll develop a deeper connection. Through leading a more peaceful and stable life, you yourself will be able to feel more aligned, more connected to self, more loving towards self, and increase your overall well-being.
Align to your natural rhythm.
In addition to heartbeat synchronization, we can align to our body’s natural rhythm through breath, sound, and movement. It is important to learn the language of our body, to get in tune with our body, and with the natural cycles of our unique emotional and physical wild lands. There are many articles out there about moon cycles but the truth is: Our moon cycles and phases are unique to us. Each month we go through our waxing and waning phases, where sometimes we feel more intuitive and inward looking, and other times more creative and extroverted. Many people may say that new moon are for initiation and new beginnings – but perhaps for you, it is the full moons. Know your body rhythms as this allows for a deepening of self-understanding and increases our intuition also, as we sharpen our senses.
Nowadays it is very common for women to start on birth control in their teen years and stay on it until they decide to start a family. But birth control is just really something we should try to avoid. There is also a lot of evidence that shows clearly how women on birth control have their senses numbed, particularly their olfactory senses – and for us as women, scent is how we choose and sense the right partner for us. There is a lot of research on that, so I allow you to research on your own.
You should of course consult with your doctor, but you may try to stay off birth control for at least a year before trying to conceive, to allow your hormones to level out – and so that you understand and align to your own body and natural rhythms again. Our body knows what it needs, always. And when we can understand its language, we’ll be able to better care for ourselves.
Breath work and mindfulness practices are very helpful also. You can also rub oil on your belly, and lovingly put your hands on it, imagining your baby. Inhale and exhale, as you build a deeper connection to your body. Daily movements like gentle stretching, walking, hiking, and dancing are also great ways to feel more in your body and maintain exercise. Moving your hips is particularly a great way to feel more embodied in your feminine energy and opens your auric field. Be gentle on yourself, listen to your body and recognize that it is doing its best every day and every night. Accept yourself for all that you already are – because love is, in its essence, about acceptance – acceptance of self, of the other, of the circumstance.
In the Mohawk language, one word for midwife is iewirokwas. This word describes that “she’s pulling the baby out of the Earth”, out of the water, or a dark wet place. Connecting to the natural elements and aligning ourselves to our natural flow is important. This is also another way we can keep all aspects of our body in balance. As you know, in holistic wellbeing, we have our physical body (earth), our emotional body (water), our mental body (air), our spiritual body (fire), and our etheric body or aura/energy field (ether). Wellbeing is the balance of all of these.
Water particularly is very important. This is life is, life begins, where emotions are, and where we connect to the heart and our intuition. In many Indigenous traditional teachings, the waters of the earth and the waters of our bodies are the same water. In the words of Mohawk midwife Katsi Cook, “The follicular fluid which bathes the ripening ovum on the ovary; the dew of the morning grass; the waters of the streams and rivers and the currents of the oceans – all these waters respond to the pull of our Grandmother Moon. She calls them to rise and fall in her rhythm. Mother’s milk forms from the bloodstream of the woman. The waters of our bloodstream and the waters of the earth are all the same water.”
Water is interwoven with our bodies, it is life itself. It is also very healing and nourishing. Drinking “healthy” water and being mindful of how we drink it is important. We should learn the way of water as we handle our emotions and feelings with allowance and kindness of rhythm, without judgment and without resistance. Feel as you feel, and let is all move through you like water. And as water, you too will move through anything, with trust and with gentle flow, through any rock and any stone.
Nourish the body.
Become a body of love rituals.
Take long baths and showers, rub oils and rich body butters, eat healthily and pleasurably, avoid extreme diets and self-criticism, and tend to your body with gratitude for how it moves you each day. Our bodies deserve to be trusted, honored, and loved.
Also, make sure that your household is clean without toxins and too much dust. Research shows that beauty and household cleaning products can contain toxins that are endocrine disruptors, i.e. harmful to hormonal health. It’s a good idea to take a look in your cabinets and do a thorough clean sweep. And take walks in the sun as much as possible – we need vitamin D3 and natural sunlight!
Sleep is perhaps one of the most important things – so make sure that you get plenty of it! It is incredibly healing and allows both our body and mind to renew and recharge. It keeps us healthy, reduces stress, and lowers the risk of illnesses. It is also a creative aphrodisiac!
Oils are also wonderful to use, whether as essences or as body oils. Fertility oils are very much like the love, attraction, passion and sex oils – because the scent is meant to awaken and increase our sexual energy, which is also our life force and creative energy. They stimulate our senses and sacral chakra, and inspire more heart-openness, sensuality and love making.
It is important for us as women to feel sexy in our own skins, as well as adored, loved, inspired and desired. Sexy lingerie is certainly fun – and no, you don’t need a man to enjoy your beautiful new silks or naughty garters!
For love, passion and fertility: vanilla, cacao (chocolate), night jasmine, rose petals, ylang ylang, lavender, apples, red raspberry, citrus (lemon, orange, grapefruit), damiana, sandalwood, pine and eucalyptus, geranium, cinnamon, and strawberry.
You can read all about the love, passion and fertility oils in my article The Magical Properties of Love Oils, where I share their many healing benefits and how to use them in our every day.
When it comes to tea, any herbal tea is amazing to drink, but especially, raspberry leaf tea is always recommended by doulas during pregnancy, as well as for relieving menstrual cramps. Raspberry leaves have also been used for centuries in magic love spells for attracting love and passion, increasing fertility, and binding fidelity. In the old days, newly weds would actually sew raspberry leaves into their mattreses so that their marriage would be blessed with long-term passion, love and fidelity.
