“She is soft and inviting; he is tender despite his strength. He takes her hand, it’s quieter here and they hear the heavens conspire. He tilts her face up to his and their eyes meet; for a moment nothing else exists. Sweet emotions blend with passion; yet they are clear-headed. Eye to eye, heart to heart, minds as one, they see each other and see their own selves reflected back. With their commitment into being, by water, fire and air their love is formed. Together they create something new; not you, not I, but we.”
~ Barbara Moore, Tarot of The Hidden Realm
Ah, love, sweet love.
What is love anyway?
Love is everything. It is not confined to a definition or a list. It is what gives life meaning. It is not an emotion, even though it feels so sweet. It is a verb because we need to treasure it, nurture it and care for it – to experience it. Love is what makes sense and why everything is happening. It is the answer to all the questions, even those we don’t know how to ask yet. It is the immortal face of our beloved after death. Love is what gives us meaning. Love is what matters to us most deeply. Love is why we are living and it is our sole purpose – to remember that we are spiritual beings in bodies, and not become spiritual but re-awaken our spirituality to connect better to each other. Love is what matters at the end of our life – the only thing we’ll care for then is how much we loved and how did we express it.
We yearn for union and togetherness. Everything in life is a relationship. And we are capable of loving everything when we spend time with it. Even confined to a room, we will build intimacy with that room. Love gives our experience weight and meaning. On a deep level, we are always seeking togetherness because we come from union – and so there is always that internal yearning. We come from oneness. And we will always long to connect to someone or something. Love doesn’t hurt. It is only us that hurt each other. Love is a sense of being. Love is everything.
Everything is life is a relationship. And we need to honor that.
Love is not there to please us or make us happy always. It is there to grow us, shift us and transform us. But wherever it beckons us to go – we must follow it. Remain faithful to love and wherever love destines you to go – you must go because love is worthy.
Because love means everything. Because love is everything.
What is sex?
Sex is the expression of our love. It is the celebration of our love. Sexual energy is sacred, creative and powerful, and merges our energies together, and our life paths together. Sexual energy is the reason we exist. We need to respect it and honor it and understand it. We need to treasure it. And yet, we have greatly misused it.
There is a lot of misuse, abuse and unhealthy views of sex. There is a lot of obsession, oppression, suppression, addictions, shame, guilt, silence and we’ve normalized abuse and we’ve normalized cheating. Unfortunately, our world today is predominantly unhealthy, predatory and many people are ill-intentioned.
As a society, we’ve objectified people – you see a thing you like, and now you want to have sex with it immediately. Instead of seeing a woman and honouring her and respecting her – getting to know her on a deeper level, and then creating the sacred space in which you can build deeper connection and long-lasting intimacy.
We also need to be taught on the importance of our sexual energy and how to harness it. Sexual energy is the most powerful of all – it is essentially how the universe created itself – it is the conception and the birth. But we need to be mindful – because every time we take in a partner sexually, our energies merge as we absorb them into our field directly. In other words, I’d probably advice you not to sleep with anyone you don’t want to become.
Actually in tantra, one of the main lessons is getting rid of guilt, shame, perversions and external stimulations. It is about understanding the importance and sacredness of sexual energy so that we use it with our partner to build long-lasting intimacy and deeper connection. It is about realizing we are already a part of the oneness. Tantra is not about sex at all actually – this is a great misconception. Tantra means “extreme discipline” – and it is about learning to use your body and your mind as tools for higher spiritual connection. It has nothing to do with the external world or other people – tantra is about 100% being completely rooted in our own body. The yogic tantra is extreme discipline in learning to use only your own body and your own energy – and nothing and no one outside of you – everything is internalized to learn our own power by using the tools of our body, mind and energy. Once you become pleasant in your own self – fully pleasant – then your experience of life will change, and as a result your connections with others will be more pleasant also. Once we learn to no longer need external stimulations, we will make better choices in our romantic life rather than just be with people because of some need we can’t fill ourselves.
It is also quite common for many people to spend a few years in celibacy at one point in their life as part of their spiritual growth. During this very conscious phase, you cleanse your energy, develop your intuition and clair (psychic) senses, awaken the kundalini and basically you learn to harness your sexual power so that it is transformed into its creative force. To learn to be in control of our mind and desires – rather than be a slave to them. To learn to harness your sexual energy – you must first learn and honour the importance of it.
Let us remember that sex is a celebration of our love. Let us keep it beautiful and sacred within our relationship and enjoy ourselves and each other within the sanctuary of our relationship.
Soulmates & The Purpose of Relationships
“When it’s time for souls to meet, there’s nothing on earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located. When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time is too long, and nothing and no one can break them apart.”
We have many soulmates and not all will be romantic/sexual. The connections are always felt really deeply and destined – as if we are just picking up from where we started. It is known and it feels like home. We also have karmic partners, energetic bonds etcetera. But before I go on, I want to say this – we need to understand that all people are purposeful in our life.
When we define and categorize, we ultimately limit ourselves; we rob ourselves of the experience of a connection. Do not worry so much about the definition “soulmate” – it is about the experience. We need to learn to honor all of our connections rather than put them in some human-made boxes of definitions. We need to move away from such restrictions – and focus on ourselves and our intentions.
If it brings you back to yourself and your true path – the relationship was of love and it was meant to be. This is the higher purpose of relationships.
Let’s dig in further.
There are two main reasons for having a relationship in life.