There are no rights or wrongs because we are all different – so always, always, trust your own inner guidance. Our bodies are intuitive and once we learn how to truly listen to their unique language, we can let them guide us into what they need.
Be mindful of your surroundings.
We already mentioned how the spirit child becomes imbued with the mother’s consciousness, as well as absorbs the energy of her surrounding even before it is in her womb. This is why women would be very mindful of who they see, who they speak to, who they talk to, what they speak, what they think, how they feel, what they watch, and what they do – when they were pregnant. They would have consecrated spaces where they could spend their time, as much as they needed, to make sure they had peace, love, joy and serenity.
Well, most of us nowadays live in big cities with a lot of stress. And that’s okay – we do the best we can. Try to surround yourself only with those who have your best interest in mind – and can hold a positive vision for you even when you can’t see it for yourself clearly. Our deepest heart’s dreams are sacred and precious – but they are also vulnerable because they haven’t formed yet. We need to protect them and care for them. The way people project on us affects us energetically, and people doubt, distrust, judge and criticize – this imprints on us and our aura. You need people who will believe in you and your dreams – even when you yourself are starting to doubt.
Surround yourself with love – and set boundaries with those who don’t have the ability to show up for you in a loving way, nor the capacity to hold a positive space and vision for you. It can be hard to set boundaries with friends and family, because they mean well, but they just don’t always have the ability or capacity to show up for us the way we need them to – so set loving boundaries with them, and as they love you, they’ll understand.
Cleanse and protect your energy with salt bath cleansing, taking time off screens, news and social media, and try not to compare yourself to anyone else – because we all have our own paths in life. Everyone struggles in their own way also – so we never know the full stories on social media. And when you need help and support, no matter how little or small, don’t be afraid to reach out. Whether it is a trusted friend, a support network, your family, your partner, therapists, healers, doulas, energy healers, psychics – we all need helping hands sometimes to hold us and comfort us.
Connect to your divine feminine energy.
This is the part of our consciousness that senses, intuits, feels deeply and trusts unconditionally. It is how we manifest and create – and how we build deeper connections to everyone and everything around us.
Connect to your feelings and feel your feelings. Express your emotional side. Be soft. Be like water. Water is soft while strong, and it flows as it needs. Be kind and gentle, stay in empathy and openness of heart. Know how to ask for help, support, and allow yourself to receive it. Allow yourself to need. So often we are bombarded with shame to need and have needs, but to need is intimate and natural.
Develop your intuition and subtle body, while also sharpening all your senses. Learn to enjoy the simple things, the natural things. Create your own pleasures and enjoyment in your life. Be creative and apply your creativity in all aspects of your life. Nurture your imagination and dreams, pour your heart entirely in what you love and let love fulfill you.
Move your body in dance and in beauty. Dance is one of the best ways to embody the feminine energy. It opens a new energy, new channel for creation.
Take pleasure in all you desire and need, feel the heat of your underground connected to your sensuality and your creativity, embrace your wild spirit. Nurture yourself. Give to yourself. Mother yourself. Be empathic towards yourself. Be tender and forgiving towards yourself. If you hold any judgments and limiting self-beliefs regarding pregnancy – let go of that and clear your mental space. There are no shoulds.
Carve out your me-time and make this a priority. Awaken, stimulate and indulge your senses with pleasures, chocolates, candles and soothing baths. Connect to the wild feminine dancing naked at candle light, taking nightly walks and romancing the moon, walking barefoot, bathing in the hot sun. What it is that romances your soul – do it, wholebodily and wholeheartedly.
Open to your partner, open to love.
If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, try to find some time to take a break – go on a mini sexy trip, go to a spa or create your own spa experience at home with a nice bath, candles and good wine. Sometimes the pressures and expectations around conceiving can get in the way of how you actually want this time to feel – which is probably special, sexy, sensual, deep, intimate, powerful, ecstatic, excited, etc.
And for us as women, it doesn’t feel very pleasurable if we view this experience as “scheduled sex time” – so connect to your eroticism and underground heat. Awaken your erotic self. Buy sexy lingerie, try out different ways of love making incorporating all the senses. Have fun as well – as laughter is not only a powerful life force energy, but it is also a great aphrodisiac!
If you are single, imagine, imagine, imagine. Look in the mirror, touch your belly and imagine being pregnant. How does it feel? Describe it, feel it, as if it already is. Feel the heat of a man who loves you deeply making its way between your thighs. What kind of a partner do you want and need, what qualities are you looking for? Feel the beauty of your child wanting to be with you in this life. Imagine your baby in your arms. Feel it as if it’s in your arms. Speak to it in your thoughts. Know that it is with you – and the rest is only a matter of time. Put yourself in the vibration of love in whatever shape and form that may look like for you. Love is tenderness, compassion, giving, opening, trusting, joyfulness, kindness, gratitude, appreciation, connection …
Remember that babies are high vibrational little beings, and they need to enter into the world with lots of love!
A love story.
As we come into a close tonight, I want to tell you a beautiful story that I learned from doula Taylor McKay Smith about the Himba tribe in Namibia.
For the Himba, the birthdate of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they were conceived, but from the day that the child was just a thought in its mother’s mind. When a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. After she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child together, as a way to invite it lovingly into their life and home.
This is how anything is born. Out of love.
Creating our own love rituals and offerings are a beautiful way to invite a child into our loving life and home. And there are many ways to do this: You could write a letter, a song, say a special prayer, create jewellery of sea shells or flower petals, or have a special place in nature where you dance imagining your future baby. Whatever your heart feels, open to it and let it. Create what feels true to you and what resonates with your own heart.
With love, always.
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