1) We need someone else to reflect un-integrated parts of ourselves so that through them our shadow sides surface and we can then have the opportunity to integrate them.
2) We have a specific soul contract to create something as “we” – a child, for example.
Our partner will be of vibrational match to us where we can reciprocate what we offer to each other and if they are not a vibrational match we would not feel truly fulfilled; and we’ll never be able to stay in each other’s lives. Sometimes people separate not because they don’t love each other any longer, but they just no longer walk the same path and share the same values or vision. This is not a failure. An end of a relationship is not a failure and we should move forward with peace and compassion for the time that we’ve been in each other’s lives.
We call in people who have the information that we need to help us grow spiritually and advance in our chosen paths; they bring us back to ourselves so that they activate us in a way that we go back into our soul. And if we are not in vibrational alignment/match with our soul then yes, such “soul” connections may get really painful as they will be mirroring a lot of our shadow sides.
Some soulmates act as catalysts. The purpose of this is to wake us up in a way that we reflect on where we are and how far off we are from our true selves, because essentially we can only attract what is resonant with our own vibration. This is why if we want better relationships we should focus on raising our own vibration first and this way it would be impossible for someone of a lower vibe to stay in our life even when we think we want or love them, each one of us is only responsible for ourselves, and if that person wants to stay in our life then that’s up to them to raise their own vibration through inner work and self-development.
And every relationship has its own specific purpose too. For some of us it is to have a child with that person, for others it is to build something of service together or to help them heal themselves with our energy, or to build our self-confidence or remind us of the spark of hope that true deep soulmate love really exists and it’s on its way to us. And yet for others, it is to wake them up and force them to face themselves and own up to their uncomfortable truths.
On our way towards meeting the one meant for us, there will be others. In each of them we will recognize and fall in love with a part of them that will ultimately be also a part of our one. In other words, our true love soulmate will be seen as glimpses through other people along the way. This is because we’ve spent many lives together, and a residue of this deep soul memory is ingrained within us – and so, we will recognize it in others. Until the day, when they show their full self in front of us – and then, we’ll know – this is the one I was made for.
But along the way, we need to be grateful for every person with whom we cross paths with. We should also never romanticize spiritual concepts – especially if it is to perpetuate some toxic behaviour or feed some insecurity or delusion. Some people just want someone else to validate their existence because they are not fulfilled on the inside. This is where misunderstood concepts can become dangerous. Be careful what ideas you feed yourself with to distract yourself from yourself – and do not rationalize nor believe any ideas or concepts that harm you, no matter what they are.
Love is not painful. Love doesn’t hurt. It is only us, as humans, that we hurt each other. And as far as “karma” is concerned, the minute someone abuses you in any shape or form, it is no longer “karma”; it is a choice whether you stay or leave, and please, do leave finding the support you need to do that. It is your choice. Not fate.
True soulmate feels natural and flows easily – and it is impossible to hurt one another because only love can flow through their lips. And the love is mutual – both of them just know they belong to one another.
Sometimes we meet a soulmate with whom we’ve had a soul contract to be together romantically – but this is still a free will universe. And both need to say “yes” on soul level again. Otherwise, it won’t take roots. This can bring sadness because we do feel so deeply that it was meant to be. It’s like being left standing at the train station. Someone was supposed to get off that train because you had an appointment – but they just didn’t show up. The reasons for that can be many.
But don’t worry because you will never be denied your experience. Another one will come along to help you along your path with whom you will share the experience your soul desired.
I do believe wholeheartedly – there is an invisible kingdom guiding us along the way and that the universe has our back. Just allow life to happen. We all have our own paths and sometimes we just need to allow everyone else, as well as ourselves, to go through what we need to go through.
When you are destined to meet someone, you will meet them. What happens after is up to both of you, but meetings are destined, so you can’t miss it even when you are strategically hiding from it.
Having said that, I will also say that past life relationships can be really difficult to deal with. There are often heavy residues from what you have experienced together and can be difficult to detach and let go of such connections energetically. Know yourself and your true intentions and shadow sides. Ask yourself, why do you want a relationship, why do you want this person? Once you meet “the one”, then what?
Love comes in many different ways – and it has many different speeds, movements and shapes. So never worry about that. It always finds its way. Do not burden yourself with the how and why and where and who – just be present, open-hearted and know who you are and what you truly want. Who is meant to stay in your life will stay. I can’t even begin to tell you how I’ve met the most significant people in my life out of thin air. I can’t even explain to you how whoever was meant to find me always found me even in a different country – even when I did not want to and did everything possible to hide.
As rivers flow to sea, what is will always be.
~ from Moonhold by Lubomira Kourteva
As rivers flow to sea, what is will always be. It belongs to you – it is yours to be experienced only by you. And whoever doesn’t stay in your life – just let them go peacefully and gracefully. Be grateful no matter what happened – it was purposeful and needed, but walk away. Separation is an illusion anyway. You are always connected to “the one” you love no matter where they are.
And the one who truly loves you will not harm you. Of course we’ll have disagreements and it won’t be easy, but they will not harm you. And so … take refuge in the quiet corner of your heart and know, deeply know, that like rivers flow to sea, what is will always be. True love always finds it way. Even when you are strategically hiding from it. When the clock strikes the sacred time, it will find you.
Let it find you.
With Love & Peace,
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Cover Art: “The Lovers” from Tarot of The Hidden Realm.